The Dungeon of Dysfunction

"The feeling is mutual," I muttered as I shoved Ananara under my arm like a particularly sassy loaf of bread and glanced around the darkened corridor ahead. The eerie glow of the dungeon walls pulsed faintly, casting distorted shadows that made the jagged stones look like monstrous teeth.

[Progress Report: One room cleared, thirty-nine to go.]

"Thirty-nine?" I groaned, nearly dropping Ananara. "This is going to take forever."

[Not if you pick up the pace. Unless, of course, you're aiming for the 'Longest Dungeon Crawl in History' award.]

Ananara, muffled but still audible from his undignified position, chimed in. "Perhaps if you listened to my wisdom, this endeavor wouldn't feel like a slog."

"You're the one who rolled into a corner during the last fight!" I shot back. "What wisdom are you offering, exactly? How to be decorative?"