I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit [343] [30 PS]

"Why?! Why won't you save me?! Why am I the only one forgotten?! This is too much—!!"

Aqua, covered in dirt and looking like a beggar by the roadside, wailed as she clung desperately to Nero's collar, shaking it with all her strength.

Even Nero was baffled by this absurdity. She distinctly remembered Megumin's [Explosion] detonating directly above Aqua's head. Yet here Aqua was, not only unharmed but lively enough to yank on her clothes. Aside from being a bit dirty and disheveled, she looked perfectly fine.

This… doesn't make any sense!

Nero thought back to the mechanics of [Explosion].

As humanity's ultimate destructive magic, [Explosion] wasn't just about sheer power or its massive area of effect—that alone wouldn't justify its reputation as the "strongest magic."

For example, when breaking the barrier around the Demon King's castle, Megumin had claimed she could do it easily with [Light of Saber]. But if she used [Explosion], it would take at least a dozen casts to achieve the same effect.

The reason it was considered the "strongest" was its unique characteristic: [Explosion] could bypass any defense and deal damage no matter how high the enemy's resistance was. In other words, even gods or archdemons would sustain injuries from it, a feat no other magic could achieve.

So… what the hell was going on with Aqua?!

If it were Kazuma, Nero could understand. With his insane luck stat, even the most outrageous coincidences were plausible. But Aqua? She was the goddess whose misfortune could cancel out Kazuma's high luck.

What could this possibly mean? Maybe her nonexistent ancestors were smiling upon her? Wait, Aqua doesn't have ancestors. So… did Eris's divine estate catch fire or something? No, that wouldn't be enough—Eris's estate would have to be burning uncontrollably for seven days and seven nights!

Originally, Nero had intended to confront Aqua for pushing her into the path of the golden dragon's initial attack.

But… the woman had survived an [Explosion]. Maybe Nero could let it slide this time.

Besides, since Nero had forgotten about her, Aqua kind of had a point. Even as Aqua yanked on her clothes, Nero couldn't muster a solid defense.

"Umu… umu… fine. This was indeed my mistake. I apologize," Nero said.

"Apologize? Do you think you can just wave this away with an apology?! If apologies worked, why would we need police?! Don't you know that apologies should at least include kneeling and showing some cleavage?!"

Aqua's words made Nero's eyes widen in disbelief.

Aqua, are you sure you're not Kazuma in disguise, you filthy degenerate?!

"But… since I am a benevolent goddess, I'll let you off without the cleavage. Just buy me one hundred—no, two hundred bottles of bubbly wine, join the Axis Cult, offer me 10,000 Eris in tribute every day, and come with me to an Eris church every day to chant, 'Eris pads her chest!' one hundred times! Then, I might… no, wait, that's too easy. Let's add—"

Ah, there it is. This was the Aqua Nero was familiar with.

Staring blankly with dead fish eyes, Nero watched as Aqua rambled on and on, listing increasingly ludicrous demands.

When Aqua had rattled off ten conditions without any sign of stopping, Nero couldn't hold it in anymore. She removed one of her golden combat boots.

"What are you doing? Are you going to offer your shoe to me as tribute? By the way, I've been curious for a while—are your boots really made of gold? How rich are you, anyway? If I sold one of these, I could make a fortune! Wait, no, it's even better than that. This is the shoe of a beautiful girl, a heroic beauty who's defeated Demon King generals and a dragon! With a story like that, some idiot would definitely pay top dollar for it! Especially someone like Kazuma, that otaku loser. I mean, guys like him are the easiest marks—haha! I'm brilliant! Too brilliant! Sometimes, my own genius scares me!"

Nero didn't even know what her boots were made of. Judging by the metallic sheen, it could be gold… or copper, for all she knew.

Weighing the boot in her hand, she nodded. The weight was perfect.

Then, as Aqua continued her nonsensical monologue, Nero swung the boot down onto the back of Aqua's head.

Thwack!

Ah, the world was finally quiet.

---

"What?! You went dragon slaying—?!" x2

Back at their temporary lodging, Nero and her group reunited with Kazuma and Darkness. When Kazuma and Darkness heard about the day's dragon-slaying adventure, their reactions were identical shouts of disbelief.

Tilting her head, Nero asked, "Did I not tell you?"

"Not at all!"

"Oh. I must've forgotten. Anyway, Kazuma, when's dinner? We haven't eaten since lunch while fighting the dragon."

"It's almost ready. I made a killing at the casino today, so I bought some top-tier ingredients for a feast. You're gonna love it—wait! Don't change the subject! You can't just brush this off with, 'Oh, I forgot!' This is important!"

"Umu?" Nero blinked. "What's the problem? Aren't I an adorable girl? If I act cute, shouldn't you just let it go? Nagging like this makes you lose points as a man."

"Ah… you have a point. Thanks for the meal?"

"Besides, even if I had told you, would you have come along?"

"Nope." Kazuma's voice was flat. "Seeing you come back all beaten up, I can imagine just how insane that dragon must've been. I'd just be dead weight. Everyone has their place, and mine is the casino. Honestly, if I could, I'd live there."

In one day, Kazuma had made an enormous amount of money—equivalent to 40% of the funding Elroad Kingdom provided to Belzerg.

If only he'd started with more money, his earnings could've been even higher.

"I-I would've gone!"

Darkness shot her hand into the air, grabbing everyone's attention. With her face flushed and her body trembling, she hugged herself tightly.

"That was a dragon! The most fearsome creature in existence! I want to be crushed beneath its mighty weight! Would it look down at me like I'm an insect? Or thrash me mercilessly with its thick, long tail until I'm covered in bruises? Oh, the scalding heat of its breath searing my skin… the smell of its musk—mm~~!"

As she rubbed her thighs together, Darkness let out a sound so suggestive it made everyone else deeply uncomfortable.

---

...

If you're reading this, then you've wandered all the way to the end. I'm impressed. Stories are like wine—meant to be savored, not rushed. So if you took your time? Thank you.

Of course, the real thanks goes to WiseTL—the one who turned tangled words into something beautiful. I just got asked to wrap things up with a ribbon. Hopefully this counts!

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Go on. Be generous. They've earned it.

Until next time—read well, rest often, and maybe come visit me at the Hostess of Fertility sometime.

– Syr ✨