Course Correction

"What do you want? You knew someone was in here. What if it was someone else?" Allurai said as she looked at her daughter. Her presence at this moment was exhausting. She lacked maturity and wasn't capable. Her Bind was managing her workload well enough, but she had no skills of her own. Liem, on the other hand, was thriving in the acting role of a Matriarch currently. She had caught what Liem had said as he left the room. She felt so guilty about being relieved and agreeing with him. Leilanna paced nervously in front of her.

"Mother, I need your guidance. Velez, Grizz and Philen got into a physical altercation last night and I do not know what to do. It was so shocking. It is too tense. Some refuse to converse with me, they insult each other, and they are quiet at meals." Leilanna said in a whimpering tone, as she moved into the room. She sat down and started to weep in front of her Mother and Fathers. Allurai patted her daughter's head like she was soothing a child. Annoyance crossed her face as Allurai willed herself to be patient with her daughter. Leilanna would need years of work before she could trust her with more work, especially with her personal life crumbling so quickly. She began to explain the situation to her daughter as kindly as she could.

 "You are with Philen a lot. Are you making sure that you spend time with everyone?" Allurai asked her daughter. Leilanna shook her head. "What if your father and I stopped paying you attention suddenly? How would that make you feel?" Allurai retorted, pleased to see her daughter emote as she thought it out. Leilanna's face crinkled imagining the scenario and then a look of guilt crept across it when she finally realized it. "You need to go over your lessons again, Leilanna. You are going to be welcoming your first child soon, even though it is a male, it will increase the emotions of your Bind." Allurai felt that her daughter was incredibly emotionally dense as well.

 The reason women usually took three spouses in their first ceremony was to learn how to divide their attention and spend time with their spouses without overwhelming themselves. Leilanna took six spouses in her first ceremony. It was a bold move for publicity in her eyes. She really tried to convince her otherwise. She warned her that she was not emotionally mature for more, and she did not come out of her room for a week. It took years to bond, build trust and intimacy among a spousal group. Especially when you are young, hormonal and prone to making poor decisions. It was best to take time. But in the end, it was Leilanna's choice as a woman when she reached the minimum age. 

"I warned you that it would be very challenging to take so many spouses in your first ceremony. It is really hard when you are all so young and you have no emotional experience. That is why you learn to build it with a smaller intimate group first. " Allurai started to preach to her daughter.

"But why would it matter between three or six? They are all lucky-" Leilanna interjected. Allurai raged, she pointed her fingers at her, cutting her off. 

"Do not interrupt me. Ignorance. I did not teach you this way!" Allurai said as her daughter's lips started to move to form a pout. She was annoyed with her daughter's intrusion during her son's appointment. She did not get to see him much as he grew up, and she was starting to see the reason why. Liem had to book an appointment to see her. She saw the look in her son's eyes as the door was chiming, and it made the already heated parting so much worse. She saw him immediately back up and straighten as his sister entered the meeting room. His reaction was not respectful, it was like he was dealing with someone that scared him. She began to suspect the reasons why he really stayed in Education Instruction for so long. 

"It is important for you not to play favorites with them. And that is what you did. It can make them feel left out or rejected. They start to get jealous of the attention others receive, and it leads to anger, as you saw", Allurai explained. "A spousal relationship is all about harmony. If you strum the strings on a Zeere together, do they not all make the most beautiful sound? But if you strum only one string on a Zeere, it eventually snaps, and you can now never play harmoniously with that same instrument again. It is never the same. Men are more complex than the strings of an instrument. An instrument does not have feelings and remembers what notes and chords are played the most commonly." Allurai used the age-old metaphor that her Mother had taught her. 

"They are all too attentive, Mother, they will not stop touching me. I feel so awful about my body and they will not stop pawing me. Philen is not like that, Mother." Leilanna complained. 

"You took on a tremendous challenge by taking on six spouses at your age. That is why everyone starts with three men, so you can grow together. I did not even think of adding another spouse to our family until after you and your brother were born. Growing together takes time, maturing to handle the emotional needs of your spouses is a process. For now, try to understand where your spouses are coming from." Allurai explained exasperatedly. Leilanna had a terrible concept of empathy.

"They are all concerned about you and want to take care of you, and they are also young, hormonal and as confused as you are. Can you accept that? You are ignoring them for Phillen. Recoiling from them and their care. And Phillen is doing nothing, and he gets all of your attention? How would you feel if I favored your sister solely? You would not like that would you?" Allurai ranted, trying to bring the point home again frustrated. Liem turned away from the group, rolling his eyes. Allurai had actually done that to her own sons. Didn't she remember? He left.

"You need to communicate with them as to what you need and not just shrink away from your family. If they are trying to pay you attention, that means they are seeking to connect with you and bond. If they were pawing at you they must be quite desperate for attention. It is not just you and your pregnancy. You are all becoming parents and you are all trying to build your future as well. Maybe it is time to take back your projects?" Allurai said, disappointed with Leilanna. They were Allari projects that were struggling under her management currently. Dorien nodded in agreement. 

"When you become a Matriarch of a spousal group you have to divide yourself, sometimes you will not feel like it, but it is your duty as the leader of your family. Not one person can be neglected. You owe your spouses an apology and you need to change your behaviour, your fathers and I will take over your current projects for now as Dorien suggested." Allurai finished looking at her daughter's welling eyes.

 "Now think over what you are going to say and how you will demonstrate your sincerity to your spouses." Dorien added, looking at his daughter. Leilanna took a deep breath and huffed and spun on her heel and quickly exited the room. Her emotions burst as she left Allurai's office.

"Why do I have to bother with this? Can she not see I am trying?" Leilanna muttered to herself as she left forlorn. Leilanna let out a frustrated shriek. She was furious that her mother took over her projects. She had earned those through hard work in her educational instruction. She was frustrated about the setback that her relationship had caused to her rise to power. She picked her spouses strategically in order to ensure her rise to Matriarch in the future. 

"I wish I could see how to actually do this? Maybe I should have only taken three?" Leilanna questioned herself. She felt overwhelmed. 

'I am only nineteen. Why could I not wait to do this at all until I felt ready? I cannot handle this. I am not prepared. Oh! it is hard to be a male, huh? At least they do not get piled on every month if they are not pregnant or run multiple businesses to support their brothers. I am stuck now. But so are they.' Leilanna thought to herself. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she walked down the hallway. She had a lot to think about and work to do with her spouses. Leilanna walked into her home bawling her eyes out. She grabbed a vase and threw it against the floor. The impact shattered one part of the beautiful mosaic flooring of her entry hall.

 "Why is it so hard? It is so unfair!" Leilanna said as she panted from the exertion. Her spouses walked into the entryway to see her in another crying fit on the floor. Janien, Prim, Lillen and Grizz all looked down at her, waiting for her to calm down. There was shattered glass and ceramics all around her. As Leilanna eventually calmed, the men looked on with mixed expressions of helplessness, sadness and disappointment in her. This was a common scene with her. Philen and Velez had just returned from the hospital from just having their wounds taken care of and a good talk. 

"We all need to talk, Leilanna." Philen said as he took the lead in the conversation, he felt terrible about his role in making the situation worse. Her frightened look last night and the argument shook him and the others. 

"I know," Leilanna said in a weepy tone. "I am so sorry, my spouses. I have to reflect on my behavior. Mostly I should be communicating with you better. Let us clean this up and have a good discussion." Leilanna said. 

"We also want to talk about your temper and how you have been treating us physically," Lillen said, pointing to the mess in their home. Leilanna started to weep again, looking at her spouses and the mess that she had created. Her mother was right. She had taken on such a large challenge without considering how her relationships with men went. She thought they would just be compliant to her whims like her brother. She was a female and the next in line to be Matriarch, they should be. She was losing her grasp on that position. Liem was now powerful. He was now part of a brand new popular clan that seemed to be already getting acclaim for their work. Now Allurai was pregnant with another female whom she was sure would be her replacement. 

"I am sorry. I will clean this all up and meet you out there." Leilanna said, shocking her spouses. She was very pregnant and would cut herself. Unable to bear watching her do it by herself, so cluelessly the group began to help and then made some Liotte. The group of six men would wait until she was calmer to bravely begin their intervention on Leilanna's abusive behavior and favoritism. After she finished a glass she would be calmer. They tiredly hoped that they could get through to her and work out their differences before the child was born.