Chapter 8

Aunt Royce settled us in with dinner and some consolidation. Being exposed to the bright light of the house woke me up a little. Not from this dream, but it did make me realize that this wasn't real.

For some reason I don't feel sad anymore, but I felt sad for Jonathan.

He was crying at the dining table, holding his toy in hopes it'll clear all of his worries. I was sitting on the couch watching the news. I could hear Aunt Royce and Jonathan's voices and sobs in the background.

While the news was focusing on the missing parts retrieved from the boat and the missing passengers on board, I decided to look around Aunt Royce's house to see if there was anything that could wake me up physically. Bearing the guilt of what happened to my parents was something that I wanted to come to an end, differentiating between reality and dreams is turning my emotions into spirals. I couldn't think straight anymore.

"I miss mommy and daddy."

That voice.

I turned to my left and saw Jonathan pouting at me in tears. I felt sorry for him, in this dystopia. He was still Jonathan he deserved better. Once I leave this place he's on his own.

"W-what ar-are we gonna do!"

My little brother started breaking down to tears again. His wails filled the whole house that night, I just watched as it muffled the sound of the television. Perhaps I should comfort him before I leave.

"Jonathan."

He looked at me before cupping his face in his hands, sobbing more.

"We'll always be there for one another-

"I want to go home!"

"Jonathan, we're home now, this is where we're going to stay from now on."

"It's not!"

"Jonathan please listen to me."

"I-I want to go home!"

How was I going to explain everything to him? He's still too little he wouldn't understand.

"Jonathan, just give me a few minutes OK? I need to explain to you what's going on." I tried reassuring him as calmly as possible, I doubt it would work but I needed to sound sterner now.

"But what about mommy and daddy? They're not here.."

He choked at the last few words again. He's not aware, I'm not sure if I should tell him the truth. The fact that he's still wondering where our parents are means Aunt Royce didn't tell him the full details. I didn't mean to think this way, but would covering up the situation be the best for him considering the fact that this was too much for his young innocent mind to handle? Maybe just maybe if I told him our parents would be back he'd feel much better, once everything's clear, I'll tell him the truth, we can't leave him hanging. Hence I have to tell Aunt Royce, just thinking about this is forming a shaft of guilt in my chest but I didn't know how to explain all of this to my little brother. I'm not in the best state to explain to him either.

Even though he's not my actual little brother, I don't want to hurt him. Just because it's a dream doesn't mean he can't feel.

"Mom and dad will be back, they're just in a hurry somewhere, they'll be back soon!"

"Really?"

I looked at him in pity. The desperation in his eyes made my heart ache. I lied to my little brother.

"I can't wait to show mommy and daddy my new toy!" He exclaimed and laid flat on the floor on his back, spreading his arms and legs around restlessly. It's miserable knowing that he isn't aware of the real situation here. I wonder if he did feel something was wrong, was his instinct trying to tell him something too?

The news had to start talking about the missing people on the boat again. I hoped they wouldn't mention anything about potential casualties or even bring up anyone's family. I just lied to Jonathan, I can't afford to have his feeling crushed again, twice the impact. Thankfully he was busy playing with the postcards on the table so what the news was saying was the least of his worries.

A few minutes had passed since the news got back on the topic of casualties. I completely forgot about Jonathan laying beside me on the floor, I just assumed he fell asleep or something. It was awfully quiet now.

I began twirling my hair of boredom. It was late, about eleven at night. The streets were full of silence, especially on this night since we just moved here and the mood itself was overwhelming for a cheery home environment. Aunt Royce was probably in her room now but I don't think she was sleeping well, she probably wasn't even able to drift to sleep after what happened. And tomorrow wasn't going to be any ordinary day for her. And Jonathan.

After this broadcast I'll go to sleep and hopefully wake up in the actual bed again. I'll miss you Jonathan, stay strong. I still wished the best for everyone even though this was just a dream.

"It's a quiet night isn't it Jonathan?"

Silence.

I looked around and noticed he wasn't beside me anymore. Where could he be?

"Jonathan?" I called out, a couple more times after that.

Still no response. This was giving me the creeps and I wasn't buying it. I didn't want to accept the fact I was left alone now.

I kept calling his name throughout the entire house. No response, I even went to the kitchen to check, he wasn't there. He couldn't have run off somewhere if he did I would've heard him, his footsteps weren't that soft unless he was playing hide and seek at the worst timing possible. Upstairs was the last place I checked, so I decided to make a move there and hopefully find my sneaky little brother.

Calling out his name still, I slowly climbed up the stairs, careful not to make any sound in case it so happens that Jonathan went into one of the rooms to sleep. Aunt Royce was probably asleep by now too. My heart was racing I didn't know what to expect, Jonathan scaring me out of nowhere would be unappealing. So I cautiously just glanced over at every corner, bracing myself.

When I called his name the last few times, I felt my foot slip on something soft. It was his orange squishy toy that he just got. I couldn't tell if I was now feeling annoyed, it's too late to react now, I was already losing balance.

Before I know it, I landed hard on my head and blacked out.

 ~~~

I jumped from my bed, feeling a tense headache coming up. 'What' is the only thing I can think of at this moment.

My fingers were numb, and I was sweating. Cold droplets ran down my head. Waking up to such a state wasn't something I was looking forward to and I could not afford to be questioned by my parents if I were to have breakfast looking like a total mess. Even my hair was fizzy.

I sped to the bathroom trying not to make a sound. I groaned at the thought of having to bump into mom or dad. Luckily it didn't happen, I immediately shut myself in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked deprived; my eyes were drooping and my expression was just lifeless. Sure it seemed like I didn't get enough sleep but if it wasn't obvious enough. It was the dream that messed with my emotions and made differentiating between a dream and reality challenging. I thought about the Jonathan in my dream, and then dismissed it knowing it was just an illusion trying to confuse my sanity. I've never felt more grateful to be 'home' again.

I cupped some cold water from the tab into my limp hands. The sensation went through my veins and stabilized my hands again.

"Lucinda breakfast is ready."

Mom's voice echoed from downstairs. It was nice to hear my parent's voices again after such a vivid nightmare.

Once I was done in the bathroom, I ran down the stairs with a plastered smile on my face. I'll pretend nothing tragic happened. Today was our second last day at this disappointing resort. Sometimes I wish I was there to convince my parents to pick the other options even though we've been to those kind of places numerous times. While I was having my meal, I thought of what we could've done if the resort was brighter, maybe if the beach wasn't so mundane, me Jonathan and Buster would be a little happier. I sat at my seat and thought for a while. On second thought, Jonathan isn't aware of what's happening, why did I even think of adding him to the list. There wasn't much difference between dream Jonathan and my actual baby brother, but to be honest, both have caused enough panics and worries already. However I still enjoyed the trip, quite because I got to at least spend some time with my family. So kudos to dad for booking this trip anyway.

"Lucinda. We're going to one of the restaurants further away from here for lunch." Dad told me.

"Oh. How far is it dad? We might as well have lunch here since all the restaurants are here." I was confused because wouldn't it make sense to have lunch here? I guess dad wants to take us on a trip after three days of staying at the same place.

Dad's expression turned into a solemn one for some reason.

"I had a little conversation with one of the security guards around here. Apparently there's not enough fish, so some of the dishes may not be available which is a shame because we travelled all the way here to enjoy whatever they give us. The waiting time may be longer too due to the preparation time. So to save the trouble of having to go through all that, we might as well go somewhere further, if that makes sense, I hope you understand."

My mind was blank. Not enough fish? If this happens all the time I'm not surprised but it's just strange that there isn't any fish all of a sudden? This trip keeps getting weirder and weirder, I've thought of certain possibilities that could be causing all these bizarre activities going on here but if I were to piece them together… some of them didn't give me the clear picture. Adding on, there was a whole ocean ahead of us, there's an abundance of fish out there. Unless, they died out, migrated due to sudden changes in temperature or, something ate them. That something had to be fairly large, but all this happening so fast was like a rollercoaster of events in one go.

"There's a limited supply of fish? H-how." I couldn't put the words right, I was just so dumbfounded.

"They just disappeared. No sign of those little fins anywhere."

This was one of the most questionable vacations I've ever had in my entire life. I'm not even surprised anymore.

 ~~~

We passed by the forest and finally got to see the world outside the resort once again. Even though the scenery was dull since we were beside the sea in such an area, I admired it in the car. Jonathan was asleep beside me, whenever I look at him sometimes, I wonder what he must be dreaming about. I think I've been a little too hard on Jonathan lately. I know he's been crying a lot but after giving some thought to it, I think he's just as confused as I am, him still being a baby as an exception. He wouldn't understand why the trip isn't as exciting. If only I could take back what I said throughout our entire vacation, I'm sure I've hurt mom and dad. That dream really hits me like a brick, I will try my best to enjoy this vacation, the resort isn't that bad after all.

I can't believe tomorrow was going to be our last day here. I didn't have that much fun and trying to be optimistic here, maybe there was more we could have done. Now we were heading towards an urban area, where we'd be having lunch, probably our last destination for this vacation.

My parents were sitting in front of us, right in front of us. After that dream, I wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing things or half asleep. It may seem out of the ordinary to be questioning my sanity, but sometimes getting mixed up between dreams and reality can you leave you distorted, be it temporarily or forever. I wanted none, only my real life back, which is hopefully now. In order for me to achieve that, I'd have to say my farewells to the source of my illusions, this place, on our last day here.