Threats

Ken woke up at 3 a.m. after dreaming of jumping off a building. He got out of bed to get a drink, but then he saw Citra lying on the lower bunk, foaming at the mouth. The strong smell of insecticide filled the room, and the bottle was lying on the floor, already spilled.

“Citraaaaa!!!”

Ken’s scream that morning woke everyone in the boarding house, including the owner and even nearby residents. A security guard quickly made a call, and soon an ambulance arrived to take Citra away.

“Poor thing, she’s a victim of her parents’ selfishness. They got divorced and never thought about their child’s future. Take care of her, Ken!” said the boarding house owner, thinking Citra drank the insecticide due to her parents’ issues.

Ken just nodded, his spirit shaken as he prepared to accompany Citra in the ambulance.

The incident left Ken traumatized. Fortunately, school was on summer break, or it would have caused a huge stir. Citra was hospitalized for nearly two weeks, draining Ken’s savings, which he had planned to use for transportation and meals while taking the policewoman entrance exam. But now, even hearing the word “police” scared him, as he was afraid Citra might attempt suicide again.

Ken eventually gave up his dream of becoming a policewoman. He promised Citra that he would only take college or courses that kept him in Jakarta.

“Thank you, Ken…” Citra said, hugging him.

But it seemed that Citra wasn’t satisfied with just scaring Ken once. When Ken started college, Citra also felt that Ken had no time for her.

“You’re always busy! Busy, busy, busy! Does studying engineering mean no breaks? Even when you’re back at the boarding house, you’re still busy. Don’t you have time to hang out?” Citra yelled.

“I have a lot of assignments, Citra. I’m a new student; please understand. Don’t keep blaming me. I’m in college, not high school. Please, Citra!” Ken complained.

“Fine, but don’t stop me from going out with others.”

“Fine, do whatever makes you happy.”

“You’ve changed, Ken!”

“Citra, for heaven’s sake, stop acting like a child who—”

“Enough, Ken!”

Citra grabbed her bag and stormed out of the boarding house room without a word. She was annoyed. Ken seemed truly unavailable for her, even when he was busy studying inside the boarding house with all his drawing tools and other materials that Citra didn’t understand.

What’s the point of being around but barely talking? While Ken was Citra’s whole world, Citra had no close friends, only Ken. To her, Ken was her family.

The pressure of attending the elite public high school, SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta, made it difficult for her to keep up. Citra was one of the more socially isolated students. She wasn’t in student council, didn’t have a friend group, didn’t hang out with the popular crowd at the nearby cafeteria, and couldn’t match the lifestyle of students from more affluent backgrounds. The only thing that kept her in the spotlight was her beauty as Damar’s ex, a young actor, and vague rumors about her being “different” because she was close to Ken.

In high school, Ken was popular for being active in student council. She managed her time well between studying, organizing, and resting. Ken was in the science track, while Citra was in the social studies track. Ken was known for her academic achievements, while Citra nearly fainted just from having to retake tests. Most students at the school were highly ambitious, actively participating in activities while competing for high rankings. Citra, who used to be a top student in middle school, felt insignificant in high school.

When Ken graduated, the pressure on Citra intensified. She felt truly friendless in school. Everyone seemed to be part of tight-knit friend groups, cliques so inseparable that they seemed like stickers stuck with glue. For someone like Citra, who was more solitary, the isolation became even more overwhelming.

Especially since Ken became busy with college, Citra’s finances worsened. They no longer had time to sell things together, and Ken sometimes couldn’t give her allowance because her own college needs were significant. Ken was attending an expensive private college, funded by her father, while her mother only gave a small allowance that sometimes wasn’t enough to share with Citra.

“I thought you’d be happy at that school,” said Vincent when Citra visited him at his house. “It’s a top public school. Although I heard everyone there is super ambitious. Studying is like a basic need. Great for those who aim to enter prestigious public universities. Not for me, who’s lazy and always has stomach issues.”

Citra didn’t respond, just looked at her old house, now occupied by someone else. It looked the same, except more beautiful with a newly added flower garden.

“Dad said the buyer of the house worked at Pertamina,” said Citra, turning around to sit across from Vincent on a garden bench.

“That was a while ago; it was sold again last year.”

“Oh, really? To whom?”

“Damar.”

Citra’s heart sank. “What? How?”

Vincent laughed. “Why not? The guy has tons of money. His movies are all hits, and he’s into music now, with an album coming out soon. He’s in a lot of commercials too.”

Citra stayed silent, not interested in hearing any of it. At school, she was already sick of hearing her classmates talk about Damar’s recent achievements. She had no interest at all; memories of Damar still haunted her.