Jealous

After that strange, hollow night with Mia, I convinced myself that maybe, with time, things could work. The uncomplicated comfort of her company helped soothe the ache, even if it never truly filled the emptiness. Maybe what I needed wasn't intensity but simplicity, a relationship free from tangled pasts and convoluted feelings.

We decided to go to a local fair that Saturday. It was one of those pop-up events that took over the town square with bright lights, food stalls, and games. The air was thick with the smell of cotton candy, fried food, and laughter echoing in the chilly evening. 

Mia seemed happy, her smile contagious as she pulled me from one booth to the next. We laughed our way through a ring toss, took cheesy pictures in a photo booth, and even shared a funnel cake, smearing powdered sugar on each other's faces. For the first time in a while, I felt myself relax, caught in the simplicity of the moment.

But then, as we walked past the Ferris wheel, something caught my eye—a familiar profile in the crowd, dark curls and that unmistakable, confident posture. My breath hitched. It was Jordan.

But he wasn't alone.

He stood by the carousel, laughing with someone—a tall guy with an easy, charming smile and an arm slung casually around Jordan's shoulders. They looked comfortable, their heads close as they talked. Something inside me twisted painfully as I watched Jordan lean into him, smiling in that warm, uninhibited way I knew so well.

My heart clenched, a visceral, undeniable ache. I had convinced myself that I was okay, that I could push my feelings for Jordan aside and move forward. But seeing him there, laughing with someone else, struck something raw within me.

"Avery?" Mia's voice snapped me back to the present. She looked up at me, her brow furrowed in concern. "Are you okay? You seem… distracted."

I forced a smile, trying to shake off the heaviness. "Yeah, sorry. Just thought I saw someone I knew."

"Oh," she said, a hint of relief in her eyes. "Anyone important?"

I hesitated, glancing back at Jordan and his companion. They looked so natural together, as if they'd known each other for years. It shouldn't have bothered me, not after everything, but it did. I swallowed hard, pushing down the feelings that threatened to rise.

"No one important," I lied, the words bitter in my mouth.

Mia smiled, tugging my hand as she led me toward a nearby booth selling handmade jewelry. But even as she examined the rings, bracelets, and necklaces, I couldn't tear my gaze away from where Jordan stood. He hadn't seen me yet, too wrapped up in his conversation to notice my presence. But part of me wished he would, that he would look over and recognize that I was here, that maybe he'd feel the same pang of jealousy I felt watching him.

The guy he was with leaned in close, whispering something that made Jordan laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way I loved. It was a laugh I thought I understood, a laugh I'd once believed was reserved just for me. I felt a surge of jealousy, raw and unexpected, like an open wound being pressed.

Mia looked up, noticing my distraction. She followed my gaze, her expression shifting as she caught sight of Jordan and his companion. Her hand tensed around mine. 

"Is that… someone you know?" she asked, her tone careful.

I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn't pretend anymore. "That's Jordan."

"The Jordan?" she asked, her voice gentle, though I could hear the hint of unease beneath it.

I nodded, feeling the weight of my words hang in the air. She was silent for a moment, her expression unreadable, and then she slipped her arm around me, her touch warm and steady.

"Avery, if this is too much, we can leave," she offered quietly.

The compassion in her voice only made the guilt twist tighter inside me. She had been nothing but kind, trying to be there for me, giving me the space to heal. And yet, here I was, unable to shake the pull of someone who might not even want me.

"No, it's fine," I said, forcing a smile. "I don't want to ruin the night."

Mia nodded, though I could sense her hesitation. She squeezed my hand, offering silent support. We continued walking through the fair, but my heart wasn't in it. I kept glancing back, the image of Jordan with that other guy seared into my mind, a painful reminder of what I'd tried to leave behind.

The night dragged on, each laugh with Mia feeling hollow, each smile forced. I tried to lose myself in the lights, the music, the lively crowds around us, but my mind kept wandering back to Jordan. It was a brutal realization—that, despite everything, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was the one I wanted.

As we left the fair, walking through the quiet, darkened streets, Mia stopped, pulling me gently to face her. Her gaze was steady, yet there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"Avery," she began softly, "I know you're still hurting. And… I care about you a lot. But I can see how much Jordan still matters to you."

I opened my mouth to argue, to deny it, but the words wouldn't come. I was caught, trapped between the person standing in front of me and the person I couldn't let go of.

"Mia, I… I don't know what to say."

She gave a small, sad smile. "You don't have to say anything. I think I already know."

I lowered my gaze, shame washing over me. She deserved better than this, better than someone who was only half present, half invested. But before I could apologize, she reached out, touching my arm.

"I'll be okay," she said, her voice warm. "Just… promise me you'll figure out what you really want. Because whatever it is, you deserve to find it."

I nodded, the words catching in my throat. As she gave me a gentle hug, I felt a surge of gratitude for her kindness. She walked away, her figure fading into the night, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Standing there in the quiet, I finally admitted to myself that trying to move on had been a mistake. Jordan had rooted himself in my heart in ways I hadn't fully understood, and watching him with someone else had only made that more painfully clear.

It was time to stop running, to face whatever it was between us, even if it meant confronting those tangled memories and the turmoil they brought.