Chapter 28: Fake Dad?

Sure, the situation was dangerous just now, but isn't Jiang Xiao still alive and well?

"Ahem, a little joke and some casual chatter is nothing to fuss over, right~"

"Exactly, if you're always on edge, you're bound to end up crazy like Jiang Xiao."

"Besides, Jiang Xiao is immortal; what do we have to fear?"

Yeah right, he survived a nine-star challenge; a mere seven-star should be a cinch, shouldn't it?

But some people had doubts.

"Am I the only one who feels that the current Jiang Xiao doesn't seem as fierce as he was in the last Kaidan?"

"Does the mental hospital provide a home-field advantage?"

"Me too, I always feel like this version of Jiang Xiao has been nerfed..."

"Could it be because Nohara Shinzou isn't as much of a pervert as the chief?"

"?????"

Regardless, the mood in Dragon Country had relaxed.

But those squatting in Dragon Country's livestream from other countries were not so relaxed.

Stupidly watching for half a day without getting any useful information.

The only thing they could be sure of was that the mother wasn't a good person; she liked to eat the father.

And it seems the mother would likely eat the daughter who made mistakes too.

Sun Wei had just stated herself, "If someone else pleads for his case next time, I'll eat them both!"

Another point was that the cold-hearted little loli had pleaded at a critical moment and saved Jiang Xiao Yi's life.

The family hierarchy seemed to be: Mother > Grandfather > Children > Chosen One > Big Yellow Dog.

Well, at least the Chosen One's status isn't worse than the dog's.

...

A lawmaker from Sakura Country pushed open the door and bowed to the Prime Minister lying in the chair.

"Prime Minister, we're not sure what changes this meal may bring; why not pass the information we've got to Meichuan Neiku-san?"

The Prime Minister of Sakura Country contemplated for a moment, feeling the information was worth passing on.

And so,

Meichuan Neiku, who was wailing in the toilet in the backyard, received the message from Sakura Country.

"Get along with your son; his favorability could save your life at a crucial moment! The mother is not a good person! The family hierarchy is Mother > Grandmother > Children > Chosen One > Big Yellow Dog."

Meichuan Neiku almost vomited his bile before he stopped.

Oh?

Who knew the quiet mother was so powerful?

Though he shouldn't say it, Meichuan Neiku actually found his own wife quite attractive.

Certainly more so than the one he had in Sakura Country.

He had hoped to get lucky tonight, but now it seemed he needed to give it some more thought...

As for his relationship with his son, Meichuan Neiku had confidence in that.

Although the kid was a bit dirty, he was quite clingy to him.

Big Yellow Dog... as of now, seemed utterly useless, of no help whatsoever.

Grandmother... Meichuan Neiku wished he could kill the old hag without Sakura Country's reminder!

The heartfelt kiss they shared earlier had caused him lifelong psychological trauma!

"Dad! Mom's calling you for dinner!"

Dabao shouted loudly from the living room towards the backyard.

"Got it! You guys start eating! I... I..."

I'll just wail for a while longer.

I can still taste it in my mouth!

"Dad! If you don't come now, Mom's going to get angry!"

Gosh, damn it!

Meichuan Neiku rushed to wash his face and hurried back to the living room ready for dinner.

Since Meichuan Neiku's mother wasn't immobile like Jiang Xiao's father, the four of them ate together.

Seeing the old lady's bark-like face, Meichuan Neiku's stomach churned again.

Acid reached his throat but he forced it back down.

He couldn't vomit; if he did, he'd surely die!

Meichuan Neiku's wife, Zhou Qin, had prepared three dishes:

Salted edamame, cucumber salad, and boiled peanuts.

Tch, these dishes were downright void of any meaty flavor.

Even Big Yellow Dog, after scoping out the scene, lost interest and sulkily went back to the backyard to lie down.

But Meichuan Neiku was rather pleased.

With his current appetite, he couldn't stomach meat; and seeing the old lady's extreme taste, it was all too easy to wail.

Compared to that, he could manage the vegetarian dishes.

Meichuan Neiku had no complaints, but the netizens from Sakura Country were upset.

"What the! Why is our Chosen One's food so poor!"

"Dragon Country has two meat dishes, so much meat! This is unfair, damn it!!"

Other than Sakura Country, Korea was the loudest in their protests because their Chosen One's midday food was also very modest.

Pickled radish, fried dried radish, and boiled radish pieces.

"Ah, geez..."

"Even our dog eats better than this, seriously!"

No need to compare with Dragon Country, they couldn't even match up to Sakura Country!

These two countries have always been petty, always nitpicking; everyone just saw them as clowns.

After all, the place where they grew up is so small, how expansive could their demeanor be?

```

Absolutely no decorum~

Just as Meichuan Neiku was about to start eating, the old granny held her cheek and let out a long sigh.

"Granny, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

Big Fatty put down his chopsticks and asked with concern.

"Oh, my dear grandchild, this old woman's teeth are really no good anymore, it's so exhausting..."

"Mom, next meal I'll cook the food softer for you~"

Zhou Qin also smiled and spoke, indicating that she would take the old lady's needs into account when preparing food in the future.

The old lady smacked her lips, mumbling somewhat disgruntledly.

"It's not just about this meal or the next, ah, my grandchild, you don't know about your father when he was little..."

Meichuan Neiku felt a jolt in his heart.

Dammit.

Why bring me up all of a sudden?

Big Fatty, on the other hand, was very interested; he loved hearing Granny tell embarrassing stories from his dad's childhood, and kept asking incessantly.

The old lady turned to Meichuan Neiku with a sweet smile.

"Alas, your grandfather died early, plus we were poor when your dad was a child."

"I remember when Neiku was a baby and didn't have teeth to eat solid food, we couldn't afford baby food, and the villagers said your dad would surely starve to death. They advised us to give him away, but guess what in the end?"

"What happened?"

"I mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes in a bowl, then chewed them up and fed your dad mouthful by mouthful."

Having said this, the old lady sighed again.

"But as people age, they must accept it, and now my teeth aren't what they used to be, sigh~"

That sigh made both Big Fatty and Zhou Qin fix their gaze on Meichuan Neiku.

Meichuan Neiku's body trembled!

Wang Defa?!

Your teeth are no good?

When I was kissing you, I carefully licked around your gum line.

Apart from the smell of death and the seriously yellow teeth, everything else seemed perfectly normal.

You even had un-decayed molars!

"Dad, Granny was so good to you when you were small, and you often teach me that filial piety comes first..."

"Husband, for the task at hand, who else but you!"

Damn who else but me!

Meichuan Neiku instantly turned ashen, and even his hand holding the chopsticks began to tremble.

"Ah... gosh, no, it won't do, you can't do this to me."

Seeing Meichuan Neiku refusing, the old grandma chuckled.

"It's alright, son, do you really not want to feed me?"

Meichuan Neiku hesitated for a moment, but ultimately shook his head firmly.

He didn't want to play French serpent's kiss with the old lady, no matter what!

"Fine then, I'll ask you one more question, do you still remember what your dad's name is?"

The latter looked completely baffled; how would he know his dad's name.

Could it be Meichuan Underpants?

Seeing Meichuan Neiku unable to answer, the family of three all laid down their chopsticks.

Big Fatty licked his lips, looking like a little glutton.

"Mom, what does it mean that Dad doesn't know Grandpa's name?"

Zhou Qin, too, lost the virtuous demeanor she had earlier, turned around bizarrely and went back to the kitchen to grab a cleaver.

"Tickle tickle tickle, that means this dad is a fake."

The old lady crooked her head and bit into her own finger; crunch—so crisp.

Blood flowed from the old lady's mouth and severed finger, spilling all over the table.

How the hell does it look like she has bad teeth!

"My dear grandony, do you want to eat a finger? I remember you used to love sweet and salty tastes when you were small..."

Just quit bringing up when I was small already!

Meichuan Neiku stood up in horror, trying to run outside.

"No! I'm not a fake dad, listen to me, actually..actually, that's right! Actually, I have amnesia!"

"Well done, worthy of being my good husband, such a good excuse found, so clever! But what a pity~"

[Rule Seven: Always remember that you are a father. You must play your role in the family well, absolutely cannot show fear or slip up, letting your family see any flaws.]

Whoosh!

Meichuan Neiku's head flew high into the air, his dying eyes filled with fear and despair.

Barely half a day and already died once?

"Big Fatty, since this dad is so clever, go on, dig out his brain for you to nourish yourself~"

Big Fatty's saliva had already dripped onto his clothing; yes, he liked brains.

The old lady next to him was slurping her mouth watering to get a share.

"I don't want the cerebrum, cerebellum, or brain matter, but you have to leave something like the brain stem or brain kernel for me, this old lady, ha."

"Hmph! Old and refusing to die, look at the table, all your blood, clean it up before you talk!"

The live stream in Dragon Country exploded.

Idiot!

A big fat idiot!

Just like that, broke rule seven!

[Yikes! Oh my, what an operation, even a dog would shake its head at that!]

[My heart is so confused right now! Neiku-kun is such an idiot, to die so quickly! Unbelievable!]

[Kamikaze, no worries, Neiku-san has many lives, S-rank talent isn't just any common cannon fodder!]

```