No Surprise

"I can't say that I'm surprised. I was actually wondering how long it was going to take. I figured it would be at least till you were discharged."

"Mi Vida. I'm not sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I hurt you, but not for making love to Dean."

"Even after all he did to you?" he asked.

"Why do people keep alluding to something? He left for an OP, we broke up, and I decided to wait. He didn't know I would wait, so I took advantage of that, and we ended up together."

The look Alex shot Dean could have burned a hole straight through his face. He sneered and slowly shook his head. "You think that's what happened?"

"I don't think I know. I'm so sorry, Dean. I feel horrible, but I was scared to be alone. I was sad and lonely, pregnant, and so horny."

"It's OK, Buttercup. I'm sure it was hard. I wish you would have waited for me to come back."

Alex looked like he was going to shoot Dean in cold blood. "If you could get your clothes on, Dean, I'd appreciate it. We need to talk now."

"I think you're in trouble," she said.

"Oh, I don't think you're getting out of this either, Buttercup."

Dean went to the bathroom to get dressed.

"You don't regret fucking him in the shower?"

"First of all, watch your language around Peanut. She knows your voice. Secondly, yes, I have no regrets."

Alex looked unbelievably devastated.

"I love you. No cell in my body doesn't love you and that baby girl. I never even dreamed of being with anyone else. And it's not from a lack of offers. It was out of love, honor, and commitment to you both. I thought of all the people you would uphold those. I did everything you asked of me. I have loved you at your best, and I have loved you at your worst. And I have loved you longer than he ever can. The only thing that differs is that he got you pregnant. The second time we were together for a minute, I thought I could have gotten you pregnant and felt just a twinge of excitement. Regret it, don't regret it. What's done is done. I never have and never will stop loving you. I wanted to marry you six years ago, and I wanted to marry you six minutes ago. Why did you do this? What hurts the most is I would still marry you. I love you. I want to be Peanut's daddy. I wanted us to be a family."

"I can't help that I am in love with both of you."

He kissed her so hard they could feel their teeth through their lips. He left the room without another word. Dean met Alex in the hallway.

"Downstairs, now."

To embarrass Dean, he took him by the arm and led him out of the ICU.

"Damn, man, you have nice triceps. You'll have to give me your routine," Alex said.

"Really, dude?"

"Gotta keep up with the competition."

He led Dean outside through the Ambulance Bay.

"In my defense, it was my day to visit," Dean said with a smirk.

"In your defense? Man, that's rich."

"So, did you bring me out here to kill me?"

"Oh, trust me, the thought did cross my mind."

"Then why are we here? Are we going to fight again? Dear God, please tell me we are going to fight again."

"Is that how you solve all your problems?"

"It is nowadays."

"You need to work on that, or I will see you somewhere besides her room. Back of my shop, most likely," he said. "Then again, I am willing if you are. But you know it's not going to solve anything. It will most likely piss her off. Our wounds can't heal while she's in a coma this time."

"Like I said upstairs, I'm game."

"I never did ask you."

"And what would that be?"

"How soon after she woke up did she ask for me? Or did she think you were me because I was the one she actually wanted there?" he asked. "You may have had her in the shower just now, Dean, but when she gets out of here, I'm the one who's taking her home. Not you. Oh, Dean, I think you have a little something right there."

He thumbed his nose like a third-base coach.

Dean swung first. Alex was expecting it and ducked. Dean's momentum made him pivot slightly.

Alex took off his duty belt. "Alright, mother fucker, game on," he said. "Without the sucker punch."

They circled each other like two fighters in a cage. Dean lunged forward. Alex grabbed Dean by the thighs. Dean was now down on one knee. Alex pushed up with his left leg, picking him up and throwing him down. Dean was now on his back, the wind knocked out of him, gasping to fill his lungs.

"I am going to let you get up. I am not done kicking your lying fucking bitch ass."

Giving him time to scramble to his feet. He charged Alex, who gave him a hook kick, striking him in his chest, throwing Dean back, and leaving a boot print on his shirt. He was slammed up against the concrete wall of the ambulance bay. Dean kipped up off the wall, charging at him. He pressed his forearm up against Alex's neck, grabbed the back of it, and spun him around till they were shoulder blade to shoulder blade. Dean squeezed his gigantic bicep, cutting off Alex's airway.

"Tell me why I shouldn't just fucking kill you right now!"

Alex threw his head back, hitting the back of Dean's head. He immediately released him.

Alex fell to one knee, now facing him. He was a candy apple red. He squeaked out one word while rubbing his throat.

"Peanut. Peanut," he said again. "Allie and Peanut. Do you want to kill me for being there for her, Dean? You go right ahead. I know you're capable of it. I've seen it in your eyes. But if you kill me, you go to jail, and they are both fucking alone."

"Fuck." Dean thought about it rationally.

He took out his hand and helped him to his feet. Alex brushed himself off.

"And you know as well as I do that she'll stay alone, not letting anyone into her life. I don't know how big that wire transfer was, but no matter the amount, she'll never ask anyone for help. She will go into hiding with your baby. Your parents, your sister, Bruss, Makayla, they will never see either of them again. She knows too many places she can go. She's been almost everywhere."

"Fuck," Dean said. He was rubbing his chest. "That fucking hurt."

"Getting strangled didn't tickle dick head. We've got to stop this. I don't know what you want to do, but this isn't going to go over well with her. Look, I love her. I love her with everything I have and everything I am. I loved her far before you even knew of her existence. I love that baby like mine. AND, I know she's not mine, but damn, man, I've been here for everything. She let me back in. She asked for help. I wasn't going to say no. I've held a candle for years. YEARS. Every day that has passed, I have loved her more. They say time heals, not when it comes to her. Every time I saw her, that flame I held for her burned me. Over and over. She does that to a person. You know that just as well as I do unless your lust blew that flame out." Jesus Christ! Look, I only wanted to protect her and provide what they needed. She wasn't prepared for something this life-altering, and she couldn't do it alone. We have a long history, longer than yours will ever be. You got her to agree to marry you. How could you fuck that up, Dean? I can't even fathom doing ANYTHING like what you did. Do you know what they used to call me back when I first met her? Jugador. Do you know what that means?"

"It means player."

"Yes. They used to call me the player Dean. I hadn't been with anyone since I was last with her before I was blessed to be with her again. Why? Because my body wanted to preserve and savor the last time I was with her. I didn't want to lose that."

"That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. Romantic but sad."

"Yeah, I've heard that somewhere before. You were not a Jugador when you left. Three people, man. Three, and the last one was her. You didn't want to savor that for as long as you possibly could? I thought you loved her more than that. I thought you wanted to give her the world. You promised to stay with her forever. And you know what pisses me off the most? She will pick you every time, no matter what you've done, because you gave her the one thing her heart desired most. I couldn't make her a mom. But you did. So, congratulations, Dean. You got to fuck your brains out, get high every day, get your dick sucked, and still get the girl. That's why I wish I could kill you. That's why I despise you so fucking much. That's why we are fucking ambulance bay kicking the shit out of each other."

Dean didn't know what to say. He couldn't blame him for wanting to protect her. He was there. No matter how many blows they come to, that will never change. There are no do-overs. Unlike every other agent in that building, he could have easily quit. Allie was more important than a fucking job. Losing it all to bring down Giordano. Every word that just came out of his mouth was the truth. And he got the prize for the most loyal person in her life. Congratulations Saint Alvarez.

"I have a question. Don't you dare fucking don't lie."

"You don't want me to fucking lie? That's rich. I am bound to tell the truth. You don't deserve the truth. But I am not you. So, alright. What?"

"Did she wait? Everyone says she did, but come on? There is no way she stayed faithful that long, being how she once was. There was someone sometime, I'm sure. I think it was you. I saw you at the bar the day I left. You seemed awfully friendly. Did you play darts? Or hide and seek under a table?"

"Jesus Christ, I don't know what you think you know. Do you know she had sex with seven people her entire life? And she wanted years between them."

"Fuck no. I call bullshit on that."

Alex started counting on his fingers.

"One guy was her junior year, but she had to move. One guy was her senior year, and she was going to go to prom with him, but she moved. One guy shortly after she went into the core; they were together for well over a year. He cheated on her, and then he died. Then, she was with a firefighter two years after him. He cheated on her, too. She had a friend with benefits. It was someone she had already known from her time in the military who happened to live in Cleveland. She was with someone, but she never talked about him. I don't have a good feeling about that one. All she would say is there was another guy. There was me. She was with you. You cheated on her. She had one night with an ex. Then she was back with me. Add those up? She had an undeserved reputation," He was growing angry. "

"What difference does it make how many she slept with? She has never slept around. She was in relationships, besides the FWB, with people she dated. Dean, just because she was beautiful and guys fawned over her. Oh. She was with a woman, but that didn't last exceptionally long. Why? She cheated on her too. She has a type; cheating assholes. Two, she wasn't with me, and no matter how long I was with her, I would never have cheated on her. As I said, Malibu was Semper Fi, one who never saw her again, the one she won't talk about, and me being truly and madly in love with her. She never cheated on you. She knew how bad it felt. She was never a bunk bunny or a rack rat. How stupid it made her feel. Do you understand why she hesitates to say I love you?"

"So, to answer your question. Did she wait? She waited till the letter came. Our being together happened immediately afterward. But until then, she waited, nonetheless. Like I said, I barely had the thing folded up and put it back in the envelope, and she was already peeling off my clothes. I don't care if it was out of spite, desperation, hurt, hormones, or love. I know it was the second greatest night of my life." he said. "Now, my turn."

"Well, got she got over me awfully quick. Just because I asked you something doesn't mean I will freely give up any of my information."

"Did you really think I wasn't going to ask you something? How about this? I will ask you two questions, and you will answer one. Don't lie. I have gotten close to Bruss. I can tell if you're lying. If you lie, I will drag everyone in here who read the letter, and we will have an intervention with her."

"Fuck. I guess I have no choice."

"Oh, Dean, as Allie says, you always have a choice, Cowboy. Now I want to know how much sexual contact do you need to develop a sex addiction?"

"You want to know how many I slept with?"

"We're talking intercourse, blow jobs, women you serviced, or men. I'm a very progressive kind of guy. I don't judge."

Dean thought about it. If he told him that, he would tell Allie. Even if he promised not to, in fact, God, just the time he would need to figure it out, it's an obscene number. I am a fucking idiot.

"What other choice do I have?"

"Huh, well, that says a lot about what that answer might be. Alright. How long did it take before you dipped your stick into the swamp? Can we play high or low? Hot or cold? We should at least make it fun!"

Dean's jaw clenched over and over.

"So, which number do you want to play with? How many fucks does it take to be, what did you call Allie that one time? Bunk bunny? How long did it take for you to start hopping around, Dean?"

Dean looked away. He couldn't look Alex in the eyes. He knows damn well he wasn't lying when he said he would tell her about the letter. He didn't think he had a tell, but if he did, Bruss would be able to find it, so it's possible he could, too.

"No, look me in the eye. When you confess, you should look someone in the eye."

Dean ran his hand down his face. I think the number of women is the worst. "Fuck it. Five weeks."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Can you repeat that, please?" Alex asked.

Dean looked up at the sky and shook his head. He repeated it through gritted teeth. "I was there five weeks. I had no--"

Alex thought about what had occurred five weeks after he had left. The bender she went on. The bottle of pills she swallowed. She was so distraught over him being gone, and he was fucking his first whore.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! FIVE FUCKING WEEKS! THIRTY-FIVE DAYS! THIRTY-FIVE FUCKING DAYS! AND YOU HAD THE NERVE TO CALL ME A COCK SUCKER! YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE ON THIS PLANET! YOU DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHAT SHE HAS GONE THROUGH BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER 'FARMBOY' SO BADLY. AND YOU HAD NO WHAT? CHOICE? FIRST OF ALL, NO, YOU DON'T. I READ THE LETTER TO HER, REMEMBER! ANOTHER IDEA. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD THEM YOU HAD YOUR PERIOD BECAUSE YOU JACKASS ARE A LITTLE BITCH! YOUR BABY WAS ONLY FIVE WEEKS ALONG AND YOU ARE FUCKING OTHER WOMEN!"

His words echoed loudly through the empty bay.

"AND YOU KISSED HER WITH THAT MOUTH AND YOU SCREWED HER WITH THAT DICK! WITH YOUR BABY INSIDE HER! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! OR DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME ANYMORE?"

So much for their truce, Dean swung, smashing into Alex's jaw. A tooth flew out and hit the asphalt.

Alex was trying his best not to pass out. He was dizzy, and his vision blurred. He was bending over with his hands on his knees, spitting blood onto the pavement.

"Just stay the fuck away from her, and we won't have a problem," Dean warned.

Alex stood up, reared his leg back, and his foot came right between Dean's legs.

He dropped like a concrete block.

"Four years on my college Rugby team, bitch. Full scholarship. Don't ever fucking mess with a Tennessee Vol."

He spit more blood out; it landed on the ground two inches from his face.

Dean was curled up in the fetal position. Alex put his boot on the side of Dean's neck.

"Now. This is over. Do we understand each other?" Alex said, putting more pressure on his neck. "I am not staying away from anyone, understand? If you don't understand, we can continue our conversation." He put more pressure on Dean, and his face turned red.

"Fuck you, Alvarez."

"Fuck me? Fuck me? You will fuck anything, won't you? Cock sucker, I could kill you right now. And you know it. You are in no condition to defend yourself, and your lips have started to turn blue. Again, do we understand each other?"

"Crystal," he croaked out."

"Good," he says, slapping the side of his face. Twice."

Alex left him on the ground, holding his nuts until he was able to breathe again and move again. Then Alex put out his hand and helped Dean up.

"Good thing I already procreated," He squeaked out.

"Good thing I stopped. I could have crushed your neck with my boot."

"Yeah, I do realize that. Why did you stop?"

"Certainly not for your benefit," Alex said.

"Sorry about the tooth."

"Sorry about the sterilization."

"You need to check that anger, man," he said, picking up his duty belt.

"I'm working on it every Tuesday and Friday at three-thirty."

Dean was holding his crotch.

"May I suggest you add another day and maybe put a little more effort into it?" Alex tightened his belt. "You know we have to go back upstairs, right?"

"This isn't going to go over well, is it?" Dean asked.

"Maybe she's back in the coma." Alex rubbed his jaw and spit out more blood. "I think you dislocated my jaw. If you mess up my face, I will bring you back down here and crush your neck."

"Maybe I should have let you kill me." Dean ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry. And I am sorry that I slept with Allie. I couldn't say no. She is so beautiful, swollen with my baby girl. I just wanted to be with her one time while she was. I just wanted to be with her, even if it did end in a broken neck. And don't worry, you're still pretty."

"Awe. Come here. Hug Daddy," Alex said.

"Biggest prick ever."

"Biggest asshole in the history of the world. You should be proud; there were some major assholes on this earth."

"And I do have the biggest prick ever. Regardless of what Bruss says."

"Fucker."

"Fuck her? Yes, I did that too."

He smiled.

"That was unnecessary."

"Oh, come on. Now, bring it in," Dean said.

They clasped hands, pulled each other in, and quickly bumped chests. Your standard "bro hug."

"I don't know about you, but have you noticed she's not right? I mean, she's not herself. Allie would never have cheated on you, Alex. You were one of the few that were, as you said, Semper Fi. And with every time she has been cheated on, she would never have done that before."

"I know she apologized for swearing. She called Peanut a miracle. The first time we met, we had a forty-five-minute debate about how miracles don't exist. Have you noticed anything else?" Alex asked.

"Besides the fact she has forgotten half of her torrid past? The doctor called it compartmental dissociative amnesia. He told me her personality might be different because of the way she remembers or doesn't remember things. She may no longer process them. Or they are buried in various parts of her brain."

"I think we could learn a little something from her. Maybe we need to start burying things in a separate part too."

"Dude, I will be more than happy to slam your head on the wall a few times. See if it does any good."

"I have no doubt," Alex said. "I would do anything to be with her in the end. That does include me killing you." He flashed a toothy smile. "I'm not joking either. I will bury you."

"I never knew your feelings ran so deep for her. Sometimes, I think I don't deserve her; I don't even know if I ever have. I can blame so much on everything I did. The drugs, the sex, the shift in personality."

"Shift? You think it's just a shift? Dude, add two more days."

"Lola believes I was a product of Stockholm syndrome. I was told what to do and when to do it, and I was never to question why. I became an I.V. user man. You were right. I shot up, and I loved it. I loved the Coke from the very first line I took. I loved the women. I loved the attention, the sex, the fooling around. After a while, I even enjoyed the violence. I looked forward to it. I fucked people up that didn't even do anything to warrant it. How can I be a father after all that?" he asked.

"You may have doubts, but you need to figure it out. And fast. Your baby girl will be here in three weeks. You need to be on your best behavior. You had, Jesus Christ, you have everything right now. And you're right. You don't deserve any of it. I DESERVE her. I was there. I stayed faithful to a woman I knew would never love me again if you came back. I DID. Blame it on what you want. Excuses don't explain, and explanations don't excuse. Someone I admire very much once said that."

He pounded his heart aggressively with his fist.

"You are such a fucking asshole, Dean. If you were a real man, you would tell her about the letter, the sex, the drugs, even the violence. She needs to know who you are. Who you still maybe."

He poked Dean in the chest where he had kicked him.

"JESUS CHRIST. Are you trying to make me hit you again?" he asked.

"Why? Am I wrong? Tell me ONE THING... I SAID... that was wrong," he said. "I will stand here till hell freezes over, waiting for you to tell me. And this is Cleveland. It can be hell, and it can freeze over."

Dean looked up and walked around in a small circle, putting his hands behind his head and pulling at his neck.

"FUCK YOU ALVAREZ! FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. YOU WAITING FOR HER IS ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC," Dean yelled, making it echo through the bay this time.

"She didn't think so when Shelly told her on your perfect date night. Maybe that's why she came to me for comfort, help, and support. I'm still waiting for that thing I said wrong or that swing you want to take at me. Don't knock out another tooth if you don't mind."

Alex just stood there. Dean wanted to. He wanted to. Well, Mikey wanted to. But he's not in control anymore, not if Dean can help. He put out his hand. "Truce, for real this time."

Alex shook his hand, each trying to squeeze the hardest.

"You were only trying to do the right thing while I was doing the wrong thing," Dean said.

"Dude, do you have ANY fucking idea how bipolar you sound? You agree with me, then you want to kill me, you say I'm right, then you want to knock out another tooth. You have SO much work to do on yourself," Alex said.

"I'm working on it."

"Well, may I---"

"Suggest I try harder? You're a prick. You know that, right?" Dean asked.

"Yep," Alex answered with a condescending smile.

"And you may not have noticed, but you're a little off your rocker sometimes, too."

"Well, I'll get off the porch if you get off the iceberg."

"What? Oh, I get it... Bi-POLAR as in bear."

"I can see you as 'bear," Alex said with a laugh.

"I have absolutely no body hair. Not to mention, not even an act of God would put me behind or below a man."

*If God had a whole lot of alcohol and blow, I do enjoy the occasional blowjob from a good-looking man.*

Shut up, Mikey.

*That was only a couple of times. Seven, it was seven times.*

Go back to what every hole in my brain you crawl out of.

*He's pretty good-looking.*

Mikey, I am not you. You liked that you were into that kind of thing, not me.

*Yeah, we'll go with that.*

"You know you want me," Alex said, making kissy noises.

"I want you to go swan dive off a cliff. Does that count?"

"We have to go upstairs and face mom."

"You first. She loved you more recently," Dean said as they started to make their way back into the hospital.

"No, you go. She thinks she cheated on you and feels guilty."

"Well, she DID cheat on you, so the guilt is very fresh."

"Why didn't I just kill you?"