Undesired Encounter

Seriously, why now?

Ever since Mahiru heard from Amane that he'd met and talked with her own father—Asahi, such thoughts had been swirling around in her head, blocking out everything else.

To Mahiru, the concept of parents had always been something elusive, something practically non-existent in her life. She recognized those two as providers of her DNA, but she didn't recognize them as people responsible for raising her. For as long as she could remember, it was her housekeeper and de facto tutor, Koyuki, who had given her knowledge and guided her as a person, not them.

In her younger years, she had wanted her parents to see her, to be close to them. She had tried her very best to get their attention, but they never reached out in return.

No, they refused to reciprocate.

The people who had given birth to her, then chose to neglect her without a second thought, prioritizing their own desires and their own lives. That was how Mahiru perceived her parents. At first, she had desperately wanted to be recognized and loved by them, but they didn't even notice the despair she felt the day she realized all her efforts were in vain. They had no idea how hurt she was, nor did they want to.

They also wouldn't know that since then, Mahiru had almost no feeling left except great disappointment toward her parents, and even in spite of that, she continued to hold onto a sliver of hope for the longest time. But eventually, she stopped wishing for them to know entirely.

She had been clinging onto the ridiculous possibility of being loved—a possibility as unlikely as finding a single dust of gold in a vast river. Yet, she was disappointed in herself for being unable to give it up. And now—just as she started to believe that she no longer needed parental love thanks to Amane's presence in her life—this happened.

"Why now, after all this time?"

The voice that escaped her lips was frighteningly cold. So frighteningly cold, in fact, that one couldn't possibly imagine it coming from her given her Angel voice she used in public or even the voice she used with Amane.

The point was that Mahiru's father, both in thought and presence, had become nothing more than a stranger to her by this time. She couldn't understand why this man, who had thrown all responsibility onto Koyuki and neglected her for over a decade, would suddenly seek contact. She didn't want to understand.

As if you can come and act like a parent now.

Expecting to be accepted as a parent when you've done nothing to deserve the role was absurd. But if one were to offer a modest defense for Asahi, it was that he at least never hurled abusive words at Mahiru. In that regard, he was better than her mother, Sayo. But, when it came to neglect, his emotional distance far exceeded Sayo's.

Sayo may have shunned and rejected Mahiru, but she at least acknowledged her existence. Asahi, no matter how much pain Mahiru experienced, offered absolutely no support and simply erased her from his mind by focusing himself entirely on work and turning a blind eye to anything inconvenient for him.

As for which of the two was better, Mahiru couldn't say. But what was certain was that Mahiru intended to neither trust nor accept Asahi, who, after all this time, was only just attempting to establish contact as a father.

Just what sparked his change of heart?

It was only natural to be wary of him suddenly acting like a father.

According to Amane, who had directly met with him, Asahi had no intent to harm her. Assuming that was true, it made her all the more cautious as his true intentions remained clouded in mystery.

Perhaps understanding this, Asahi opted not to reach out to Mahiru directly. From Mahiru's perspective, however, this only worsened her impression of him, giving her an eerie feeling as if he were lurking around in the shadows, spying on them for purposes she could not understand.

Fortunately, based on the little she had sensed of Asahi's personality over the years, she guessed he wouldn't force the issue. That's why she believed he wouldn't directly harm her. If, however, Asahi were to do anything that would place her at a disadvantage, Mahiru had the option to consult child welfare services, with the testimonies from her diary, her teachers who knew about her parents' lack of involvement, and Koyuki, who had been the closest person to her.

About the diary, she had told Amane that she used it to chronicle memories and events—which was true—but apart from that, it also served as evidence.

Everything she had experienced up until now had been recorded clearly, including the emotions she felt at the time.

While she wasn't entirely sure if what had occurred up to now qualified as child neglect, Mahiru suspected that if an investigation were performed and it became public knowledge, it could very well affect Asahi's social standing from nothing more than the implication. For the sake of protecting herself and her livelihood, she wasn't afraid to retaliate with maximum force.

I am hoping it won't come to that, though.

Mahiru didn't wish to make a big deal of the situation. She preferred to keep her distance and continue with her current life while not getting involved—like she always had. She was curious about her father's intentions seeing his sudden change in behavior, but if getting involved would jeopardize her current way of life, then she'd rather remain ignorant.

After all, Mahiru no longer needed parental affection.

To be realistic, she might need her parents' financial support. However, she already had enough funds to cover her future college fees. Thanks to the large sums of money they transferred into her account each month—almost as if to claim that money could solve everything—she had enough to cover her living expenses until halfway through college. The account, the passbook, and the personal seal were all fully under her control, so it wasn't something that her parents could interfere with.

The amount of money she possessed was staggering for a high school student, but it was akin to child support for her and something resembling compensation for neglect.

Her parents were no longer people from whom she expected love. They were closer to objects of fear that threatened her life.

She no longer needed them.

Even if they were to reach out now, she was neither naive nor desperate enough to grab their hand. After all, Mahiru now had someone else's hand to take.

✧ ₊ ✦ ₊ ✧

As always, whenever Mahiru arrived at Amane's house, Amane greeted her with a warm expression. Even after the incident with Asahi the other day, his demeanor hadn't changed. Or more accurately, it seemed like he was taking extra care to be accommodating without letting it show on his face, or perhaps was even pretending that nothing had happened.

Amane's approach—neither treating her like a delicate object nor touching upon sensitive topics with insensitivity—was something that Mahiru was grateful for. Prompted by Amane, she then stepped into the living room, where a slightly chilly atmosphere greeted her.

Knowing the usual temperature setting, Mahiru was aware that the air conditioner mustn't have been turned up too high, yet she still felt a mild coldness in the air. She snuggled closer to Amane, who smiled softly and took her hand, to which they sat down on the sofa together. Once seated by his side, Mahiru looked over at him—his expression was the same as always, but she noticed a slightly affectionate look in his eyes.

"Amane-kun." When she timidly uttered the name of the person she loved, she received a smile as warm and mellow as the spring sunshine.

That smile, warm yet enveloping, could even thaw snow before it, and it seemed to momentarily clear the fog that had been swirling deep within her heart. Yet, what had swelled within her from the other day's events still hadn't vanished completely. At the core of that fog was the heavy clump of years of concentrated emotions, which Mahiru could neither forget nor shake from her mind, and that was only brought further into the light as she was reminded of it by recent events.

"Hm? Is something wrong?"

Mahiru's eyes wandered upon hearing Amane reply in a voice so unbelievably serene yet familiar, and she was at a loss for what to do. It wasn't that she wanted him to do anything in particular. She had simply come to him wanting to be by his side.

"…Well, erm…could you hold my hand, please?" After some thought, Mahiru made that small request. The only hand she wanted to hold was Amane's.

Maybe she wanted to confirm that for herself once more.

With a slight hesitation, Mahiru had made her request. Amane responded with a gentle smile, then enveloped her hand with his. It was the first thing she wanted to touch her—a slightly bony, somewhat rough, yet sturdy hand. A gentle hand that had always touched her with utmost care.

Just being held and caressed by that hand made her feel so relaxed that she could almost lose her strength.

"Is holding hands all you want?" Amane asked if that was enough for her, his voice tender but tinged with playful curiosity. Wondering whether it was appropriate for her to fawn over him any more than she already had, Mahiru lowered her eyes.

In the end, there was no additional contact from Asahi. Everything seemed to have gone back to normal as if nothing had happened. But Mahiru hesitated and shut her mouth.

Is it okay for me to rely on Amane-kun even more? I'm simply fretting about this all on my own.

As if sensing her hesitation, Amane tightened his grip on her hand for a moment before gently letting go.

"Ah." As she let out a small gasp, a blanket was placed over her head. "…You seem chillier than usual today, Mahiru. Maybe I set the air conditioning too high. Here, wrap yourself in this blanket."

Saying this with a smile, Amane wrapped Mahiru's still-chilly body in a blanket. He then slipped his arms around her back and the back of her knees and effortlessly lifted her up, laying her across his lap without a moment's hesitation.

As Mahiru gently landed sideways on Amane's thigh, she blinked in surprise, and the obsidian eyes that peered into her narrowed with affection.

"Warmed up now?"

"…Yes." Mahiru felt warmth rush to her eyes.

Amane was embracing her without any reservation, and yet he deliberately refrained from touching on any inner worries she may have. To ensure that the warmth wouldn't dissipate, he offered her a tender smile.

He may have thought Mahiru was putting on a brave face, but that was fine by her. She had faith that Amane would accept her for who she was, no matter what.

An almost strained sigh escaped her, but Mahiru didn't look at Amane's expression. Instead, she rested her cheek against his strong chest.

I'm no match for him.

Amane saw right through her—through her personality, her trivial pride, and the anxieties she couldn't completely erase on her own. He anticipated it all, orchestrating this situation that Mahiru couldn't refuse. He did all that so Mahiru could feel naturally at ease, even if only slightly.

Aware that Amane was respecting her feelings and not pressing her to reveal more than she was willing to share, Mahiru exhaled softly.

I really love this part of him as well.

Watching her own parents had sometimes made her question the very concept of family. For Mahiru, the idea of a happy family had always been a fantasy, something she couldn't quite believe truly existed. But meeting Amane and seeing how he was treated made her realize that there could be families who genuinely cared for and respected each other, taking each other's hands through life.

He had grown up in what she very much envied—an ideal family. And that made him all the more dazzling to her.

I would…rather have Amane-kun.

Born into a family that, as their daughter, was far from admirable even in her eyes, Mahiru had never favored the idea of spending her days with someone else or building a family. But meeting Amane taught her hope. Being so gently enveloped and cared for by Amane made her think anew that she could walk into the future with him, that they could find happiness together.

It was at that moment that she realized how open she was to the idea of that kind of life-long relationship with Amane in the future. She couldn't help but feel a little flustered, and writhed around within Amane's arms.

Yes, I love him very much, and yes, I never want to be apart from him again. But still!

Could their relationship be too heavy for high school students to bear?

Mahiru understood that nine times out of ten, high school relationships didn't last. With that in mind, thinking about their future at this stage was likely a little—no, quite—heavy indeed. She knew that Amane also loved her deeply and that he intended to be with her for a long time, but consciously thinking about marriage carried a different kind of weight.

Mahiru let out a soft moan, overwhelmed by her own strength of attachment and affection. Amane, of course, was unaware of the emotional whirlpool inside her, and simply stroked her back gently with a worried look.

"…Um, Amane-kun?" "Hm?"

"…Is it not too heavy for you?" Mahiru didn't specify the subject of her sentence, which perhaps was unfair.

Amane blinked several times at Mahiru's question before laughing lightly. "Don't worry, it's not heavy to me at all. Are you that worried about it even though I've been training?"

"It's not that I'm worried exactly, it's just that…"

"You often let the small things get to you, Mahiru. Don't worry about it. Just lean on me and depend on me. If it helps you relax even a little, I'll lift you as many times as you want." Amane likely grasped both of the meanings in Mahiru's words and chuckled. "You show restraint during the strangest times," he added. He might not have grasped the real meaning behind 'heaviness' that Mahiru hadn't actually expressed, but that was enough for her. It was enough for her that Amane accepted her.

"Look, if you're struggling or anxious, just tell me. Well, sure, I might not be able to do anything about the root cause of it, and it'd be wrong of me to take it on myself as your pain is yours alone," Amane said. "…But, what I can do, Mahiru, is stay by your side until you overcome that pain."

"…Yes."

"You can let it all out if it makes you feel better, but you don't have to. It's up to you. I'll just accept whichever way makes you most comfortable."

Amane's unfaltering stance of leaving the choice to Mahiru made her feel reassured from the bottom of her heart.

…I'm truly glad I fell for him.

She let her body relax and leaned into him.

"…I'm okay." Mahiru had no intention of venting about her family issues to Amane. She had already done that some days ago. The torrent of gray emotions inside her might be too overwhelming for her to tackle alone. But as long as she had Amane by her side, Mahiru felt she could accept these deeply rooted negative emotions and memories and move forward. "Erm, well, it's not about putting up a front or bottling it all up or anything like that…I just believe these are things I need to put behind me in order to move on."

No matter how much she vented, the woes, the sorrow, and the grievances of her younger self would continue to gush out inexhaustibly. In the end, so long as the root cause remained, they would eventually resurface. To move forward with Amane, Mahiru felt she had to untangle the twisted form of attachment to her parents she had since childhood, which was deeply rooted in her longing for them.

This was also to prevent her from making any further mistakes. "…Got it." Amane said quietly and continued to stroke her back.

"Simply having you by my side is more than enough," Mahiru continued. "Your presence brings me great comfort."

"You've gotta be exaggerating." "It's the truth, you know?"

If she hadn't met Amane, Mahiru's future wouldn't have been as bright. She wouldn't have been able to trust anyone else, or even have been capable of loving someone from the bottom of her heart. She would have lived bearing an insurmountable resentment towards her parents.

In all likelihood, she would've walked through life in solitude, under a perpetually clouded sky.

"…I'm fortunate to have met you, Amane-kun."

A solemn murmur escaped Mahiru's lips. Without saying anything further, Amane gently embraced her, wrapping her in his warmth.