Failure

Returning from his failure of a journey felt long and arduous for Yatsuho, with much the the travel passing by in silence, but it was not his inability to see his revenge through hat kept him quiet, no it was a thought of growing stronger that drowned out his emotions.

Yatsuho felt angry at the warrior that ended their fight prematurely, but it was not due to him stopping them but his own weakness. It repulsed him, the same sickening feeling of having given up made his steps heavier, he gasped for air and closed his eyes to focus his thoughts but he only saw his mother as she was being violated and burned at the stake.

"Why….didn't….you….killlll…..hiiiimm? Why….didn't….you….avenge….me?" the apparition of his mother howled as he looked at her unable to move.

"Why….didn't….you….killlll…..hiiiimm? Why….didn't….you….avenge….me?Why….didn't….you….killlll…..hiiiimm? Why….didn't….you….avenge….me?Why….didn't….you….killlll…..hiiiimm? Why….didn't….you….avenge….me?" it kept on howling as Yatsuho watched the carbonized skeletal remains grip his throat to strangle him unable to move.

Yatsuho jerked awake, his forehead beaded with sweat, heaving heavily. He had passed out on the road alone, Enketsu to be seen nowhere. Yatsuho lifted himself up with much difficulty his whole body felt as if it was breaking, whenever he moved his arms chills crept up his spine; he had come down with a nasty fever.

He stumbled as he tried to walk further, his legs betraying him lost all strength and Yatsuho fell face first and his mouth clutched the ground, the impact broke his nose and it bled profusely. Yatsuho laid there his face dirty and bloodied; he gave up on getting up as the feverish sleep fell on him.

It was not until much later that he woke up fatigued, "He's coming to" Yatsuho thought he heard a familiar voice but he soon fell back into the swamp like embrace of sleep.

Yatsuho woke up again but now in a different place altogether here he it was pitch black and he could not make out the directions, the floor was flooded but out in the distance he could make out a flame perhaps a lantern? Not knowing where to go Yatsuho begins walking towards it, but the closer he got the further the flame felt as if it was running from him, felling frustrated Yatsuho's steps turned into strides but even then he could not get much closer.

He would have given up but he felt a pull towards the flame it felt like a part of him, a lost, broken part and he yearned to get it back. Soon Yatsuho lost any sense of time it felt as if he was running for an eternity but at the same time as if only moments had elapsed but still the light showed no sign of getting closer.

Soon he stopped, his body felt heavier he was sinking into the damp floor, first his toes then his feet and when he sank till his hips, he tried to call out something but his lips didn't move or more like they couldn't move, they felt paralyzed. Unable to say anything Yatsuho kept on sinking further and just when he was about to drown—he woke up.

Yatsuho woke up paralyzed from weakness, unable to even move his lips much less his body. He continued to stare at the familiar wooden ceiling but he couldn't recall why it felt familiar. Seemingly, the answer of his worries soon entered the room with her hunched back, followed by the kind of warmth that soothed the ailing and repaired the broken.

It was granny Masako, who came in carrying a pot of boiled water and some towels.

"Aah. You're up." she said placing the pot and towels beside Yatsuho "How are you feeling?" she sat beside Yatsuho as she began wetting the towels smiling feebly all the while.

"How did you find me?" Yatsuho asked straining to speak. He found no need to ask how he got there figuring that they must have found him when he was passed out.

"We tried to find you as soon as you left but by then we had lost you," She spoke to Yatsuho but her attention was towards wringing the towels and cleaning Yatsuho's sweat "We only found you yesterday passed out from fever on the road and we brought you here."

"You mumble in your sleep." the same girl from the festival said giggling much like she did when she danced, seeing her Yatsuho wondered what her name was, his eyebrows knitted close together as he struggled to remember, to his horror he didn't remember any other children's name either but was sure they had introduced themselves or did they?

"No, no, no, wait, wait" Yatsuho's thoughts grew frantic as he continued remembered names "I remember Shig, his wife her name was…Yuriko, the girl at the came was Hana but what was the villager's names? What were the names of people in Mura? Why can't I….I don't….I can't remember…"

"Is something wrong my dear?" Granny Masako asked concerned as she saw Yatsuho knitting his eyebrows.

"No-no it's…nothing." Yatsuho replied he wanted to lean on her, to let himself go, become a child again but how could he be so selfish pulling a complete stranger into his problems just to feel…okay?

"Eyes do not lie Yatsuho, they do not know how to lie." she said as if staring at his face but it was not his eyes she was looking at, it was—tears, unbeknownst to Yatsuho he had stared to cry, as the warm tears showed not sign of stopping he grew even more confused.

"I..I…" Yatsuho was cut short as Granny Masako embraced him tightly.

"Shhh. It is alright, you are safe, you do not need be to be afraid anymore."

Unable to stop the tears from flowing any longer Yatsuho let himself go, giving voice to all of his pains not caring about keeping appearances, it seemed like the dam that had been keeping him from showing his emotions had been broken.

"Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Please don't cry." the girl said sniffling, clutching her dress tight with her little hands, clearly distressed about the state Yatsuho was in, but Yatsuho couldn't stop, like a child he continued to let out his emotions all the while making his voice heard.

"What do I do? I don't know…couldn't save them… and now…I failed to avenge them too."

"It's alright. It's been hard I know." her voice was empathetic but even her reply could nothing to soothe Yatsuho. Seeing such she continued, "Change is inevitable you cannot stop it, so is failure there is none and I say none you can do against what has already passed, so embrace the things that you cannot change, and change the the things you cannot accept. That is your duty to ones you loved and the ones that loved you."

For the first time Yatsuho was calm, he still sniffled on occasions like an infant but, he was no doubt calm, he tried to speak but once again his lips contorted into a frown and the tears fell uncontrollably, unable to stop himself he chose to cry, cry until his heart was empty, cry until his mind was clear, cry until his tears drowned the apparitions of his past.

Granny Masako stayed there with him, her presence made Yatsuho feel safe and slowly the sniffling died down, in what seemed like an eternity Yatsuho had completely exhausted himself, now once again slumbering peacefully once. Later when he looks back at this moment he cannot help himself from smiling.

Once again Yatsuho was dropped in the dark flooded place in his dreams with the flame hanging over at the horizon, the first step he took towards it made it go further but this time he chose to speak first.

"How long are you willing to run? Huh Enketsu?" his voice trembled and as if to reply the flame trembled as well, not speaking anything else Yatsuho took steps towards the flame but this time it didn't move and Yatsuho kept on moving towards it, soon he came to face the mighty wolf with the flaming mane but this time Enketsu's flames were only flickering weakly, with its back that seemed starved, its bones that almost protruded made it seem even smaller.

"I am sorry." Enketsu spoke with remorse unable to face Yatsuho

"For what? Losing?" Yatsuho quick in his reply felt contempt for his weakness. "If its about that it is my fault more than anything."

"But-"

"You said so yourself 'the weak get devoured' right?" Yatsuho felt rage build up in his throat, the blame he put on himself to feel better was being taken by someone else, perhaps he had used the blame as a way to cope with himself and when Enketsu took his only support, Yatsuho lashed out.

"You think you are so great? You think that I am useless without you? that I'm so weak that I need to be protected, remember it is not you who has the blood on your hands it is me, ME. IT IS I WHO BLED, IT IS I WHO FOUGHT."

"Watch…your…tone" Enketsu's voice a low growled "You would die ten times over if it were not for me."

As Enketsu turned to face Yatsuho, its jaw was met with his fist. Shook to its core Enketsu lunged onto Yatsuho biting his fore arm and in retaliation Yatsuho kneed Enketsu in its stomach. Not missing a beat Yatsuho kicked Enketsu and sent it flying. Now, Enketsu was no longer small, he became his original size and he appeared to be rabid. Seeing them it seemed to be a duel of the gods, a mighty flaming wolf against the four armed Asura.

At this size Enketsu was easily able to completely envelope its jaws around Yatsuho, yet Yatsuho's strength was enough to hold its jaw from closing for sometime, but as the struggle continued Enketsu's teeth dig into Yatsuho's four palms the heat from the teeth, charred even Yatsuho's bones.

Seeing how Yatsuho was at an disadvantage he left Enketsu's jaws to close in on itself, the deafening snap made it seem like a flintlock musket had been fired. Shook by the impact Enketsu was left open for a moment but that was enough for Yatsuho to stab Enketsu in the eye and blind it. But it was all for nought, being made of fire Enketsu was easily able to shake any injuries it sustained, but Yatsuho had noticed that it was clearly growing sluggish seeing that he was prepared for a battle of iteration.

The fight grew in intensity, but they did not hate each other for it, they had lost so they wanted to shoulder the blame on themselves. In this fight the one who lost was the one who would be free. They both understood each other and wanted to protect the other so they had to prove—prove who was stronger, as the one who was stronger would bear the weight of their actions, the one who was stronger was to be—blamed.

Every hit burnt Yatsuho and flames fell in intensity so did Enketsu's size, which now stood at the same size as Yatsuho. At some point both of them stopped caring about defense, focusing sorely on offense Yatsuho punched with his battered arms but Enketsu caught it with its jaws and spun him around like a rag doll causing Yatsuho's arm to be ripped off, no blood flowed as it had already been cauterized.

Yatsuho's scream of agony did not stop Enketsu's onslaught grabbing Yatsuho by his waist and did a 'death shake', but before the teeth could pierce completely Yatsuho was able to escape by breaking off multiple of Enketsu's teeth.

"This is enough I have already won" Enketsu howled "You are wounded and you have lost an arm, there is no point to this fight anymore."

"It is not only me who is wounded," Yatsuho cried as he was left gasping for air. "Your teeth aren't growing back fast enough."

Yatsuho's tongue had a crazed tinge, as if he was high. "We cannot give up now. The end is death." he laughed as he swung his arms around. Both of them were running on gas and could sense the end was near.

Yatsuho continued to fight like a madman loosing his limbs in the process but those limbs were not taken without a cost either, now it was no longer able to heal, its body battered. Yet, both of them refused to give up each stubborn in their own right and before Yatsuho could move forward Enketsu collapsed and laid there motionless. Yatsuho crept closer to check on it.

"So you agree this is your loss?" Yatsuho was tired but much more calm.

"Yes, it is my loss." Enketsu tried to sound defiant but it was undoubtedly sad.

Hearing this Yatsuho collapsed as well near Enketsu, the adrenaline had stopped and fatigue had taken over but he felt relived to feel the weight of the past on his back again.

"You'll die alone like this." Enketsu said facing Yatsuho "We are one let me shoulder the past with you."

Yatsuho turned to face Enketsu unable to say anything and kept on staring deep into its golden eyes. Not hearing a reply Enketsu continued.

"Remember I am you and you are me, so please let me-" Enketsu was cut short by Yatsuho's laugh,

"I know, but let me carry this past alone until I give up." Yatsuho had said so but it was only done to not for his satisfaction, it was to let the blame fall on himself.

"I will let you carry it for now, but when the time comes trust me I will know."