Chapter 4: I like the rain

Chapter 4: I like the rain 

I woke up this morning feeling like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. I felt better than I had in months, maybe even years, even though nothing special had happened.

Eliza was doing Ola's hair, and Bethany and Ren were playing Spearhead on the empty bed we had in the dorm.

The dorms could house six people. The small room was cramped with three old bunk beds, an antique chest filled with clothes, and a window on the far side with a view of the backyard. The walls needed a fresh coat of paint, and the ceiling had an old, wonky fan with only two of its three blades still mounted. I shared the room with Ren, Ola, Eliza, and Bethany. With one vacant bed, we used it to store clothes or anything else. The five of us were like a mini-family in this orphanage, having formed a bond over the years. We had known each other since birth, after all.

"Hey, guys, wanna play Spearhead with us?" Bethany said.

"Yeah, plus Maddox is finally up, so we can all play," Ren added.

Spearhead was a game taught to us to strengthen our mana manipulation. How it worked was simple enough: we all had a pouch of small stones of different sizes. The objective was to go around, one after the other, stacking the stones on top of each other to create a tower. The catch was, the stones were unstable, but with the help of magic, it was possible to pump spark into the air around the stone to balance it. The more stones you had, the more spark would be needed to hold them up.

The tricky part was that you only wanted to balance your stone—not anyone else's—because helping another person out meant you'd technically be aiding them in their stack.

This game was all about spark control and endurance.

The record was about 30 stones, but a bird crashed into the tower that time, so no winner was crowned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm up. We can play the game, but maybe we go outside?" I said. "I know no one uses that bed, but we should still keep it neat."

"Yeah, yeah, Dad," Bethany said dryly. "We can go play outside."

A week later...

Ren was still going on and on about winning Spearhead last week, naming himself King Ren Rock. It was a close game, but he came out on top.

"King Ren Rock is the champion! And as champion, Maddox, could you do my chores today?"

"Get Bethany or Ola to do it. It was just one game, stop dragging it," I said dryly. "Or better yet, get Isaac to do it. He'd be happy to."

I paused after realizing what I had just said.

"Isaac? Who's that?" Ren asked, confused.

"Mmmhh... I'm not sure. I don't know why I said that name," I replied, feeling a bit off.

The rest of the group looked at me. "Are you okay?" Bethany asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. I don't know why I just said that."

"Yeah, no one named Isaac even stays at the orphanage," Bethany said, laughing, but then she suddenly collapsed, clutching her head. "Ow, my head hurts so much!" she screamed. The group rushed to her side.

"Move away, give her space to breathe!" Eliza shouted, trying to clear the area. "Don't crowd her."

"Are you okay?" Eliza said, going to her side.

"No... my... My head hurts so bad. Get someone..." Eliza shouted. Ren ran out of the room to get Melinda.

Bethany passed out. She woke up a few hours later, as if nothing had happened. It was strange, but she seemed to be okay now.

A few days later…

"Hey, I'm going to head to the library," I said to Ola and Ren.

"You spend way too much time there," Ola said.

"Yeah, man, it's kinda weird."

"It's only weird because you can't read, Ren," I joked.

"Hey, I can read!" Ren said slyly.

"Yeah, for someone who wears glasses, you're not living up to the stereotype," Ola added, giggling.

"Stop, and I don't need glasses anymore. I'm cured, Maddox!" he said dismissively.

"Yeah, sure," I said sarcastically. "And you're looking at Ola," I added.

I found myself at the library a lot lately. It was my peaceful place, after all.

I was examining the codex, trying to decipher its runes, but I made no progress.

"Tell me something useful for once," I muttered, frustrated. "You and your words... everything is so ambiguous with you. It's annoying."

I'd been in a bad mood lately, ever since Bethany's incident. I always felt like I was forgetting something.

All the codex kept repeating was the same thing: You are lost. Nothing more, nothing less. This had gone on for a while now.

A month later...

I saw Bethany sitting outside on a bench. The weather was windy, and the skies were gray.

"Nice weather to be reading outside," I said sarcastically.

She looked up and smiled weakly. "Hi, Maddox."

"I had a question. I found this book in the library. Have you ever seen it before?" I asked, handing her the book.

She examined it and frowned. "No, I've never seen it, but look at all these runes and this language. It's so strange. I can't read a single word of it."

"Yeah, that's what I expected."

"Sorry I couldn't be much help, Maddox," she said.

"No, don't worry about it. It's dumb," I replied.

I decided to leave it there. I didn't want her thinking I was crazy, talking to books now.

"How have you been feeling lately?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

She giggled. "Wow, Maddox, really? That's the best you've got?"

"What? I'm just concerned."

"It's okay. I get you. I've been alright," she said, smiling, but I could tell she was lying.

"What about you, hospital boy? How are you doing?"

I ignored her joke. "I've been good, too... just... I feel... well, never mind. I'm fine."

"Yeah, I've seen Melinda's been extra focused on your magic training lately. She sees a lot of potential in you," she said, giggling.

"Yeah, that hag is gonna kill me with the way she's been training me," I said jokingly.

Bethany giggled again.

"What about your headaches? Are they still happening?" I asked.

"Well, only sometimes. But I'll be okay," she said, looking down. "It's just…"

I could tell something was bothering her. I just didn't know if it was my place to ask.

"So why are you out here in this type of weather?" I asked.

"I like the rain," she said. "I feel like when the wind blows really intensely or when lightning strikes really loudly, that's the way the world releases its frustration, shouting loudly, its presence felt by everyone. It reminds me that it's okay to be a little frustrated sometimes."

"You're frustrated about something?" I asked.

"Yeah, a little bit. I sometimes feel like I'm forgetting something or someone so important to me, but I can't ever remember their face or name. Then my head hurts so much, as if it's punishing me for forgetting."

But then I remembered that name you said that day, Maddox. Isaac, she said.

I knew him. I feel like I've known that name all my life, but who is he?" she said as tears began falling from her eyes.

"I feel like I'm a monster. What kind of person forgets something so important to them? How was I able to freely smile when I'd forgotten the most precious person to me? How could I forget…" She paused, as if she was trying so very hard to remember something.

"How can I forget my… how can I forget my own brother like that?" she burst out, crying harder than I'd ever seen before.

In that moment, it all came back to me—a flash of memories that felt as if they had been locked away. Memories of all of us—all six of us. It was always six, not five. It was always all of us. The thunderstorms that we hid from by making forts out of our blankets. The games of Spearhead and Hot Pocket. The laughs, the cries, the fights, and the days we spent together—all came rushing in.

Then Eliza... and all she had told me—the cabin with the red door. Ethan… everything shot through my mind. What was happening? How could I have forgotten all of that? I sat there, mouth wide open, as tears fell from my eyes.

"Yes," I said, "I was lost… how… Ethan? Isaac? They were real! How did I forget?"

The book pulsated with magic, locked in my locker. As I released it, it plopped open to an empty page. Now you are found, it wrote.

Was this Magnus's doing? It all came back to me—the flash of light that night.

At that moment, Eliza ran out to me, tears in her eyes too. I could tell she remembered too.

If this was Magnus's doing… no, this was his doing. That was the only logical explanation.

Magnus's spell wasn't perfect. It had cracks in it. Completely taking away people's memories? That can't be easy. Once one crack formed, the whole spell would collapse on itself.

Seeing Bethany in so much pain was hard to watch. Yet, I didn't know how to help her. Seeing her like this made me angry.

But I was thankful to her. She helped me find myself again.

I leaned in and hugged Bethany.

"I know it's hard not being able to explain things sometimes, but never blame yourself for how you feel. Scream and shout back at the world if it makes you feel better. It's hard to explain why our bodies do what they do, but I know you are a kind person, the furthest thing from a monster. So never call yourself that."

She hugged me back as she cried. A few moments passed before she let go.

"Isaac was real, and I will find him," I assured her. "I will. I swear on my life, he's not gone. That's impossible."