Chapter 47: The Taste of Past Events

Beautiful bowls and dishes were taken from the basket, with a corner of the sliced century egg dipped in a freshly mixed bright red sauce, contrasting vividly against the black. As Nie Yun Zhu placed the small dish on the counter, she caught sight of the two men nearby. Blinking, she showed a hint of confusion, and after a moment, as if recalling something, her smile faded. She slightly bowed, turned away, and continued to take out the century eggs.

"Um... little waiter, could you please fetch more sauce if we run out?"

At this point, Gu Yanzhen had approached the counter, his face full of questions as he watched her. The little waiter, sensing something was off, hesitated and did not come over to ask Gu Yanzhen what he needed. After Nie Yun Zhu had gently entrusted the task to the waiter, she tidied up the bamboo basket and smiled, nodding towards him: "Young Master Gu."

"Yun... Zhu?" Gu Yanzhen looked at the century eggs in disbelief. "How could you... come out to sell these things?"

"Is there something wrong with that?" Nie Yun Zhu replied, furrowing her brow slightly as she walked out. Gu Yanzhen followed her, pondering for a long time before hesitating to voice his thoughts. After a moment, he finally took a breath to calm himself.

"I... I returned from Bianliang and went to Jin Feng Lou to look for you, only to find you were no longer there. I asked where you are now, but they wouldn't say, only thinking you found a good home and being happy for you. But you... how could you? Out here, selling these things?"

As people came and went along the street, Nie Yun Zhu lowered her head, considering for a moment before smiling: "Thank you for your concern, Young Master. Although Yun Zhu is now out in public, I am merely working with my hands to earn a living. There's nothing wrong with that. Compared to my previous life, I now have a place to belong. You need not worry... Uh, your friend is still waiting inside. You should go to him quickly."

Gu Yanzhen sighed, shaking his head in frustration: "It's nothing... That man just now was Shen Miao, Shen Zishan. You had a few encounters with him before. Didn't you recognize him?" Nie Yun Zhu kept her head down, making it impossible for him to see her expression. After a moment, he chuckled lightly, "Well, considering your outfit, he probably didn't recognize you either."

Yun Zhu continued walking with her head down, and Gu Yanzhen, unsure what to say, resorted to reminiscing about the past: "...I still remember that year at Bai Lu Zhou, your zither playing amazed everyone. I had said back then... During the flower selection, I thought for sure you would take the lead, but you didn't even want to compete. It was then I realized your calm nature... When I left, I intended to express my feelings, but in the end, all I managed were some simple pleasantries... Yet during my time in Bianliang, I thought of you every day."

As his thoughts flowed, the emotions he had bottled up for years burst forth, and he finally blurted out the last sentence, reaching out to take her hand. However, Nie Yun Zhu, perhaps inexperienced in business, instinctively moved aside, furrowing her brow. Gu Yanzhen stood there, momentarily stunned. Nie Yun Zhu glanced at him, her expression still unreadable, before eventually smiling and performing a slight bow.

"Yun Zhu... my surname is Nie."

"Hmm?" Gu Yanzhen hesitated for a moment before asking, "Is that your husband's surname now?"

Nie Yun Zhu shook her head: "My father's surname is Nie. When I fell into the world of sin, selling my beauty, I didn't want to give up my surname entirely, so I only went by Yun Zhu. Back then at Jin Feng Lou, I didn't mention my surname to others. Now that I've finally redeemed myself, I can reclaim my full name... Young Master, I was pleased by your attention back then. If you still remember that young woman, I hope it's Nie Yun Zhu, not just the famous courtesan from Jin Feng Lou."

She spoke these words with a smile, warm yet self-reliant, carefully maintaining her distance. Gu Yanzhen understood the underlying meaning: "You... you blame me for only remembering you as you were back then... but..."

"There's no blame. At that time, Yun Zhu was indeed in a lowly position, performing and using my looks to earn a living. That was the reality, and it is what it is. You genuinely cared for me, and I truly appreciate that. So I want to tell you that although I am now out in public, my heart is at peace, far happier than I was at Jin Feng Lou. You need not worry about me." She slightly bowed, "I have things to attend to, so I must take my leave. Please return, Young Master."

She had to deliver more century eggs to another tavern, a task she thought about as she departed. It was a hard-won market opportunity, and she didn't want to be late. As for Gu Yanzhen... he had encountered many talented men before, some of whom fancied themselves as charming and won the affection of many women. Among them, Gu Yanzhen stood out with his grace and talent, endearing himself to many. But to her now, he was just an ordinary man with a slightly deeper impression.

She remembered that he seemed to have gone to the capital for the imperial examination back then. Shortly after, she had redeemed herself, so encountering him again now was indeed unexpected. But it was merely an encounter; perhaps she would meet many people in the future, so it wasn't particularly remarkable.

The memories of her time as a courtesan at Jin Feng Lou held little allure or elegance in her heart, nor did she find them to be worthy of praise or poetic reflection. In the eyes of those talented scholars, perhaps a poetry gathering or a romantic escapade could be recounted with admiration for a long time. Who was favored by a famous courtesan, who became a guest of honor, or who won the affections of a beauty and willingly surrendered his virginity—all of these were considered the highest and most refined achievements for men. But for her, it was merely a tragic time when a woman, uncertain of her future, walked a precarious path day by day.

After leaving the teaching office, she uneasily bore the fate of being a courtesan. Luckily, she understood music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, which provided her a small opportunity. She worked hard to present herself, learning how to attract others while avoiding any reminders of crude desires, subtly implying that their poetic discussions and musical performances were highbrow affairs. Even after gaining some fame, she remained anxious, fearing that one day, a powerful individual might take an interest in her. It wasn't something any "famous courtesan" or "celebrated woman" could withstand. Various pressures and constraints meant she couldn't allow her reputation to become too prominent, lest she become just another tool for a man to display his charm.

During her time at Jin Feng Lou, few women managed to protect themselves. Those without value, clinging to ideals of virtue, were rare. Many were forcibly drugged, tied up, and subjected to beatings and torment, and few women could endure it to the end. Those with the courage to take their own lives were even scarcer, and even if they attempted it, it ultimately changed nothing. Some women, even those who claimed they sold art but not their bodies, would eventually be forcibly taken by those with power. Who would truly support them?

The most frightening part was that even those who initially resisted fiercely would gradually adapt, growing numb and learning to converse, to fit into that life, slowly sharing their stories of encounters with various men beneath the eaves with other women. During that time, she feared that this would become her future reality. Or, like a rare few women, they might end their own lives, or go mad, and once their value was gone, they were thrown out of Jin Feng Lou, becoming beggars, running around in rags, ultimately unable to survive the winter, turning into decaying corpses.

Gu Yanzhen's reminiscing might be filled with nostalgia, but for her, there was little to cherish, leaving her feeling somewhat displeased. However, this was not his fault. As Liheng had said recently, someone remembering you is ultimately a good thing. His intentions were kind, so she should smile in response to him, thanking him for his kindness and helping him understand these matters. Of course, he might not grasp the true meaning of "finding a home" and merely think that she had married.

After delivering the century eggs to Cui Ping Lou, Gu Yanzhen kept glancing across the street, which made her feel a bit troubled, but there was nothing to be done or said. "I thought of you every day in Bianliang…" What he thought, what they thought, perhaps all centered on that smiling, playing the zither, singing, or dancing to entertain others—this was not their fault; she couldn't be angry, but at that moment, all she could feel was the burden of it all.

Over the years, she might have had some days of playing and singing for her own amusement, but she had indeed thought that from now on, she would no longer please others with those methods or smiles. What did it matter if Gu Yanzhen brought these things up? If she didn't play the zither, sing, dance, or flatter those poetic lines or praise a certain talented man, how many meaningful conversations would they have while sitting together? Yet, just thinking of this inevitably reminded her of one exceptional circumstance…

Now that she thought back on it, she realized that she had been so resolute when making that decision, yet when Liheng asked her about the zither piece last year, she hadn't thought of those matters at all. Instead, she had jokingly said, "How many stories high is it?" Later, while playing and composing music, there were times when he listened to " Garan Rain" and "A long farewell," and in the midst of their banter, she found herself wishing she could showcase more of her skills in front of him. She wanted to tell him, "I sing other pieces even better; perhaps the lyrics and melodies of those are far more pleasing than these odd little tunes." When he casually mentioned his dislike for monotonous lyrics and melodies, she even felt a flicker of irritation and a small desire for expression, wanting to say, "If I were the one singing, it wouldn't be like that."

In her heart, she already understood that just as he didn't deliberately flaunt his scholarly side in front of her, she hadn't displayed her past skills either. It wasn't due to any lingering shadows but simply because they hadn't genuinely discussed it. If he truly wanted to listen, she would certainly be willing to delight him with her talents, feeling nothing akin to her time in Jin Feng Lou.

Recalling the words Hu Tao had said to her a few days ago, she reflected that perhaps her feelings had already changed beyond recognition...

Lost in her thoughts, she smiled faintly while carrying her basket as she made her way back to the small stall at the intersection. Hu Tao approached, thinking she was pleased about the century eggs.

"Miss, you should be able to sell a lot today, right?"

"Yes, the task of thirty should be no problem." But... it seemed this matter had nothing to do with Liheng, as he generally didn't associate with those scholars... She was puzzled by this. Turning to glance around, she noticed that Gu Yanzhen seemed to have already left...

"Miss, what are you looking at?"

"Ha." She smiled and shook her head, "Nothing..."

On the other hand, Gu Yanzhen returned to the tavern, encountering Shen Zishan with a complex expression.

"Zishan, do you know what the relationship is between Dexin and that stall selling century eggs?"