Chapter 26: THE GREAT MILK WAR

Just as Cahaya was recovering from the Great Tomato Uprising, another crisis erupted.

The Dairy Faction had declared war.

Roy, still drenched in tomato juice, blinked."…The what now?"

The government officer panted, struggling to catch his breath."The Dairy Faction, sir! They've taken control of Cahaya's National Milk Reserves!"

Aziz groaned, slamming his head on the table."Why do we even HAVE a National Milk Reserve?!"

Roy grinned."Because I ordered it last year! Remember my 'Milk for Every Citizen' campaign?"

Aziz stared. "You mean the initiative that gave everyone a free carton of milk… ONCE?"

Roy nodded. "Exactly! And it looks like people took that very seriously."

Farah looked at the report."Sir, the Dairy Faction is demanding official recognition of milk as Cahaya's national beverage."

Roy gasped. "BUT THAT TITLE BELONGS TO MANGO JUICE!"

Aziz sighed. "Sir, do NOT start another fruit war."

Too late. The Milk War had begun.

Dairy Faction Strikes First!

That evening, the entire city smelled like spoiled milk.

The Dairy Faction had sabotaged the capital's water supply by replacing it with… MILK.

Faucets poured milk instead of water.Citizens were forced to shower in milk.The National Fountains were now giant pools of dairy.Even the firefighters' hoses were spewing pure cow juice.

Aziz screamed."THESE MANIACS TURNED OUR WATER SYSTEM INTO A GIANT COW!"

Roy, sipping a glass of cold milk, shrugged."Honestly, kind of impressive."

Farah read the latest breaking news."Sir, the Vegans of Cahaya have declared a state of emergency."

Aziz sighed. "Great. Now we have three factions involved."

Roy grinned. "Make that FOUR."

Everyone turned to him.

Roy stood up dramatically.

"IT'S TIME TO CALL IN… THE LACTOSE INTOLERANTS!"

Aziz paled. "Oh no."

The Lactose Intolerant Rebellion

Within hours, a new faction rose.

The Lactose Intolerants (or the L.I. Rebels) emerged from the shadows, demanding an end to Cahaya's "Dairy Oppression."

Their leader? Commander Beano.

He stormed into the capital wearing a gas mask and carrying a banner that read:

"NO MORE MILK-BASED TYRANNY!"

Behind him, an army of lactose-intolerant citizens carried weapons such as:

Anti-milk blasters (actually just water guns filled with almond milk).Cheese-shredding grenades (which just made a mess).A cow repellent device (which was just a megaphone playing "MOO" sounds on repeat).

Roy was LOVING IT.

"THIS IS GETTING SO GOOD!" he cheered, eating popcorn.

Aziz, nearly in tears, grabbed Roy by the collar."Sir, we need to STOP THIS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE!"

Roy laughed. "Aziz, this is history in the making."

THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN

The streets of Cahaya turned into a dairy battlefield.

The Dairy Faction launched milk cannons from the rooftops.The Lactose Intolerants countered with soy milk balloons.The Vegans tried to broker peace but were ignored.The Mango Juice Loyalists (yes, they returned) were just there to throw fruit at everyone.

At the center of it all, Roy stood on a giant milk crate, watching the chaos unfold.

Farah handed him a megaphone.

"Sir, do something before we all drown in dairy!"

Roy took a deep breath.

And then…

HE YELLED THE MOST UNHINGED THING POSSIBLE.

"BRING ME… THE HOLY COW!"

Silence.

Everyone stopped fighting.

Even Aziz looked at Roy like he had lost his last brain cell.

"The what?" Aziz whispered.

Roy smirked. "Oh, you'll see."

Enter… THE HOLY COW

From the distance, the ground trembled.

And then…

A massive golden cow statue was airlifted into the city square by a government helicopter.

Aziz screamed.

"WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THAT?!"

Roy grinned. "Remember my 'Cahaya's Biggest Cow' project?"

Aziz looked like he wanted to quit life.

The Holy Cow was lowered onto the battlefield, and its golden eyes gleamed under the sun.

Everyone stared in awe.

Even Commander Beano hesitated.

Roy grabbed the megaphone again.

"THIS WAR ENDS NOW."

The factions held their breath.

Roy dramatically raised his hand.

"I PROPOSE… THE HOLY COW ACCORD!"

The Peace Agreement

Roy's plan?A milk-based peace treaty that made NO SENSE.

Terms of the Holy Cow Accord:Milk stays in Cahaya, but optional for all.Soy milk & almond milk get equal representation.A National Dairy-Free Day is established.Commander Beano gets a free lifetime supply of lactase pills.The Holy Cow statue remains in the capital FOREVER.

Somehow…

IT WORKED.

The factions agreed.

The Milk War ended.

Cahaya's New Era… of InsanityThe Holy Cow Statue became a national landmark.Dairy & non-dairy options were now mandatory in every café.The Mango Juice Loyalists still insisted mango juice was supreme.Aziz resigned for the 12th time (but Roy ignored it).Roy was awarded the "Champion of Dairy Diplomacy" title.

At the end of the day, Roy raised his glass of chocolate milk.

"To another successful crisis!"

Aziz groaned."Sir, please stop celebrating disasters."

Farah added, "Sir, please stop CAUSING disasters."

Roy just winked at them.

Meanwhile…

In the shadows, Greg (aka General Ketchup) smirked.

"They may have won this time…"

He picked up a sack of coffee beans.

"…but soon, Cahaya will face…THE GREAT CAFFEINE UPRISING

TO BE CONTINUED