Back to School

I sighed, like some disappointed grandma. I wasn't a grandma but I was disappointed, well somewhat disappointed. Mainly because I hadn't been able to get a conversation with WWN headquarters to add my own radios to it, or even my own programme.

It was backed by the Ministry but mom didn't know anyone who could help sadly enough, well at least not anyone who didn't hate her guts.

Though I weirdly did know someone, and he didn't hate my guts either.

Drake.

His family as one of the sacred twenty eight, had some pull in the Ministry, I had tried writing him letters throughout summer but no answers, so I'd have to talk to him in the train and I'd probably have it done by Christmas.

If I did have it done, maybe I could even get the singing sorceress from the Witching Hour, Celestina Warbeck. Mom listened to her constantly and I'm sure she'd be super excited if I had her on my show. Hell, maybe I could even get her to do a duet with me. I mean, who wouldn't want to hear Thunderstruck sung by the most famous witch in Britain? The publicity alone would be worth its weight in galleons.

I digress, it was school time so I was gonna be focused in school. Yeah, of course I was gonna do it, no kleptomaniac tendencies this year, no sirey, I'm gonna be a good little student.

Well, mostly good. I mean, a guy's gotta have some fun, right? And technically, unauthorized radio broadcasting wasn't really stealing. It was more like... unsolicited entertainment provision. Completely different category of rule-bending.

"Why are you so f---ing quiet, you're pissing me the f-ck off," a very special someone yelled on my shoulder. Surrounding people recoiled at the bleeped out profanity. I however laughed, mom joined me and so did dad, the strangers recoiled even further.

"And get this f---ing thing off me," Jarvey yelled trying to pull with his paws at the collar I had put on him, which I had enchanted with two functions, the first of course being the one I was using right now, an automatic bleeper, the second being full on silence, yes sirey, no house points taken because of swearing familiars this year, GOOD STUDENT LIFE here we come!

The collar had taken me most of the summer to perfect. The bleeping charm was easy enough, but getting it to recognize context was the real challenge. I couldn't have it censoring every time Jarvey said duck or shiitake mushrooms.

No, it had to be smart enough to understand intent and tone. The result was a masterpiece of practical enchantment that I was genuinely proud of.

The silence function, though, that was my insurance policy. If things got really out of hand - like if Jarvey decided to start narrating my more questionable activities during a particularly quiet Transfiguration class - I could flip a switch and render him completely mute until I decided otherwise. It was probably morally questionable to essentially gag my familiar, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Still I should get on early and start placing radios on each carriage," I muttered, checking my expanded wallet where I'd stored about three hundred and thirty three of the devices. "What better welcome could there be than some good ol' music, truly I am a man, well a kid, well a wizard of the people, well not really people more like other wizards, wizardple, yeah let's go with that."

My mom seemed to have heard me, as she gave me a big hug alongside a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye dear, see you in Christmas."

"See you mom," I hugged her back, genuinely meaning it this time. Despite everything - the lies, the secrets, the increasingly morally gray activities - my parents were still my anchor. They kept me grounded in a way that nothing else could. "Don't let dad take on another interest for the love of merlin, otherwise I'm gonna have to learn it"

"Hey now," dad protested, though he was grinning. " Some of those interests come in handy."

"Two out of how many," mom asked giggling. "But I wouldn't change that side of you for anything, after all I love that you 'experiment.'"

"Maybe we can 'experiment' later."

I tilted my head. Was I missing something?

"Jarvey?" I asked my familiar.

"No f-cking clue."

My dad coughed a bit, at my words, turning a bit red, while my mom laughed for some reason.

"Either way see you kiddo," he said as he ruffled my spiky hair, making it even more wild and more like mom's.

With that I sped into the first carriage, opened up my wallet, and as if by magic (well it was actually magic), a radio floated up from my wallet and stuck itself onto the train ceiling before disappearing, then the next, the next and the next. The installation process was smooth and efficient - I'd practiced the spell sequence dozens of times over the summer until I could do it without thinking.

Each radio attached itself with a permanent sticking charm that would be nearly impossible to remove without knowing the specific counter-charm. They were also charmed to be invisible to anyone who wasn't actively looking for them, and even then, they'd just look like normal train fixtures to casual observation. I was rather proud of the concealment work.

I was greeted by people mostly Ravenclaws as I ran down the corridor, and I could see recognition in their eyes. Word had apparently gotten around about my little musical contributions last year. They urged me to play some songs, which I would of course reply in kind.

"Any requests?" I called out as I passed a compartment full of what looked like fourth-year Ravens.

Tens of requests reached my ears.

The enthusiasm was infectious. Students were poking their heads out of compartments, calling out song requests, asking questions about how the system worked. I felt like some kind of magical DJ celebrity, which honestly wasn't too far from my ultimate goal anyway.

But more than that, I could see the social dynamics at play. Music was a unifying force, something that transcended house boundaries and age differences. A first-year Gryffindor and a seventh-year Slytherin might not normally have much in common, but put on the right song and suddenly they're both singing along. This wasn't just entertainment - it was social engineering on a massive scale.

Basically everyone can jam to awesome tunes, stuck ups, nerds, jocks or people pleasers.

I made it to the final carriage, where I saw three kids, two who I recognized and they recognized me. The third was someone I didn't immediately place, but he had that nervous first-year energy that was unmistakable.

"Twins," I said, noting how Fred and George seemed to have grown over the summer. They looked more confident, if that was even possible for the Weasley twins.

"Soulless f-ckers," Jarvey yelled, his commentary as eloquent as always.

"YOU!" the twins both yelled, and I could see that familiar gleam in their eyes - the one that usually preceded either a brilliant prank or a spectacular disaster. Sometimes both.

But before any of us could say anything else, a voice came floating in through the train's open door.

"Fred? George? Are you there?"

The twins looked at me with the fire of pranking in their eyes I had seen so often, but they replied to whoever had called for them.

"Coming, Mom."

I sighed a bit disappointed, why couldn't they have provoked me? I hadn't been able to use testicular torsion on anyone the entire summ-

I shook my head.

Stop thinking like that Felix, you're gonna be a mild mannered student this year, no testicular torsion.

A voice in the back of my mind replied.

"Maybe just a little torsion."

"I said no."

"Just a bit."

"No."

"An itty little bit."

"OK maybe just a bit, I mean no."

Wait why was this conversation so real.

I turned my head to my side, Jarvey was whispering in my ear.

"Just a bit."

I pulled away Jarvey from my ear, giving him a stern look that he completely ignored. "We talked about this. Good student behavior, remember?"

"Good student behavior is boring as f-ck," Jarvey replied, though the bleeping charm turned it into something more family-friendly. "Besides, they started it by existing."

After all that a radio floated up from my wallet and stuck itself to the ceiling, my eyes meanwhile landed on the boy who was staring at me a bit eye wide, his mouth agape, his glasses almost falling from his face.

Was I that handsome?

A/N: What a good first impression Felix and Jarvey gave the Boy Who Lived, yep nothing weird about them, nothing at all, oh and also... I CAST GIVE ME YOUR STONES!!