I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit [460] [40 PS]

The closer they got to the great tree, the fresher the air seemed to become, as if it were cleansing both body and soul.

The snow had long since melted, and the first signs of spring were beginning to emerge.

Beside the tree, Aesc and the others found two nameless gravestones. A few flowers bloomed nearby, their petals vibrant against the weathered stone.

These flowers were neither as delicate as roses nor as pure as lilies, but their presence kept the two gravestones from looking lonely, adding a splash of gentle color.

Fern crouched beside one of the stones, reaching out to touch its surface.

Her fingertips brushed over the marks left by the passage of time.

Stark murmured, "They really are nameless… not a single word."

"Not just nameless."

Aesc's voice was quiet.

"I called them gravestones earlier, but in reality, there are no bodies buried beneath them. No relics. Not even a cenotaph."

"Aside from these two stones, there's nothing here at all."

She continued,

"Grausam of Miracle—one of the Seven Sages of Destruction—came to this village once. He's the only known demon who could resist the Dream Festival's grand magic."

"But even he only managed to resist it—he never fully understood how it worked."

"He probably came here because of the spell. But he never found its source. I heard that while he was here, he even dug up these graves—only to find nothing inside.

"And so, he left with nothing."

"After that, since even someone like Grausam couldn't find anything useful here, mages gradually lost interest in this place."

"As for Serie…"

Aesc hesitated for a moment.

"I get the feeling she knows something. But neither Frieren nor I would dare ask her. And even if we did, she definitely wouldn't tell us anything."

When she mentioned Serie, Aesc's tone was noticeably less than pleasant.

Frieren, on the other hand, had a different kind of feeling toward her master.

It was somewhere between reverence and distance—the kind of emotion a struggling student might feel toward a strict teacher.

Perhaps because Frieren thought—"She and I walk different paths."

As for Aesc, her wariness came from something else entirely.

She was hiding something.

And she wasn't sure if she could keep it hidden from Serie's sharp eyes.

Fern had noticed this before—back when they were in the City of Magic for the mage examination.

For a brief moment, she had sensed Aesc deliberately avoiding Serie.

As if she didn't want to meet her.

But the feeling was fleeting, and Fern had quickly pushed it aside.

Now, as she stared at the two gravestones, a question suddenly came to mind.

"Then… after that mage died, do you think he was able to meet his wife in the Land of Tranquil Souls?"

Aesc shrugged.

"Who knows?"

"For all we know, by the time he arrived, his wife might have already reincarnated—ow!"

A sharp pain shot through her knee.

Frieren—who had been silent all this time—suddenly kicked her.

"Why would you say something like that? You're going to make Fern cry."

Aesc blinked.

"Wow, Frieren, you can actually read people's emotions now? That's kind of touching."

Ignoring her, Frieren turned to Fern and spoke in a firm voice.

"Don't worry. That mage definitely reunited with his wife in the Land of Tranquil Souls."

There was no reason for her to say this.

No evidence.

No proof.

She simply wanted to believe it.

Because—

"If people couldn't believe in something like that…"

"Then how could they ever face death peacefully?"

Fern stared at Frieren's gentle smile, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu.

"Fern, do you believe in the Goddess?"

She could still remember—

A frail, aging Heiter sitting on the temple steps, asking her that question.

At the time, Fern did not believe.

If the Goddess truly existed, then why had demons destroyed her village?

Why had her parents been slaughtered?

Why had she been left all alone?

But she knew—

She knew that Heiter, the man who had raised her, was a priest. A devout believer.

So she had never voiced her true feelings.

Instead, she carefully replied,

"So far, nothing has ever truly proven the Goddess exists, Lord Heiter."

Heiter only smiled.

His wrinkled face creased with warmth.

His old, weary eyes held a light that was impossible to decipher.

"That's true… But still, I want to try believing in her."

"I believed in the Goddess."

"I believed that when I died, she would pat my head and praise me for all the good I had done."

"That's why I set out on a journey with Himmel to save the world."

"That's why I spent my life helping others."

"Fern, people choose to believe in things."

"Even if those things are false. Even if they're fantasies. Even if they're completely unrealistic."

"They believe—because it makes life easier to bear."

"Because belief helps them make the right choices without hesitation."

"Because without it… they wouldn't be able to keep going."

"I want to believe that the Goddess is real."

"That those who do good in life won't simply vanish into nothingness when they die."

"That they'll be welcomed into paradise."

"If I don't at least try to believe that… I don't think I'd be able to face my own death peacefully."

"And honestly… If the Goddess doesn't exist, I'd be really troubled."

Coming back to the present, Fern glanced at Frieren once more.

A small, almost imperceptible smile formed at her lips.

"Yes. That mage definitely saw his wife again after he died."

There was no reason for her to say this.

No evidence.

No proof.

She simply chose to believe it.

Because—

"If I didn't, that would be really troublesome."

---

Thirty Years After Himmel's Death

After speaking with the guards at the checkpoint, Frieren returned to the group.

"They said we need to go through inspections before we can pass. It'll take at least three days."

She relayed the news in her usual tone.

Stark frowned.

"So we're stuck in this city for three days?"

Aesc rubbed her chin.

"That's not too long."

Fern, completely deadpan, immediately called Frieren out.

"I mean, considering you once stayed in a village for half a year just to find a single flower, three days really does seem short in comparison."

Frieren's face instantly morphed into the expression of a bilibili TV mascot.

"I'm sorry, I'm already reflecting on that…"

It seemed Fern still held a grudge over that incident.

Even after all this time, she still brought it up occasionally.

Stark, however, couldn't relate at all.

By the time he had joined the group, Frieren had already broken that bad habit—thanks to Fern.

In that sense, Stark was lucky.

Fern was the one who had suffered.

Watching the group interact, Aesc couldn't help but chuckle.

There were moments when, as she looked at Frieren, Fern, and Stark—

She would see something else.

A fleeting illusion.

Of Habetrot, Mash, and the Black Knight.

She knew it wasn't real.

It was simply a side effect—memories from the Heroic Spirit within her Saint Graph.

Although that journey ended in failure for the fairy of paradise—her pilgrimage concluding in despair and suffering colder than winter itself—

Meeting her companions had been the only happiness she truly cherished.

Fairies were selfish creatures, undeserving of salvation…

But Habetrot, the Black Knight, and the Rain Clan who had taken her in were different.

The Savior Aesc and Artoria Caster had lived completely opposite lives.

The Savior Aesc had experienced four wars: spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

Artoria Caster carried four memories: winter, autumn, summer, and spring.

Aesc's childhood had been happy and fulfilling.

The Rain Clan, who had adopted her, never treated her as an outsider—they loved her as their own child.

Artoria Caster's childhood had been painful and cruel.

The villagers who had taken her in hated her.

They had only raised her in the hopes that she would one day become valuable enough to be sold for a good price.

Aesc spent the latter half of her life betrayed by fairies.

She lost faith in them, choosing to strip all fairies of their freedom and place them under absolute control.

Artoria Caster, after enduring despair, encountered Chaldea.

Though true happiness was still far away, she had at last found companions she could trust.

Aesc's greatest wish was a journey like this one.

A journey without the burdens of paradise.

A simple, carefree adventure with her companions—

Traveling together, admiring the scenery, laughing and worrying over the little things they encountered along the way.

"Since we'll be staying in this city for three days, I'll go find us a place to stay."

Aesc's sapphire eyes curved in amusement as she looked over at the three of them.

"Anyone want to come with me?"

The first to respond was Frieren.

"There's somewhere I want to visit. I was interested in it when we passed by earlier, but I'll need Stark to come with me."

Fern immediately frowned.

"Then I'm coming too. If I let you take Lord Stark somewhere weird, what if you corrupt him?"

Stark broke into a cold sweat.

"I'm not a kid, okay? It's not that easy to corrupt me…"

Frieren, looking visibly dejected, murmured,

"What kind of person am I in your mind, Fern…?"

Neither Frieren nor Stark could argue against Fern, so in the end, it was decided that Aesc would go find an inn alone.

Stark and Fern would follow Frieren to see the place she was curious about.

"Alright, just don't stay out too late."

Aesc shrugged, then turned to Fern.

"Make sure to keep an eye on them, Fern. Don't let them wander off somewhere suspicious."

At that moment—

Both Stark and Frieren visibly drooped.

Stark & Frieren: "Why does even Aesc say that…?"

If Fern had made them sound like children easily led astray, then Aesc's words had downgraded them to wandering puppies.

With slumped shoulders, Stark and Frieren reluctantly parted ways with Aesc.

Frieren then led them into the city marketplace.

There was only one way to describe this place: chaotic.

Vendors from all over the continent competed fiercely for customers.

They even occupied the narrow pathways between stalls, leaving little room to walk.

The layout was completely disorganized, and there was no one to regulate it.

Most merchants had simply laid out a cloth, set up a makeshift canopy, and started shouting to sell their wares.

It wasn't dirty, thanks to how widespread magic was in this world—keeping things clean and germ-free was far easier than in a normal society.

But crowded and noisy were unavoidable.

Fern immediately frowned upon arriving.

"Lady Frieren, what exactly are we doing here?"

"Obviously, shopping."

Frieren answered as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Her response only made Fern's frown deepen.

"If you want to shop, wouldn't it be better to go to actual stores? Why come to a place like this, where everything looks shady? I seriously doubt there's anything good here."

"Heh heh heh… You just don't get it, Fern."

Frieren let out a triumphant chuckle.

"It's exactly because this place is full of all kinds of people that vendors from every country gather here!"

"Which means, according to probability theory, the chances of finding something valuable are actually quite high!"

"There are plenty of clueless merchants who stumble upon rare treasures but don't recognize their worth."

"Then they come here and sell them for dirt cheap—allowing people like us to grab an amazing bargain!

"It's a totally common occurrence!"

For some reason, Fern found this oddly familiar.

Like she had heard something similar somewhere before…

"Lady Frieren… where did you learn this from?"

"From a storybook Aesc wrote."

"…"

Fern was at a loss for words.

"Lady Frieren, that was all made up, wasn't it? It's fictional. You can't trust it."

"No, Fern."

"You're wrong."

Frieren suddenly stopped walking.

She turned away from the merchandise, her gaze locking onto Fern.

"The world of magic is a world of imagination."

"For us mages, as long as we are willing to believe—"

"Even reversing the heavens and earth isn't impossible."

"Aesc is proof of that."

"Her imagination surpasses all of ours."

"That's why her mastery of magic is so powerful."

"She can even take the spells from those stories and manifest them in reality."

"So, Fern, we should also believe in ourselves."

"Believe that we can do the same."

There was so much confidence in Frieren's voice—

That for a moment, even Fern felt herself waver.

But only for a moment.

She quickly snapped back to reality.

"That may be true, Lady Frieren."

"But what we're doing right now has nothing to do with magic."

"You're just gambling on luck."

Seeing that Fern wasn't falling for it, Frieren tried again.

"Do you really think I'd rely on luck?"

She lifted her chin proudly.

"I've lived for a thousand years."

"Do you really think I'd entrust myself to something as unreliable as luck?"

---

T/N: uhhh who did Aesc journey with? idk if those are the right ones...