Chapter 48

Sui-Feng was no drinker, but her tolerance had grown considerably since her ill-fated date with Ulquiorra. She never drank at all except for the Society's weekly meetings, but that was enough. Bringing the cup to her lips she downed the shot in a couple of gulps. A frown wrinkled her brow as it went down, recognizing it as the brand Yoruichi had forced upon the group the night before.

"Hey, look," Rangiku slurred. She then bowed her head and proceeded to try and drink the contents of her cup without removing it from her cleavage. All but Yoruichi and Sui-Feng watched in amazement as their comrade lapped her beverage up like a dog. It was an incredible sight. "Awesome, right?" Rangiku giggled. "Sui-Feng, you should try it. It's so much better than holding it in your hands."

The rest of the women exchanged amused glances before every eye in the room fell on the small woman's practically nonexistent chest. Only then did Rangiku realize her gaffe.

"Uh, or you can not try it. Holding stuff in your hands is cool, too. Lisa does it."

The Visored's eyes narrowed. Now two very dangerous brunettes were regarding Matsumoto with dire intent. Rangiku's attempt to salvage the conversation had failed miserably. Yoruichi looked to her student with a knowing smirk. It didn't take much to make her angry and Ran deserved to get her ass kicked after slapping that shitty mission on her.

Sui-Feng glanced at her former captain, then back to the busty lieutenant who'd just insulted her. Rangiku, sensing the danger she was in, made another attempt to calm the assassin.

"How about another drink?" She quickly refilled everyone's cup, a nervous grin plastered on her face. "Umm, to the lovely Yoruichi…because she's the best at everything." Rangiku lifted her cup in the air and watched as the scowl on Sui-Feng's face disappeared, being replaced by the dopiest grin any of them had ever seen.

'I got her.' The blonde smiled genuinely and Yoruichi couldn't help but do the same. Rangiku was good and her student was hopeless.

"To Lady Yoruichi. The best at everything," Sui-Feng practically squealed. The ladies toasted and drank with Sui-Feng totally unaware she'd been duped.

Two hours and countless drinks later, the women were pleasantly buzzed, all except Sui-Feng who was completely plastered.

"I need to get laid," Kukaku groaned, earning her a glare from Yoruichi.

"Why don't you go see Ayasegawa? I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a late night lesson," the were-cat commented sarcastically.

Before Kukaku could reply a very tipsy Nel interrupted. "I still can't believe you did that," she giggled.

"I can't believe it was good," Rangiku intoned.

"Well, believe it." Kukaku said matter-of-factly. "Don't knock it till you try it. It was fucking good, and while I have no doubt that he would indulge me, I need something else," she added, ignoring the skeptical looks of her drinking buddies.

"Would that 'something else' have spiky hair and an eye-patch?" Rangiku giggled.

Shiba shrugged. "It could be he's a scrawny blonde bitch with a tongue ring." She grinned.

"Shinji!" the women yelled in unison.

"Don't judge me."

"I'm not judging. I'm just surprised, is all. Didn't think he'd be your type… he seems to be rather popular," Yoruichi smirked.

"After Yumichika, I have no type," Kukaku stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, you can't talk, Ms. 'I-want-to-fuck- a-dying-man-into-his-grave'," Rangiku interrupted.

"Shut up! He's not dying," Yoruichi snapped in annoyance.

"Ok, we're officially lost," Kukaku gestured to herself and her green-haired counterpart. "Who's dying?"

"What does she mean?" Sui-Feng asked with sad eyes.

"No one's dying," Yoruichi spoke placidly in an attempt to avert further disasters. "When we were getting Lisa ready for her spar with Ikkaku, everyone said who they wanted to pick and I said Jushiro. What's wrong with that?"

"CAPTAIN UKITAKE?" Sui-Feng sputtered, immediately gulping down another drink.

"What's the big fucking deal?" the cat goddess threw her hands up in exasperation. "He's hot. I bet he's not even that sick. He could probably kick all of our asses at once if he wanted to."

Kukaku's head shook in disbelief as she turned to Rangiku. "And who did you say?"

"Kisuke," Matsumoto slurred dreamily. "I wonder if he'll keep his hat on. I'd want him to. It's sexy."

"Green's my favorite color," Nel offered to the uninterested group. "Oh, you know who I want?"

"Who cares? You got Byakuya," said a very drunk Sui-Feng, surprising everyone. "Who'd you want?" The inebriated assassin faced Lisa. "Because I know it wasn't Ikkaku."

"Starrk," Lisa deadpanned, knowing she would never have such luck.

"I want Renji… Ooo, or that really sad-looking one." Nel wagged her eyebrows. She was met with blank stares. "You know. He always looks like he wants to cry."

"Ulquiorra?" Sui-Feng offered.

"Nooo," Nel whined. "The blonde!"

Everyone was glancing bemusedly at each other before Rangiku finally gasped. "Kira? Are you conscious?"

"Barely," Shiba teased.

"What? I bet I could make him smile," Nel giggled.

"I don't doubt it," Kukaku commented before directing her attention to Sui-Feng. "Speaking of Ulquiorra, you hit that yet?"

Her only reply was a light mist of Jack and coke spewed all over her face.

"Ahh!" The one armed-woman wiped her face with the back of her hand. "You are so dead," she growled.

"I know that!" the drunk yelled. She then reached over, taking Yoruichi's drink from her hand and sipping it. "You'll have to catch me first," she smirked before disappearing in a flash of perfected shunpo.

The women watched in stunned amusement as Sui-Feng slammed into the window that she'd obviously forgotten was closed and fell in a heap on the floor. They all rushed to the edge of the bed and stared down at the unconscious woman. "Is she d-dead?" Nel whimpered.

"Nah, she's just a lightweight," Kukaku grinned. "She's got spunk though. A little clingy, but I can see why you keep her around," she spoke upon turning to Sui-Feng's idol.

Yoruichi smirked. "Fuck you!"

"Maybe later," the bandaged woman replied with a wink.

"You promise?"

They all laughed as they moved from the side of the bed, deciding to leave the passed-out Captain where she was.

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