Lives hanging in a balance

"Wh… Wh.. What.. What do you…" Gandhari stammered, after a few minutes. She was still as a statue. She was stone cold, and felt as if her insides had been forcefully torn out of her body.

She must have misheard… They must have said that Bheeshm and Dhritrashtra had been invited to attend her wedding with Veerbhadra… Shakuni had told her this very morning that she was to be married to Veerbhadra. They had accepted her choice of husband today itself!

From far away, she heard Shakuni's voice, speaking to her "… have to send him a reply by tomorrow evening."

She tried to shake off her head in an attempt to bring her back to the present and be more attentive to this discussion… Wait a minute! Things are not decided yet! There may be a change yet! She must focus now…. She really should.

"What… What reply?" She asked, nervously. "What are we going to reply?"

For a few seconds, there was absolute silence. Then Shakuni spoke, "Whatever you decide. It is your life. Whatever you choose, we all will support you."

Gandhari could hear the truth in his voice, but she could also see the look on all their faces – the look of immense fear and registration to fate. She could see clearly that they all expected her to refuse, and that they would then have to fight a war that they would surely loose. It was too much!

"So… what do you decide, sister?" asked Gaja, gently. He was a burly young man, with the kindest eyes on earth! He was someone who couldn't even kill a mosquito without a reason! Beside him stood Vrishak, her muscular, broad shouldered brother, those generally smiling face was now folded into frowns of worry. Achal was standing a few feet away from them, right beside Shakuni, and both of them looked as unhappy and worried as she herself felt. Her father, King Subal was sitting on his aasaan, just to their left, with his face buried in his hands, lost in contemplation.

Could Gandhari dare to risk the lives of so many people she loved, just for the sake of a man she had met only two or three months back? Could she risk the lives of her innocent fellow countrymen, by causing a disastrous war, just so she could marry someone that she chose?

Gandhari had always been politically well aware, and therefore, intellectually, she understood what was at stake here.

Bheeshm was the Kurushreshtha, the eldest living male member of the great and powerful Kuru clan of Hastinapur. He was the son of King Shantanu and his first wife, Ganga. He was the disciple of Lord Parshuram himself. It was said that, for the sake of his father's marriage to his lady love, the famous beauty Matsyagandha (also known as Satyavati), he had voluntarily taken the vow of lifetime celibacy, forever denounced his claim to the throne of Hastinapur, and vowed to serve only as caretaker to the same for as long as he lived. It was only due to this that Chitrangad, the eldest of the two sons Shantanu had with his second wife, Satyavati, was crowned King of Hastinapur, even though it was obvious that Bheeshm would have been a better candidate for the same. It was also the reason why, after Chitrangad died without having married, Vichitraveerya, the youngest son of Shantanu, was made the King of Hastinapur. It was also said that when the King of Kaashi did not invite Hastinapur to the Swayamvar of his three beautiful daughters, Amba, Ambika, and Ambalika, Bheeshm saw this as an insult to Hastinapur, after having single-handedly defeating the Kaashi King's army, kidnapped all the three princesses, and forcefully brought them to Hastinapur, to be made Vichitraveerya's wives.

Gandhari had heard that Amba, the eldest of the three princesses, was in love with Shalv, the King of Saubal, and therefore requested Bheeshm to return her to her intended, to whom she had promised herself. Bheeshm had obliged. However, Shalv had refused to accept Amba as his wife, owing to the fact that he had lost the fight with Bheeshm to stop her kidnap, and therefore Bheeshm was the one who now 'owned' her. Then she returned to Bheeshm, disheartened from the rejection, and asked his to be her groom as per the scriptures, since he was the one who won her over in the war, and not his brother, Vichitraveerya. Bheeshm, predictably refused, and then sent her back to her father, the King of Kaashi. However, even her father refused to accept her back, as she had been kidnapped and won over during her Swayamvar ceremony, and therefore was not her father's 'property' anymore, and that now she was 'owned' by Bheeshm. With her heart was burning in anger, she had once again returned to Bheeshm, just on the day that her sisters were being married to Vichitraveerya. She again asked Bheeshm to marry her for the sake of saving her honour, quoting the scriptures, and begging him to understand, but he, again, refused to marry her, point blank, stating his vow of lifetime celibacy. He again offered her marriage to his younger brother Vichitraveerya, but she refused, stating that if he could not accept her as his wife then he should never have kidnapped them from her Swayamvar. She cursed him for spoiling her life and, vowing revenge, left the place. She was never heard of, again.

While Ambika and Ambalika married Vichitraveerya, they also never returned to visit their father, the King of Kaashi, as the sight of them served only as a reminder of his crushing defeat during the Swayamvar. From what Gandhari had heard from the gossips, the two Kaashi Princesses, who had very soon become widows, were deeply unhappy in their short marriage, and had been childless at the time of Vichitraveerya's death. It was said that the Queen Mother Satyavati had forced both of them so practice Niyog so that the Kuru dynasty could carry on. Niyog was a practice of sleeping with someone, who was not your husband, with the sole purpose of conceiving. The partner for Niyog was chosen by the elders of the family. For this, Satyavati had choosen Rishi Vyas, a very well known Rishi, who also happened to be her own son, whom she had begotten out of wedlock, well before her marriage to King Shantanu.

It was perhaps the shock of having been kidnapped and forcefully married a very sick man. Or maybe it was the ultimate insult of having been made a subject of Niyog, without them ever actually having wanted it, Whatever might be the reason, but the truth was that from the moment they were kidnapped right down to this day, the two Kashi Princesses had never been seen smiling and laughing by anyone.

And all of this happened only because one person decided that not being invited to a Swayamvar was some kind of insult to his 'great' Hastinapur and his 'great' Kuru lineage. The man was an egoist! It was almost certain that if offer of marriage to his nephew is refused, he would construe it as a direct insult to his country and his lineage, and will probably wage a war against Gandhaar.

If the marriage deal was accepted, then it was sure that the prestige of the Gandhaar kingdom would go up. It would also mean that the aggressive countries like Magadh, or Mathura, would think twice before attacking an ally of the powerful Hastinapur kingdom. Such kind of alliances, formed by way of marriage deals, were quite common, and were considered the most strongest of all.

On the other hand, marriage of a blind prince was like an insult. It was common knowledge that with such a handicap, he could never be considered for being made the King of Hastinapur, even though he was the eldest son, despite being healthy in all the other aspects. In his place, his younger brother, Pandu, his sickly looking, yellowish tinged, weak-minded brother, was crowned King. In order to perhaps avoid the same situation of uncertainty, as had arisen in the case of Vichitraveerya's demise, Bheeshm wanted his nephews to be wed quickly. However, there was a problem in the plan. Dhritrashtra was the eldest and was therefore supposed to be the first one to be married. However, no King wanted to marry their daughter to the blind prince, who could never become the King of Hastinapur.

Dhritrashtra was a burly, ill tempered, frustrated young man. He was average looking, but well-built, and was an expert in Malla-yudhha, a form of hand to hand combat, which required a lot of power and speed. However, the word on the street was that he was extremely disrespectful towards ladies in general and the female servants in particular. Gandhari had heard that both of Bheeshm's nephews, Dhritrashtra as well as Pandu, often forced the servants to serve them on bed, though no one would dare to say the same in public, as Hastinapur was a very powerful kingdom.

Gandhari was doubtful that Bheeshm did not know about this particular trait of his own nephew. She guessed that he perhaps belonged to the school of thought where it was believed that men change their wayward ways once they get married. She did not agree to this thought at all. A person who has these habits would hardly change just because he or she got married. It was a question of moral compass which they lacked, and that could never be instilled in a person simply by marrying him or her off! 

Gandhari then thought of Veerbhadra, and his gentle and respectful ways, and of his loving, close knit family, and her heart clenched. He was the of person who would make an ideal husband – caring, gentle, smiling, loving, responsible….

She shook her head. This was not a matter of her personal preference anymore. It was a question of survival of her family, her father's kingdom, and her subjects. She took a deep calming breath, weighing her options.

Refusing would mean the destruction of everything she held dear. War would inevitably occur, causing the armies to go to battle, which would include her brave army general Veerbhadra too. There would obviously be casualties. Since Hastinapur's army was much more powerful than Gandhaar's, so it was obvious that Gandhaar would loose. And since her Veerbhadra was a very brave army general, it was obvious that he would fight the war till his last breath, which meant he would die in the war. Her brothers too. And maybe even her father… How would she be able to forgive herself after this?

A sudden thought struck her. What if she just ended her life?

She immediately discarded it. No. That would sound like a refusal to Bheeshm, and would result in war, same as her refusal.

Accepting, on the other hand, would mean she would have to spend her entire remaining life with a man whom she did not love, and who she did not even like. She did not expect Dhritrashtra to treat her any different than how he treated the other females – with contempt and disrespect. How would she live her life with such a man?...

She contemplated for a long time. Then said, addressed for father, "O King of Gandhaar! Please request Bheeshm to meet me in the evening before you give him your decision."

"M.. Meet you, dear?" stammered Subal. "Whatever for?"

"Before accepting the marriage proposal, I want to put a few conditions to him. If he is agreeable to the same, I shall accept the proposal." Her voice was devoid of any emotions.

Subal and all her brothers were stunned.

"Are you sure?" Shakuni asked, his voice laced with worry.

"Very."

A heavy silence fell in the room, with every person lost in his or her own train of thoughts. Subal was at a loss for words. He had never wanted such a fate for his darling daughter. He, too, knew Dhritrastra's reputation, and would not have wished such a husband even for his enemy. He was trying to decide whether he should tell this to his daughter right now, or let her find out the hard way…

Gaja was walking around the room in restless circles, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts, ranging from trying to analyse how long it will take to the Hastinapur's army to reach Gandhaar, to whether it was possible for them to stage an elopement in the meanwhile, before the marriage with Dhritrashtra could take place. He could not bear the thought of his sister with such an oaf….

Vrishak was sitting with his eyes closed and hand hanging down, feeling the weight of the sacrifice his sister was about to make for the make of their kingdom's safety. He knew there was no other reason that Gandhari would accept this proposal.

Achal was standing in a corner, still as a statue, not able to recover from the shock that his sister was to be married to the very man that the brothers often quoted amongst themselves as an example of what not to be. To think their gentle, caring, talented sister was to be married to that egoist fool was almost too much to bear…

Shakuni was looking intensely at his sister, as if willing her to change her decision. He knew there was actually no other choice in front of her but to accept the proposal, and yet….

Gandhari, meanwhile, was still standing in front of her father, still as a statue, and white as marble. Finally, she gathered her courage and said, "Father, there is a small request I would like to make…"

"Anything you want, my child" Subal said, smiling at her sadly. Then, noting her hesitation, he prompted, "Well?"

"Mmm… Father… If Bheeshm accepts my conditions, and my marriage with Dhritrashtra is fixed, then I would like to meet with Veerbhadra one last time, before my marriage."

Subal nodded, "So be it."

Gandhari let out a heavy sigh, and then asked King Subal for permission to return to her quarters, which he gave immediately.

Gandhari turned around mechanically and moved out of the room. Her feet dragged her back to her quarters as if on their own, and she suddenly found herself standing in front of her quarters. Once inside, her hard outer shell of emotionless logic broke apart, and starting crying, bitter tears falling down her cheeks and onto her pillows, as she nearly fell into her bed almost losing control of her body and her emotions….

***

"Why could you not say no? Or simply elope with Veerbhadra?" Chitragupta asked curiously. "That why Duryodhan would never have been born and there would have been no Great War!"

"If only things were that simple!" Gandhari gave a bitter laugh. Then she said, in a serious tone, "It would not have mattered what I chose. If I had indeed eloped with Veerbhadra, what would I have gained except a few days with him? Once the news of my elopement would have reached Bheeshm, he would have immediately launched a search and 'rescue' for me, so that I could be obtained for his nephew. He would have treated the news as an insult to his clan and his country, and would have launched a war that would have destroyed all of Gandhaar… Veerbhadra, too, would have not been able to watch the destruction idly. He would have joined the war too, and would have been killed in it, along with nearly my whole family and half my father's kingdom…And then, I would have had to bear the insult of being captured in the name of being 'rescued', and then then would have to marry Dhritrashtra anyway!" She finished bitterly.

Chitragupta looked stunned at the response. He had not expected such a a well reasoned answer from Gandhari. He glanced at Yam, and saw that that he was not surprised by the answer. Yam knew Gandhari had thought and rethought about her decision of that day, for the rest of her living days. He knew how much she had wished for a different ending to her love story…

***