Chapter 3

"Lucinda! Jonathan! There you are I was worried sick!" Mom yelled as she ran over to Jonathan and I and gave us a big bear hug.

Dad emerged to where we were from the reflection of the sky and slowly walked over to us. He furrowed his eyebrows at me then to Jonathan. "Don't ever disappear on us like that," Dad demanded, he was more stern than ever. Pebbles began barking, getting up on his hind legs attempting to lick dad on the face but was rejected instantly. I could see why, already there was sand on dad's face, what more could the saliva do to make his face messier.

I looked at mom who was holding Jonathan in his arms tightly and rolled my eyes. Yes, I felt bad for giving them that kind of impression, but Jonathan was really slowing things down for us. If I could say he was the cause of most of our troubles, I probably would by saying it in a nicer way to mom of course. Still, I don't dare to sit down and talk to mom about this matter, dad is not as serious as she is, but he wouldn't take my word seriously, not at a time like this. He was too occupied with the activities, that being fishing and exploring. He was way to joviale, and here I was, ready to collapse anytime from a panic attack.

The sky was turning a darker gray, which was a sign for us to leave. Below the grey linen was the still waters of the ocean in front of us. I could feel the breeze over the surface of the water calling out to me, attempting to pull me closer, every bit of wind touched the surface of my skin. For a minute there, I thought I heard my name, my vision became cloudy and couldn't see a thing anymore. Blood started pounding in my ears, I knew what was going to happen but I couldn't do anything it just kept coming. My parents were still going about their thing, and I didn't want to trouble anyone.

I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down but it wasn't working. It's just an ordinary day, nothing to worry about it you're going to be fine. I kept telling myself that, hoping to feel my lungs take in a chunk of the air but to my dismay that dream didn't happen. I closed my eyes tight and clenched my fist, trying not to throw up, and than I opened them again and let out a sigh. What happened.

There I was, standing still on the moist sand, looking at the dark waterbody, while my parents and Jonathan were treating this trip like an ordinary vacation. Glancing at them made me think: Im supposed to be having fun, enjoying myself at such a place and digging in in the freshly caught seafood, but no instead, I've been so terrified of the ocean, and it's gotten even worse now, I just can't control it anymore. I thought I had gotten over my fear, but theres something triggering it again.

Before I could cover my ears with my cold hands and block every sound to let me focus and repel these worries away, I head mom calling out to me, her voice sounded faded, which concerned me because this wasn't normal, and it could only mean something..

"Lucinda! We're leaving!"

I looked up at them with anguish on my face.

Dad who was now carrying Jonathan looked at me with concern in his eyes. Brushing the hair off my face, I walked towards them, trying to avoid eye contact with Dad, for he knew something was wrong. I looked guilty.

Flashbacks starting coming back to me as we walked back to our challe. Why was I so scared of the ocean? I almost had a panic attack. I had never been more grateful for mom's voice to break the chain of fear for me at that spare moment. Her call saved my life. Now about the flashbacks, I couldn't recall much because that was so long ago, but I remembered what happened, what it was like.

I was sitting on the couch watching the news on TV, the topics shown seemed interesting until they showed a woman screaming in pain after she got stung by a jellyfish at shore. It had been a few minutes since they delve onto the case and the visuals never left my mind for I could still vividly remember the woman's pleads and screams for help. If I was there at the beach, I would've been just as terrified as the onlookers there. From then on I was afraid to even come close to the waters at the beach, even after hearing all those cases and speculations of what lies in our waters long before that I never dared to and watching that on TV made it worse.

And that was it, that was all I remember. I guess the main cause would be growing up, where new fears start to arise. I scratched my head in annoyance, I ranted my way back 'home' and it was just plain irritating coming up with all these theories and trying to reform memories that already exist. I sighed and looked at Pebbles who was panting beside me. He's tired too. I thought.

The truth was, Jonathan was sort of triggering my anxiety here, it was stressful having to deal with his typical baby behavior, what more in a place like this? I hate to admit it, but this really gave me headaches, ongoing ones, im just too worried about my safety here. But the question was, why was the beach so deserted, where is everyone? It still didn't make any sense to me, and im not sure if my parents noticed that too.

When we finally got back, I rushed through dinner and went straight to my room. I grabbed my phone from my bag and started googling this place. Apparently, this place is an actual resort, but not the most popular out there. That made me feel a little better, so I put my phone aside and grabbed a blanket. It was a tiring day, we almost lost Jonathan and mom screamed at me twice. I should text my friends to see how they're doing, tomorrow perhaps. I don't normally feel exhausted, but if I do very easily, something is wrong, and the answer to this can be seen at the window, which I tried not to look at it, or even have a glimpse at. I hate my fear.

Suddenly my phone ringed. I rolled myself to the other side of the bed, and grabbed my phone from the desk. My isolated self had gotten a message from Morgan. Coincidentally I had just been thinking about she and Noelle today, im hoping everything's fine with them. If they were here with me, I wouldn't be tormenting myself like this.

I read the message and jumped out of the sheets.

Morgan was planning on coming all the way here this week depending on the time. While I was now excited and about to turn my room upside down, I felt a pinch at the word 'depending' so in a way I shouldn't be getting my hopes up. I'd love to have her here, unfortunately for me, my parents had to deal with Jonathan's crankiness, so I didn't really have anyone to talk to here. Things would return to normal once we're out of this gloomy pit.

As I slowly typed my sentence to respond to her message, my breathing slowed down again. This time it wasn't a panic attack, it was just disappointment. I really wanted to go home, im sure my parents do too, this place was breaking us apart, and I couldn't lie to Morgan if she asked if everything was OK. She'd know if I was lying, there's no way everything was perfect here.

I pressed 'send' and laid on my bed. The ceiling was the only thing I could look at while laying on my bed. Immediately, I heard another notification and opened it. Morgan was just as upset as I was and I felt bad for making her feel that way. Even if she didn't come over it was fine, I don't want to trouble anyone for now, perhaps I should just accept what was happening and deal with it myself. Now the problem was, mom had already given up on me and I still can't figure out a way to avoid overreacting to something that didn't even happen, yet.

I sent another text with the intention of cheering things up a little. The conversation then came to an end as we both ended it with a simple 'Goodnight.' Curling my fingers, I sighed and shut myself to sleep. Jonathan's sudden disappearance at the beach earlier in the day was the first thing that I witnessed in my mind, and for some reason I had never felt more guilty in my life. Jonathan was partly my responsibility too and blaming him for everything wasn't going to help. Just as I was about to feel the need to redeem myself for my unexplainable anger during this entire trip, an image of the ocean popped up in my head again. As much as I didn't want to admit it, the issue was, I had already succumbed to it.

Turning to each side for comfort, I stopped and finally took a worthwhile rest from all the events that occurred these past two days.