21: Heart That Betrays

Fool for you..

———

Shen Qingqiu flew through the sky,

the wind rushing past him, his thoughts in complete chaos.

His hands clenched tightly around Xiu Ya's hilt, but no matter how far he flew, no matter how much distance he put between himself and Luo Binghe—

His heart would not settle.

It was still pounding.

Still beating too fast. Still aching with a feeling he didn't want to name.

His mind screamed at him.

This is wrong. This is dangerous.

But his heart—

his traitorous, foolish heart—had other ideas.

He could still feel Binghe's warmth. Still hear his voice, broken and desperate.

"Do you hate me that much?"

Shen Qingqiu squeezed his eyes shut.

That question. That pain.

Luo Binghe wasn't supposed to cry.

He wasn't supposed to sound so small. So fragile. So… real.

Shen Qingqiu hated this.

Hated that his chest tightened at the memory.

Hated that his fingers twitched, as if they wanted to reach back.

Hated that his heart was beating for Luo Binghe.

He gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus.

This was just a mistake.

A temporary weakness.

A moment of hesitation.

Nothing more.

It had to be nothing more.

Because if he admitted that his heart had already fallen—

Then there would be no escaping Luo Binghe ever again.

—

Shen Qingqiu sat cross-legged in a secluded forest clearing, arms folded, expression grim.

He had escaped. Successfully. With speed and grace.

…And yet, for some unfathomable reason, his heart was still misbehaving.

It thudded against his ribs like it had decided, Yes, let's betray our owner today. Let's make him suffer.

"Utter nonsense," he muttered, pressing a hand to his chest as if that would somehow make the problem go away.

Unfortunately, his heart continued its rebellion.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Shen Qingqiu groaned. "Ridiculous. I ran. I left him behind. Why am I still—"

A memory rudely interrupted.

Luo Binghe's tear-filled eyes.

His soft, broken voice: 'Do you hate me that much?'

Shen Qingqiu slapped a hand over his face.

"Ugh. No, stop that. We are not entertaining this."

He clearly needed a distraction.

Yes. Cultivation. Meditation.

Spiritual enlightenment.

Shen Qingqiu took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and—

Immediately saw Luo Binghe's face again.

Except this time, in his cursed imagination, Binghe looked even more pitiful.

Tear-streaked cheeks. Quivering lips. Eyes shining with painful devotion.

Shen Qingqiu's traitorous brain went a step further and added drizzling rain for extra dramatic effect.

He bolted upright.

"No. Absolutely not. I refuse to be in a tragic romance drama."

A squirrel nearby chittered at him. Shen Qingqiu shot it a glare.

"What are you looking at? You think this is funny?"

The squirrel twitched its little nose.

It absolutely thought this was funny.

Shen Qingqiu buried his face in his hands. "This is an all-time low. I'm arguing with a rodent because of Luo Binghe."

And the worst part?

He already knew that he wouldn't be able to stay away.

No matter how far he ran, no matter how many times he told himself it was a mistake, Shen Qingqiu knew—deep down, where his heart still refused to obey reason—that he would return to Luo Binghe.

It was inevitable.

He had been running from Binghe for what felt like an eternity, yet every time the distance between them grew, the pull only grew stronger. The longing, the ache, the undeniable gravity that kept drawing him back in, like an unrelenting force of nature.

Why? Why couldn't he just cut Binghe out of his life completely?

Shen Qingqiu stared at the ground in front of him, as though the earth itself might give him some answer, some clue as to why his own heart refused to obey his mind.

It felt as though his emotions had betrayed him in the most unforgivable way, latching onto the one person he could never allow himself to love.

The very person who had become both his salvation and his damnation.

But even as he tried to make sense of the situation, even as his mind begged him to turn away, his heart refused.

It still ached for Binghe.

It still yearned for him.

"Do you hate me that much?"

That voice. The question. It echoed in his thoughts like a death sentence.

A familiar heat curled up from his chest, spreading through his body until it reached his fingers.

He clenched his hands into fists.

He would not give in.

Not this time.

Not again.

But deep inside, there was a small, traitorous voice that whispered,

It's not hate.

It's never been hate.

Not really.

Shen Qingqiu's breath caught in his throat.

He was tired of running.

Tired of pretending.

The truth was, no matter how much he tried to lie to himself, he cared about Luo Binghe—more than he was willing to admit.

He had left, yes. He had chosen to walk away. But every step away from him was one step closer to a reality he wasn't sure he could face.

A reality where Luo Binghe's face never left his thoughts, where the weight of his absence pressed down on Shen Qingqiu's chest like an unbearable burden.

Shen Qingqiu stood up, his body stiff with frustration. He couldn't do this anymore.

He couldn't keep pretending he didn't want to go back.

"Fine," he muttered to the wind, as though it could somehow carry his words to the heavens.

"I'm a fool. But I'm a fool who can't stay away."

He turned on his heel and began walking back, each step heavier than the last.

The universe had a funny way of making sure you could never escape your own heart.

Shen Qingqiu had tried to flee, but in the end, it wasn't the physical distance that mattered.

It was the one thing he couldn't outrun:

his own feelings.

And so, he found himself moving toward the very person he knew would break him in ways he couldn't predict.

Luo Binghe.

Shen Qingqiu wasn't sure what would happen when they crossed paths again, but one thing was clear—this wasn't the end.

It was only the beginning of a new chapter, one that neither of them had asked for, but both would be forced to face.

Whether it was for better or for worse, Shen Qingqiu couldn't escape the truth.

He was already falling. And there was no turning back.