Chapter 2

Xiyan's Perspective.

I suddenly sat upright on my bed as I struggled to breath. Both my neck and back were trickled with sweat as I panted, just to feel the satisfaction of the refreshing air travelling through my lungs. This wasnt the first time my anxiety disturbed me in the midst of my slumber, and this surely wasnt the last. My anxious thoughts that poured inside my head like a ceaseless storm was always expected to trouble my breathing. My panic attacks were a condition of mine that only me and my family were aware of. I've been experiencing my attacks at the tender age of 9, after my father's death. His death was the sole reason why this all started and also, why I refused to return to the beach.

My father died from a car crash on our way home from our summer vacation, which we spent at the beach. Ever since that day, I never went back. Just the sight of the beach always brought fear to my heart.

The after math of the incident was torment to my heart. Since my father was the one driving, only me and my mother, who were seated at the back, were saved. The impact of the collision was mainly focused on my father, who was the most injured of the three of us. He was immediately brought to the hospital, where we met the devastating news of his death. He wouldnt stop bleeding and the paramedics who treated him already knew that his wounds were fatal. Then, a few hours later, he died of the suffocating pain he had failed to bear. I was still young then and it greatly affected my mental health. My father was the one person who took my side no matter the situation. He was their whenever I needed someone. Unlike my mother, every time I was mistaken, he would comfort me in the most reassuring voice that everyhing would be alright and that my mistakes could be undone. However, I'm afraid that his death was one crucial mistake that couldnt be fixed.

Meanwhile, the offender, a drunkard who had been tipsy as he drove, was immediately sentenced to several years in jail for defying traffic rules, which definitley included his DUI, and vehicular manslaughter.

My mother was promised to be slowly compensated by the man's family, but even I, as a child knew that nothing would be enough to compensate the price of my father's life.

As time passed, I became depressed. I wasnt entirely alone since I still had the presence of my mother. But unlike my father, she was usually to busy to be with me, especally after his death. So most days, I usually came home in solitude, enduring the tormenting sounds of silence within our home. It was suffocating at first. But as I grew older, I managed to be accustomed to the solitude that befell me. Later on, when I started High School, I befriended many, distracting me from my loneliness. But, though I managed to overcome my deppression, my anxiety still remained. Though ,it wasnt as severe as it was before, it still was a bother.

Feeling tight in the chest, I stood up to easen my condition. Glancing at the clock, I decided to get ready for school.