Chapter 35. The Line Between Life and Loss

"Hmmm…" Ayaka crossed her arms, deep in thought. 

"I'll sleep on the floor." Akihiko said, his usual cool demeanor unwavering. 

She blinked at him before shrugging. "Alright then. It's settled."

Ayaka pulled out a spare futon, placing it beside her bed. The small space in her room made it feel even more cramped, but she didn't mind. 

"There! All good!" She beamed, climbing onto her bed as Akihiko lay down on the futon, his arms folded behind his head. 

Her king-sized bed felt absurdly big compared to the tiny futon. It didn't sit right with her, but she kept quiet. 

"I'm turning off the lights now. Good night, Akihiko!" she said softly. 

"Good night." Came his quiet reply. 

Silence settled between them, warm and peaceful. 

But after a few minutes… 

Ayaka shifted. "I need to use the bathroom…" she whispered, carefully slipping out of bed. She tiptoed around Akihiko, mindful not to disturb him. 

When she returned, she climbed back just as cautiously. 

An hour passed...

Once again, she stirred. 'Not again...' With a sigh, she quietly moved, following the same routine. 

But this time— 

**THUD!** 

"AHH!"

Akihiko's sharp cry broke the stillness. 

Ayaka's breath hitched. "I-I'm so sorry!" she gasped, instantly kneeling beside him. 

Akihiko sat up, rubbing his chest with a slight wince. His eyes, tired but patient, met hers. "This isn't working."

He turned, glancing at the futon, then at her bed, then back at her. His meaning was clear. 

Ayaka swallowed. "T-together?" Her face burned at the mere suggestion. 

Akihiko exhaled, his voice softer this time. "The bed is big enough for both of us. I'll sleep near the wall, so you won't have to worry about stepping on me."

Her heart pounded. They had already slept together on the sofa last night, but somehow… tonight felt different. 

Akihiko gazed at her, his voice dipping into something deeper. "Do you trust me?"

Ayaka's breath caught. His words held no ulterior motive, no teasing—just quiet sincerity. 

She knew why he said it. He was still shaken from what happened the other day. He just wanted to be close. 

She lowered her gaze, nodding. "Fine. But I'm putting a pillow between us." 

Akihiko's lips twitched into a rare smile. "Roger that."

She hurriedly placed the pillow, making sure it was a solid barrier. As they both settled in, Ayaka reached toward Akihiko's side to grab her blanket—only for him to suddenly pull her toward him. 

"A-Akihiko?!" she squeaked, her breath catching as she found herself beneath him.

His strong arms caged her in, his blue eyes holding hers captive. 

His voice was low, teasing but with a warmth that sent shivers through her. "You forgot to sing me to sleep."

Her heart pounded wildly. 'Damn it! Why did he have to say things like that?!'

"F-fine! What song do you want?!" she huffed, trying to mask the fact that she was melting inside. 

Akihiko smirked. "The one you sang at your performance."

She scowled, her cheeks burning. "O-okay! Now let me go already!" 

He chuckled, finally releasing her. "I can't help it." he admitted softly, "You're too cute. It makes me want to tease you more."

Ayaka turned away, hiding her face in frustration. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, then began singing. 

"To our dear heroes…"

Her voice filled the room, delicate yet powerful, carrying all the emotions she had poured into that performance.

As she reached the last verse, she turned her gaze toward Akihiko—only to find him already asleep. 

A soft, affectionate smile tugged at her lips. 

Then, in a whisper, she murmured, "I knew what you meant earlier… but just once, can you lie and tell me you actually want to be with me?" 

A pause. 

Then, so quietly she almost missed it, his voice murmured—"That part was always the truth."

Ayaka's breath caught. "W-what? Did you say something?"

No answer. 

She turned to him, but he remained still, his back to her. 

She sighed, shaking her head. "He's already asleep, Ayaka. As if he'd actually hear you."

With a soft groan, she buried her face in her pillow. 

Meanwhile, Akihiko—still facing the wall—was very much awake. Then... he smiled.

-----

The next morning, as the first rays of sunlight filtered through the curtains, Akihiko slowly opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was Ayaka, sleeping peacefully beside him, her face turned in his direction.

Her soft breathing was rhythmic, her expression serene, untouched by the worries of the world.

His gaze lingered on her, studying the delicate features of her face.

The gentle rise and fall of her chest, the way her long lashes rested against her skin—it was a rare, intimate moment, one he never thought he would experience.

Noticing a stray strand of hair falling across her cheek, Akihiko instinctively reached out. With a feather-light touch, he tucked it behind her ear, careful not to wake her.

She stirred slightly but remained in her slumber.

He allowed himself a small smile before silently slipping out of bed to prepare for the day ahead.

An hour later…

Ayaka stirred, slowly blinking awake. The warmth of the sheets still clung to her, but the space beside her was empty.

Her brows furrowed for a moment before her sleepy eyes caught sight of a neatly folded note left on the table.

She sat up, rubbing her eyes before reaching for the note. Akihiko's familiar handwriting greeted her:

"Thank you for letting me stay. I'm off to work now. I'm still scared, but I'll be okay. Breakfast is on the table. I can't cook as well as you, and I've never cooked for someone before, but I hope you like it. – Akihiko"

A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she hugged the note to her chest. Warmth bloomed within her—who would have thought that the ever-distant Ice Prince would open up to her like this?

With an eager heart, she made her way to the kitchen, and her eyes widened when she saw the breakfast he had prepared. She stood still for a moment, taking it all in.

"I'm the first person he's ever cooked for..." The thought sent a thrill of joy through her, making her heartbeat quicken.

Wasting no time, she plopped down at the table and eagerly picked up one of the rice balls. She took a bite—then froze.

"No way..."

She quickly reread his note, her eyes narrowing at the part where he claimed he wasn't a good cook.

"What kind of nonsense is this?!" she muttered before taking another bite, then another.

A beat passed before she practically shouted, "DAMN IT, AKIHIKO! YOU COOK WAY BETTER THAN ME!!!"

------

At Tokyo Medical Center…

Akihiko sat at his desk, reviewing patient files when a familiar figure passed by his office window. His eyes snapped up, and without hesitation, he stood, pushing his chair back.

"Dr. Yamamoto!" Akihiko called out.

Kei turned at the sound of his name, flashing a friendly yet curious smile. "Well, if it isn't Dr. Nakamura. How are you feeling now?"

Akihiko hesitated for a moment before stepping closer. His usual composed demeanor wavered slightly as he took a deep breath.

"Dr. Yamamoto… I have a request..." he said, his voice quieter than usual. "Can you allow me to be your assistant in future surgeries for a while?"

Kei's eyes widened in shock.

"What?" he blurted out, taken aback. "Dr. Nakamura, you're one of the best. I chose you specifically because I know your potential. That's why I'm training you hands-on!"

Akihiko clenched his fists at his sides. "I know… but I think I'm just not ready to lead."

Kei's expression shifted from surprise to concern. "Not ready? How do you expect to be independent if you don't take charge of surgeries? That's the whole point of this training."

Akihiko exhaled slowly, his shoulders dropping slightly. "I can perform the procedure, but…" He hesitated, his voice thick with emotion.

"It's what comes after that's difficult. I keep seeing the face of that child—the one who was so excited about his new kidneys. He should have lived longer." He looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. "But he didn't."

Kei's expression softened. He had seen this before—brilliant young doctors grappling with the weight of loss for the first time.

"Dr. Nakamura..." he said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We're doctors, not magicians. We don't hold the power to erase illness. We do what we can—prolong life, ease suffering—but we don't decide fate. That child… his body just couldn't keep up anymore. It wasn't your fault."

Akihiko swallowed hard, absorbing Kei's words. The logical part of him knew that.

But knowing and accepting were two different things.

Kei sighed before giving him a reassuring pat. "Alright. I'll give you a month. But after that, you're back to leading the surgical team."

Relief flooded Akihiko's face as he bowed respectfully. "Thank you, Dr. Yamamoto. I appreciate it."

Kei nodded before walking past him, leaving Akihiko standing there, deep in thought.

One month. That was all the time he had to find the strength to step forward again.