Chapter 25

"What the…?" Yoruichi snatched the camera from Rukia's hand and all but smashed her face against the small screen. The others scrambled to get a look.

"I can't seeeee," whined Mashiro.

Kukaku reached in, attempting to take the camera away from Yoruichi, but her hand was smacked away.

"Come on, Yo, stop fucking around," the Shiba heiress demanded. Yoruichi looked down at the camera one last time, shook her head in disbelief and handed it to Nemu.

"Set it up," she said, and within minutes the camera was connected to the projector screen they had stolen…er, borrowed from Kisuke. The first picture came up and there was a collective gasp. It was a perfect profile picture.

"Holy shit, Kukaku yelled, scooting her chair closer to the screen.

"Holy shit is right," Lisa agreed quietly.

The rest of the group nodded their heads absentmindedly. They were entranced by the sexy scientist slideshow. Not a single word was spoken until the picture that Rukia had almost completely forgotten about popped up.

"What the…stop it here!" When the image instead switched to some mortal schoolgirls making funny faces Yoruichi spun around in exasperation. "Nemu!"

"My apologies, Lady Yoruichi," the lieutenant said absently. She thought she knew everything there was to know about her father…captain, whatever. Not that she cared what or who he did. It was just that she thought he hated his former captain. Oh well, next picture…

"NEMU!" the whole group exclaimed in unison as a shot of Orihime being hugged by a redhead in glasses came up.

Startled out of her reverie, Nemu jumped then fumbled with the camera for a moment before she went back to the picture of the shrine. She watched as Yoruichi walked toward the screen with her mouth hanging open. "Where is this?" the noblewoman asked no one in particular.

"I saw it in Captain Kurotsuchi's closet," Rukia piped up. "Crazy, right? What do you think it means?"

"It means that for once he wants to be someone's specimen," Kukaku told the group. "And with a body like that he just might get his wish. Kisuke's a sick fuck."

"No matter what he looks like he's still a freak. I couldn't imagine him having sex…with anyone. Even I'm not that curious," Lisa joked.

"He is not as averse to sexual intercourse as you all suppose," Nemu stated casually.

The room went completely silent. Every eye was on the Twelfth Squad lieutenant.

"How do you know that," the spectacled visored asked.

Briefly glancing around at the curious faces around her, she continued.

"Extensive observation and research."

"What do you mean extensive observation and research," Isane finally spoke up, unable to hold her tongue any longer. She swallowed hard and looked around the room at the unreadable faces. No one even blinked, afraid of what the answer would be.

Before Nemu could respond Yoruichi stood abruptly. "Ok, that's enough," she said, holding her hand up. "All of you sit down. We have a lot to do, so unless you wanna be in here all night…shut up."

As everyone shuffled to their seats Yoruichi called Mashiro up to the front to take the oath, making her a bona fide member of the Society. She was given a white gold necklace with the word 'Spoiled' on it, and became so excited upon receiving the gift that they practically had to strap her to her seat. The floor was turned over to Rangiku to begin the lesson, but before she could even get started she was interrupted by a boisterous Kukaku.

"Whose turn is it this week?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Rangiku looked to Yoruichi for assistance.

"Nel," Youruichi called out after a few moments of rummaging through stacks of paper.

"Ok, Nel, you heard your captain," Ran said with a smirk, "Get up here and pick a name."

"I hope you get old Yamamoto," Kukaku teased as the former Espada made her way to the front.

"Shut up, you dummy," Nel replied casually as she dug her hand in the small chest and felt around, "or I'll go resurreccion on you and stick my hoof up your ass." She pulled out a small piece of paper and read the name. "Ooo, Byakuya. YESSSSSSSSS!"

She did a little jig across the floor, ignoring the cries of protest coming from all around the room.

"That's not fair!" wailed Mashiro, and surprisingly, Nanao.

"It seems Captain Kuchiki has a bit of a fan club," Unohana noted with a smile.

"Good luck," said Kukaku. "He's so stiff… and not in a good way. If he even lets you near him the most action you'll see is at one of those calligraphy meetings."

Nel stopped her dance abruptly as the truth of what Kukaku said hit her. This was Byakuya they were talking about. Yes, he was quite possibly the most beautiful person she had ever seen. He's so fine with that kiss-my-ass expression that you almost want to tell him to turn around and drop his hakama so that you could oblige him. He makes you want to slap every other man you see for having the audacity to not look like him, and the worst part is…he knows it.

"Damn," Nel said crossing her arms over her chest and stewing on the seemingly insolvable issue.

"Yup. Damn is right. So dance your little ass right back to your seat," Kukaku said with a grin.

"Ok, well, that was fun," Rangiku loudly drew everyone's attention away from the pouting Nel.

"This week we'll be learning about the Art of Seduction."

Week 5: Neliel Tu Odelschwanck and Byakuya Kuchiki

Mission: The Art of Seduction – Byakuya's Pride

Day 1

"Why did I have to get Byakuya?" Nel complained as she hammered back her fourth drink. The female foursome was at Kukaku's for their regularly scheduled debauchery. They decided to pass on the bar tonight, not wanting to risk being attacked by Chuck Norris again or having nameless sex with questionably gay men. If they got too drunk they could all pass out and be perfectly safe.

"I mean, don't get me wrong… he's sexy even with that accordion thing in his hair, and his voice makes me wanna sit on his—"

"NEL!" Yoruichi interrupted, throwing a pillow at her lieutenant's face. Kukaku's boisterous laugh filled the room as she fell over onto the floor. "I was going to say his pride," Nel slurred with a smirk, tossing the pillow back at her commanding officer.

"What's so funny?" Rangiku asked, returning from her hundredth trip to the bathroom.

"Nel wants to sit on Byakuya's pride!" Another pillow was launched across the room and nailed Kukaku right in the face. She glared at Yoruichi who just smirked at her in return.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," the blonde beauty joked. "I mean think about it, it's gotta be huge."

"His cock?" Nel questioned.

"No. His pride. Isn't that what we were talking about?" Rangiku gave Nel a knowing look then plopped down on the floor.

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A/N- Sorry for being inactive , got into some issues but now things are getting back to normal (hopefully) and regular chapters from now on.

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