Garth Brooks in Her Living Room

Alex folded the letter and put it on the coffee table. He turned and looked at her. Her face was tear-stained.

"I'm going to be sick." She got up and sprinted to the sink. She retched and coughed. Her stomach muscles uncomfortably flexed.

She had her hands braced on the sink with her head hanging down. "Eternally yours? What a bunch of horse shit! And I know a lot about horse shit," she said.

"Allie, I'm so sorry. I know I should not have continued to read that to you."

"I told you to. You did what I asked you to do." She made her way to the couch.

"I know but I should have on insisted harder. My only reason for being alive is to protect you and now our Peanut from anything and everything and anyone. Even if it is your fiancé," he said. "I'm here because I didn't like you being here alone when you found out about the baby. I know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn't always have to."

I caught that. Did you catch that?

"What? Could you please give us some privacy?"

Yeah, sorry, Allie.

"First, it's ex-fiancé. Second, I knew this was going to happen. I knew that he was not going to be able to go undercover. It's such a mental game. Every UCA I know and compared notes with told me about their experiences, and 99% of them end up needing therapy to drop the newly engrained persona they have had to live," she said. "I am not sure I understand what he said about starting the relationship, but it was early, and he didn't know it was going to be useful; how long do you think he waited, Alex?"

"I wonder how many women one has to sleep with before they become addicted to women?" Alex said.

"I don't know Alex. You tell me you have had your share of women in the past!"

He took her hand. "I'm not him, Allie. Don't ever confuse what he did with what I have done. I have waited almost five years to be here with you. I stayed faithful to a woman I had zero chance of ever getting back. So, do not confuse or compare me to him," he said with pain in his voice.

"I'm sorry. I am just so hurt and angry. Forgive me. I didn't mean it. I'm so emotional," she said.

He kissed her hands. "Look at my face. I can't even imagine what you feel like right now. Of course, I won't forgive you because you did nothing wrong."

"I don't deserve you in my life," she said. "I wonder what the other girl was like. The one that reminded him of me. Do you think she was prettier than me?"

"No one could ever compare to you, Cara Mia."

He wanted to kiss her so badly. He wanted to take her pain away.

"I can't be mad at the other woman. She didn't know he was lying to her. This is all on him. But I can still think she's a---"

Say it, Allie. Please, for the love of God, say it! She is a member of the C U Next Tuesday club.

"Malibu, I totally agree with you, but I won't say that out loud in front of Alex."

Allie slumped back on the couch. Alex put his arm around her and pulled her close. Just like the first day Dean left, she buried her face in his neck and shed a deluge of tears. He kissed her on the top of her head.

"Even if he was forced to start the relationship in the best interests of the case, he didn't have to do anything else with anyone else. God, do you have any idea how stupid I feel waiting for him?"

"I know Allie, and I know this hurts-"

"Do you, though? Alex, before he left for this stupid fucking assignment, Dean had slept with a total of three people. Me being one of them. And everyone he had slept with, he was sure he loved them. He went from 0 to man whore in 6 months! Did he really think telling me he wrapped his package would make me feel better?" she asked rhetorically. "What, like I was going to be falling over myself to thank him for not bringing home herpes!"

"Three people? Well, that makes me a man whore too."

"Did you ever need professional help for your, what did you call it? You're love of beautiful women."

"No. Plus, that behavior stopped when I met you," he said. "You do not know the whole story; I'm not sticking up for the guy. Personally, I would like to stick my fist down his throat."

"It doesn't matter what the story is. The man I was supposed to marry did not have a drug problem and an addiction to women. Now, the father of my child does. How am I ever supposed to come back from that? In my honest opinion, there is nothing to fix or reconcile. I know the vows say better or worse, sickness and in health, and I realize addiction is a sickness; addiction starts with no intention of becoming an addict. But we didn't get a chance to say those vows. I do understand addiction, I know, because I'm an alcoholic."

WOW, Caretaker, you have never admitted that.

"Being sober these past five months has taught me something. I quit drinking because I was pregnant. I have no desire to start again. I can't say it doesn't cross my mind, but as you said when you came to me, I was heading in the wrong direction. I think one reason I got pregnant was because if I kept drinking, I was going to die. The absence of it in my life has made things better and clearer."

You hit your rock bottom.

"I hit rock bottom and am glad I did; otherwise, this little peanut would have serious issues when its birthday comes around."

"Alex, do you think this would have all gone down the same way if we were married before he left? Would he still have done all of that? If he planned on staying faithful and then went ahead with it, I don't think being married would have made a difference. What do you think?" she asked.

"I wish I had the right answer. I would say most definitely, but that's only because I dislike him. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I've quit my job. I'm going to be a single parent. How will I do this on my own? Is it worth taking him back just so my baby can have their father?"

"Only you can make that decision, and it will be tough, so do not make it right away. So, what happens next?

"What happens next? I'm going to sit next to my best friend, and I'm going to cry," she said, her voice a quiver.

"I think that might be a good start. But I have a better idea." Alex stood up and pulled his phone from his pocket. He scrolled through his Spotify.

"Ah, here we go." He held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

She looked at him.

"You won't play Life Ain't Always Beautiful, are you? It totally fits the situation, but I don't have the strength."

"You will never let me live that down, are you?"

"Maybe one day," she said with a laugh.

He put his hand out, and she took it. He selected the song and put his phone on the couch.

"This song reminds me of you."

The sweet sound of Garth Brooks filled the room.

'She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice.

A little crazy, but it's nice.

And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone.

Cause she'll rage just like a river.

Then she'll beg you to forgive her.

Ohhhhh! She's every woman that I've ever known.′

′And it needs no explanation.

Cause it all makes perfect sense.

For when it comes down to temptation.

She's on both sides of the fence.′

'She's anything but typical.

She's so unpredictable.

Oh but even at her worst it ain't that bad.

She's as real as real can be.

And she's every fantasy.

Lord, she's every lover that I've ever had.

And she's every lover that I've never had.′

"Can this be our song? I would love to have a song with you."

She had her head resting on his chest. Her eyes were closed, and they swayed together. For a moment, she was back at Ava's dancing with Dean. She was devastated by what Alex had just read to her. If he hadn't been there and she had just read the letter by herself, she'd not have been sure how the day could have ended. She was so mad at Dean. How could he have done this? Natalie had said that when she took him to the airport, he said he would be faithful to me. She had already decided to wait even before knowing his plan. She just felt better knowing that they both wanted the same thing. That when he came home, they could have a life together. Now, here she was, five and a half months pregnant, and she had just found out the father of her child was a drug and sex addict. The thought of it made her hold Alex tighter.

"Allie?"

She looked up at him.

"I need to tell you something," he said.

"What? I don't know how much more my brain can take today."

"I never stopped loving you. Not even for a day. I'm deeply in love with you. I can't even express in actual words how much I care about you. I have been carrying a candle for you since the day you left. I'm an idiot, you know."

"What do you mean by that? You are not an idiot. At least not that I know of."

"I haven't been in a committed relationship with anyone since you. I was hoping for you to come back. You never dated anyone else till Dean. I thought that one day, my chance would come back around. That night at Jake's was my greatest night in years. Then, the next day, when you made it abundantly clear you wanted nothing to do with me, it was like being tasered. I know you love Dean, even as hurt as you are. I have loved you longer and believe I've loved you better than he ever can."

"Oh, Alex." She put her hand on his cheek. "You have been my anchor through this storm. I do love Dean. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets back. Right now, I don't ever want to see him again. But I know I'm going to have to at some point," she said, putting her hand on her belly.

The baby rolled around inside of her. "I've been waiting for this storybook ending, sitting in the tower waiting for my prince to return. And now I find out he's been in someone else's castle almost the entire time I have been waiting for him."

Well, that's one subtle way to put it.

"I just need you to know. If I were to die tomorrow and had not told you how I feel, I would be doomed to wander this earth because of the regret I feel," he said.

Malibu was standing in front of her, looking pained.

He's right, Allie. I know exactly what he's talking about. Getting stuck here for regret is an awful eternity.

"You know you may not be my prince, but you are definitely my knight in shining armor. Dean is more of an asshole in tin foil," she said.

She put her head back on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. "Did you ever stop and think about how beautiful a beating heart sounds?" she asked. "The first time I heard the baby's heartbeat, I thought it was the most beautiful rhythm I had ever heard. It sounded like a galloping horse."

"I guess I never really thought about it."

"It's strange how it takes time for love to evolve between two people, but the second you find out a baby is growing inside you, the love is deep, strong, and instantaneous."

"Allie, what if you weren't pregnant?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What if you weren't pregnant? Would you have any thoughts on seeing Dean again? Would you want to let him back into your life?"

"I don't know. Either way, I am pregnant, so the question is moot," she said.

"But is it? Just because you're having his baby doesn't mean you have to be with him. Let me take care of you and the baby. Let me show you how you deserve to be treated."

Allie didn't say anything.

"He's not going to be able to handle the responsibilities when he's trying to maintain his sobriety. AA tells them not to start dating or any new relationship for the first year. The addict needs to focus on themselves. How is he going to be able to handle repairing your relationship? Let alone raise the baby?" he asked.

Alex is right.

Allie looked at Malibu. "You said his real name."

Because I'm being real serious.