A lullaby

Chapter Thirteen

Esther

I got up from the wheelchair and steadied myself on the ground with the support of my cane,

After the accident, I had eight years ago almost rendered me paralyzed waist down I refused to go to the hospital for therapy and treatments.

I wanted death to take me away so I could be with Owen; sometimes I look at Emily and see how strong she is and I realize maybe it was my fault.

When Owen died I wasn't strong for her, I was crying and I was at my lowest but then she was the one comforting me.

It got so bad my sister Kate had to travel from Illinois so she can look after Emily. I felt useless with Owen, he was like my better half.

But I guess time heals wounds. I realized I couldn't continue sulking on what had happened. I needed to move forward.

Ever since then, I have been visiting the hospital now and then , and now I can stand on my feet with the support of my cane but I can't stand for long, so I still have to be in a wheelchair till my spinal cord has healed completely.

I tapped my cane lightly against the tiled floor, the sound echoing faintly in the hospital corridor as I turned to Emily. She was still chatting with Maeve, I could tell they missed each other. They have both been close since they were little even though Emily was a little older than Maeve still they got along so well.

 "Hi Emmy," I called out, keeping my tone soft. " Why don't you and Maeve go to the cafe downstairs? I think you both will love a cup of ice cream or something."

Emily glanced at me and then at Maeve her brow arched," Are you sure you would be alright by yourself?"

She stared at me intensely, she knew I despised Gianna and she was looking out for me but I needed to have a word with Gianna in private not involving the children.

"Yes I will be fine love," I said with a smile on my face. "You two go have fun and catch up on lost times, I will meet you later." I turned to Maeve. " It's nice to see you again Maeve!"

Maeve chuckled," Good to see you too Ma'am," she grabbed Emily's hands excitedly." Let's go! I saw a candy shop in front of the cafe." She said smiling at Emily, who nodded back.

"Okay, let's do this!"Emily responded and they walked away, their laughter fading down the hall. I took a deep breath and turned to Gianna, who stood adjacent to me, observing me from head to toe. For some reason, she was smiling, but not a good smile, it was a taunting type of smile. 

"Hi Gianna," I began," Shall we walk together, my appointment is in twenty minutes."

Gianna crossed her arm across her chest and smiled at me." Of course, why not!" She muttered, staring down the hallway like she was going to meet her death.

Her hands were resting on her hips now and her eyes weren't meeting mine.

We headed to the elevator in silence, not one of us saying a word to each other and I couldn't help but feel the tension radiating in the atmosphere. I decided to break the silence, if we were going to walk together, we should have a little conversation so things wouldn't be awkward.

"Tell me, what are you doing here Gianna? You aren't injured like me, so I don't see why you should be here with Maeve," I asked casually, watching my words carefully trying not to sound accusatory, rather I wanted the conversation to flow freely.

She swallowed hard and stared at me, before quickly looking away. " oh, I'm fine, I just came to buy meds. Nothing serious!"

I arched my brow in curiosity, I knew something was off and she was not being totally honest but I didn't press. " okay, I thought you were sick or something,"

She shook her head immediately," Of course not, I am well, it's just for emergencies, you know, stocking up so I won't be caught unaware."

Something in her tone didn't sit right, but I nodded anyway. "That sounds good. I was just trying to  make sure you are okay." 

Gianna's steps slowed, and she tilted her head, studying me. "And I said I am fine, you should be worried about your health, I am able and well, standing strong, what about you? Why are you here?"

I let out a sigh, tapping my cane again as we approached the elevator. "I told you earlier, leg therapy. Twice a week. You know how it is."

She burst into uncontrollable laughter," I'm sorry I don't know how it is."

I was irritated by this act but I managed to suppress my irritation. " It's all good!"

She soon stopped laughing and her smile changed into a serious look, "I'm so sorry for laughing, it just sounded funny to me,"

"No offense taken!"

Her lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, I thought she might let the topic drop. But as we stepped into the elevator, she asked, "Why is Robert always coming over to your place late  at night?"

Her question hit me like a sledgehammer, it was unexpected that I was stunned for a moment trying to process what I had just heard. " I don't understand? "

"I'm sure you do," she said leaning against the elevator wall. " He has been missing dinner because he prefers your meal showing up late at home. I know it seems weird but I want to know what's happening."

I stared at her, shocked at her accusations." Firstly, Robert only comes once in a while and it's nothing personal Gianna, he is my late husband's brother, nothing can ever happen," I assured trying to keep my voice steady. " He only comes to update me on how things are going in the company. That is all."

Gianna raised an eyebrow like she didn't believe a word I said. "Really?" she said, dragging the word out like I was telling a lie.

"Yes, really," I said sternly, holding her gaze. "Why would you even think there's something more to it?"

She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but I could see her break, I could read through her insecurities, she was trying to act tough but this question she had asked just made her vulnerable and hysterical. "Trust me, I'm not accusing you of anything, Esther. I'm just... worried about him, he is my husband after all and I love him so much, it's just that he has been distant lately, Robert is going through a lot. And he doesn't talk to me about any of it, I don't know how to help him."

Her voice softened in the last sentence, and for a moment, I saw the defenselessness beneath her usual confidence she wore. And then I realized, she wasn't trying to pick a fight. She was scared and looking out for her husband.

I muffled my tone. "Gianna, nothing is going on between Robert and me. I promise. He's just trying to manage everything with the company, and now that Emily is back, the burden will ease a little. Things will get better, I promise you."

Gianna scanned me for a moment, then nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Yeah. You're probably right. I just... overthink sometimes, you know?"

I smiled back, happy the tension in the  air was starting to clear."You don't need to explain yourself, we all overthink things, it's normal, don't worry about it okay?"

Gianna smiled at me and immediately the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. We stepped out and I stared at a door a few steps from where I was. "I would love to continue our discussion but, I've got to head to my session. Will you be okay?"

Gianna smiled at me then she nodded. " Yes, I will be okay, I will just grab the meds and look for Maeve so we can head back home."

"Okay that's nice, please would you be a darling and tell Emily that  I'm in Ward 57 on the second floor."

"Of course, I will."

She turned to leave but something kept telling me something wasn't right. 

Why was she so hesitant about Maeve spending time with Emily? They were close cousins after all.

I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it.

*

*

I'm inside the therapy room, and the physical therapist is there to guide me through the exercises but my mind is burdened by something else.

Gianna, images of her facial expression, when she threw questions at me concerning Robert, made me feel some kind of way.

Although she gave reasons for asking, I still felt there was more to it.

She wasn't just here for meds, she could send her workers to get the drugs yet she went by herself.

And she wasn't just worried about Robert.

We all knew their marriage wasn't a peaceful one.

And then there was Maeve. She looked so scared when we first bumped into each other, Gianna was dragging her by the arm.

"Focus, Esther," the therapist said, jolting me out of my reverie.

"Sorry!" I said softly, shutting my eyes tight as he walked his hands on my thigh.

He was right, I needed to stop thinking and just focus.

At least for now.