CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE: SHADOWS OF RESOLVE PT1

The morning air was crisp, the sky a muted gray as I made my way to the open field. This place had always been mine—my quiet retreat from everything. After everything that had happened, I needed space to breathe, to think.

But as I approached the lone tree, I saw him.

Ken.

He sat at the base of the tree, his golden gun resting on his knee, fingers drumming against the handle in slow, measured taps. His usual confident air was gone, replaced by something… heavier.

I hesitated.

He still hadn't said anything about the tournament. And more importantly, he still hadn't talked about what I said to Nicole.

Was he still pissed at me for being an asshole?

I almost turned around. But I wasn't one to back away from things just because they were uncomfortable. So, instead, I walked up and leaned against the tree, arms crossed.

"You plan on brooding all day, or is this a new personality shift?"

Ken didn't even look at me. Just let out a slow breath and kept his eyes on his gun.

"Not in the mood, Liam."

I scoffed. "You never are."

Silence stretched between us. For once, I didn't feel like filling it. The tournament played over in my mind again—the fights, the failures, Nicole's disappointment, Ken's anger.

Ken finally spoke, his voice low. "You should apologize to her."

I blinked. "To who?"

He shot me a sharp look. "Don't act dumb."

A smirk tugged at my lips, more out of instinct than anything else. "Why do you care?"

Ken's fingers tightened around his gun, and for a second, I thought he was going to snap at me. But instead, he just shook his head, exhaling through his nose.

I let out a sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "For your information, I did apologize to her."

Ken's tapping stopped. He finally looked at me, eyes narrowing slightly.

I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling like I'd said too much.

Ken tilted his head. "When?"

I crossed my arms. "That doesn't matter."

Ken raised a brow, studying me like he was piecing something together. Then, to my absolute irritation, the corner of his mouth twitched.

I frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," he muttered, but I didn't miss the hint of amusement in his voice.

I scoffed, looking away. "You're annoying."

Ken just hummed, returning his gaze to his gun. The tension between us eased, just a little.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with Ken. "Hey, I noticed your powers weren't working in the last round," I said, trying to keep my tone casual.

Ken didn't respond, his eyes focused intently on his gun, as if it held the answers to all his problems.

I shifted my weight, the urge to pry getting the better of me. Without really thinking about it, I sat down next to him, the grass crunching beneath me.

"Why are you being nice?" Ken finally asked, his voice flat and suspicious.

I shrugged, leaning back against the tree. "I'm not being nice."

"Sure feels like it."

I rolled my eyes. "I just wanted to sit here. You make it sound like I'm doing you a favor or something."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I felt like it, alright? Don't read too much into it."

He shot me a glance, but I could tell I hadn't convinced him. The silence between us thickened again, and I could feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air.

I clenched my jaw, my patience wearing thin. "I asked you a damn question, Ken."

Ken finally turned to me, unimpressed. "And?"

My hands curled into fists. "And I expect an answer."

Ken let out a slow, mocking chuckle, shaking his head. "What's with the sudden concern, Liam? Didn't think you cared."

I exhaled sharply, my temper flaring. "I don't. But if we're gonna be on the same side, I need to know if I'm gonna be carrying dead weight."

Ken's smirk faded. "Dead weight?" He scoffed, standing up and dusting himself off. "You really don't know when to shut up."

I pushed myself off the ground, stepping closer. "Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"

Ken squared his shoulders, his expression darkening. "Maybe I should show you."

We were inches away from each other now, the tension thick enough to cut. I wasn't backing down, and neither was he. My fingers twitched, ready for a fight—

"Am I interrupting something?"

Both our heads snapped toward the voice.

Nicole.

She stood a few feet away, arms crossed, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

Ken was the first to recover, his entire demeanor shifting in an instant. "Nah, just a friendly conversation."

I scoffed but kept my mouth shut.

Nicole's eyes flickered between us, clearly unconvinced. "Uh-huh. Sure."

I suddenly felt... weird. My usual confidence wavered as I caught sight of her expression. I looked away, shoving my hands into my pockets, suddenly very interested in the grass beneath my feet.

Ken, the bastard, noticed.

"Oh, Liam was just telling me how much he loves apologizing," Ken said smoothly, and I shot him a glare.

Nicole's gaze settled on me. "Really?"

I cleared my throat, still avoiding eye contact. "I wouldn't say love..."

Ken stifled a laugh.

Nicole tilted her head, clearly amused but not pressing further. "Well... whatever. I was just looking for you two."

I dared a quick glance at her, then immediately looked away again. Why did I feel so awkward all of a sudden?

Ken smirked knowingly, and I was two seconds away from punching him.

Ken looked at Nicole, then back at me, before bursting into laughter. A deep, hearty laugh that echoed through the open field. "No way—what the fuck is this?" He clutched his stomach, grinning wildly. "Why the hell did your whole demeanor just change, man?"

I ignored him, my jaw tightening as I kept my gaze fixed somewhere—anywhere—but on Nicole.

Nicole, on the other hand, turned a deep shade of red, clearly remembering last night. Her fingers twitched at her sides as she glanced at me, then quickly looked away.

Ken's eyes flickered between us, sharp as ever, and his grin widened. "Wait, wait, hold on—" His laughter slowed as realization dawned. "Did you two—" He gasped mockingly. "Don't tell me you guys made love or something."

Nicole practically choked, her face going even redder. "W-What?!" she stammered. "N-No! That's—That's not—"

"Ew, that's disgu—" I started, wrinkling my nose, but I stopped myself as my eyes accidentally met Nicole's.

She looked genuinely flustered, and for some reason, that made me hesitate.

I clenched my fists, forcing my expression into something colder, something unreadable. "Stop spouting nonsense, Ken," I said, my voice sharp, cutting through the air like ice.

Ken raised an eyebrow at my sudden shift in tone but smirked knowingly. "Oh? Struck a nerve, did I?"

I shot him a glare. "Drop it."

Nicole shifted awkwardly beside me, still visibly embarrassed. Ken, of course, was eating this up, but for once, he didn't push further. He just shook his head, chuckling under his breath.

"Whatever you say, lover boy."

I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes at Ken. "Enough bullshit. What happened in the last round?"

Ken's smirk faded slightly, but he didn't answer.

Nicole, still recovering from her earlier embarrassment, looked at him curiously. "I noticed too," she said. "You weren't using your lightning-infused bullets. You only used normal rounds."

Ken remained silent, staring at the ground.

I studied him, irritation bubbling up. "Ken."

He exhaled sharply, his fingers tightening around his golden gun. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than usual. "I don't know," he admitted. "Ever since Selena saved me… something changed."

Nicole and I exchanged glances.

I frowned. "What do you mean 'changed'?"

Ken didn't answer right away. He just stared at his gun like it was something foreign to him, something that no longer felt like his own.

Ken let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. "I can't use my powers."

Nicole's eyes widened. "What?"

"I've tried," Ken continued, his fingers gripping the golden gun like he was trying to draw something out of it. "Nothing happens. It's like… it's gone."

Nicole looked at me, expecting some kind of reaction, but I stayed quiet. Unlike her, I wasn't surprised.

Ken scoffed. "Figures. You don't even look shocked." He glanced up at me, his eyes sharp. "You already know why, don't you?"

I met his gaze, my expression unreadable. Then, I looked down at his gun, at the way he held it like it was something foreign. "It's because your current self is in chaos," I said simply. "You don't know what you are anymore—a Tenebri or a hitman."

Ken tensed, his jaw clenching.

Nicole looked between us, still processing everything. "What does that mean?" she asked hesitantly.

I shrugged. "It means his power isn't gone. It's lost. And until he figures out who he really is, it's not coming back."

Ken's brows furrowed as he stared at me, clearly thrown off by my words. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. "You haven't actually made Selena's shadow your own," I said flatly. "Right now, it's just… there, inside you, but not a part of you."

Ken blinked, processing that. "That makes no sense."

"It does," I countered. "Your consciousness is stuck. You don't know which path to take—are you a Tenebri or a hitman? But the thing is, you don't have to choose one."

Ken stared at me, his confusion deepening. His grip tightened around his golden gun. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do?"

I met his gaze, my expression unreadable. Then, instead of answering, I just stared at him.

Ken's patience snapped as he stepped closer, his voice edged with frustration. "Liam, stop with the damn silence and just tell me what's going on!" His golden eyes burned with intensity, his fingers twitching at his sides.

Nicole glanced between us, concern written all over her face. "Liam, just explain it to him," she said gently. "There has to be a way to fix this."

But I didn't say a word. I just stood there, arms crossed, my expression unreadable. The tension in the air thickened with every passing second, Ken's anger rising with it.

His fists clenched, his body rigid with frustration. "Enough of this bullshit!" he snapped. "Say something, damn it!"

Only then did I speak, my voice calm but firm. "An outsider isn't supposed to be able to control Shadows or have access to the Shadow Realm." I let the words settle between us before adding, "Selena shouldn't have done what she did."

Ken's eyes widened slightly, confusion flickering across his face before it was replaced by something darker—anger.

Ken's body tensed, and in the next instant, his hand shot out, grabbing me by the collar. He yanked me forward, his face inches from mine, golden eyes burning with barely contained rage.

"Take that back," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "Selena saved my life."

Nicole stiffened beside us, her hands clenching into fists. In a barely audible whisper, she muttered, "Don't say that, Liam."

But I didn't waver. I met Ken's glare head-on, my own eyes sharp and unwavering. "I'm not taking it back but since she has made that mistake, there's no going back," I said, my voice steady, each word deliberate. "So listen carefully, because I won't repeat myself."

Ken's grip on my collar tightened, his knuckles turning white. His breathing was heavy, uneven, but I didn't flinch. I let my words sink in before I spoke again, my tone calm yet firm.

"I will put you in a state of near death," I said, watching his expression shift from anger to shock. "Only then will you be able to confront your true self."

Nicole gasped softly beside us, but I didn't turn to her. My focus stayed on Ken, whose grip loosened slightly.

"If you succeed," I continued, my voice lowering, "you might get your ability back… and maybe even something greater—the ability to infuse your stupid bullets with shadow."

Silence hung between us, thick and suffocating. Ken's eyes searched mine, looking for any sign that I was messing with him. But I wasn't. I meant every word.

Ken's breath was ragged as he held my gaze, his grip on my collar tightening again. His eyes burned with frustration, confusion, and something else—something deeper.

"You're joking," he muttered, his voice low, almost disbelieving. "You expect me to just—let you nearly kill me and hope for the best?"

I arched a brow. "I don't expect you to do anything. I'm just telling you the only way forward."

Nicole stepped closer, her voice soft but urgent. "Liam, there has to be another way—something less... extreme."

I scoffed, my patience thinning. "Do you think I'd suggest this if there was? Ken's body is rejecting Selena's shadow because he hasn't fully accepted it. He's stuck between two paths, and that's why he can't use his powers. The only way to fix that is to force his consciousness to face the truth."

Ken let go of my collar with a rough shove, stepping back. He ran a hand through his hair, looking down at his golden gun. His jaw clenched, his body tense with turmoil.

"You're saying... I have to choose," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "No. I'm saying you don't have to."

Ken snapped his gaze back up to me, confusion flashing in his eyes.

"You've always been a hitman, and now Selena's Shadow is messing with the image your consciousness has always known. Are you a hitman or a Tenebri? The thing is, you don't have to choose. You're a hitman, and now you have the ability to control Shadows. That makes you a pseudo-Tenebri. You are both, not just one or the other. Drill that into your thick skull, and you'll get your stupid power back. Do you understand me now?" I explained, my patience wearing thin.

Ken let out a dry chuckle. "So the only way to confront myself is to be comatose?"

"Yes. Are you scared?" I stared at him.

Nicole, standing beside us, crossed her arms, her gaze shifting between us with clear unease. "Shouldn't we involve the headmistress before we do anything?" she asked, her concern evident.

Ken scoffed, looking away. "Yeah, because I'm sure she'd be thrilled to hear the plan is to nearly kill me."

Nicole frowned. "Ken, this is serious. What if something goes wrong?"

"Everything has already gone wrong, Nicole." I sighed. "He's dead weight at this point, and this isn't a group decision. He either does it, or he doesn't. No one else needs to be involved."

"You really should learn some restraint, Liam," she said, unimpressed.

I flinched at her tone before muttering, "I'm just being realistic."

She shook her head, her eyes locking onto mine, frustration simmering beneath them. "You're really willing to take that risk?"

I met her gaze, unwavering. "Honestly? I don't care."

Ken let out a slow exhale, clearly tired of our back-and-forth. He turned to me, his expression resigned. "Fine. Just get on with it."

Ken lay on the bare grass, his gaze fixed on the sky as I placed a hand over his chest. My expression was unreadable, my voice steady and cold.

"If, in the future, you ever threaten to harm the Shadow Realm… I will kill you myself."

Ken let out a low chuckle, tilting his head slightly to look at me. "I thought you didn't care about the place."

I said nothing. Just stared at him, my silence carrying more weight than any words ever could.

Ken let out a tired sigh, his gaze shifting back to the sky. "Why the hell would I harm the Shadow Realm?" he muttered. "I'm in love with Selena. The last thing I want is for her to hate me."

I didn't react, but his words lingered in the air between us. Ken wasn't the type to admit things so openly, especially not something like that. It was almost funny. Almost.

I studied him for a moment, my hand still hovering over his chest. "Then don't screw this up," I said flatly. "If you fail, you'll just be another liability."

Ken let out a dry chuckle. "You really know how to motivate a guy, huh?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I pressed my palm against him, letting my shadow pulse to life. Dark tendrils curled around his body, sinking into his skin. Ken stiffened, his muscles tensing in instinctive resistance.

Nicole shifted beside me, clearly uneasy. "Are you sure this is safe?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

I didn't look at her. "No."

Ken huffed. "Comforting."

Then, before either of them could say anything else, I pushed. The shadows surged, swallowing Ken whole. His body jerked violently, eyes rolling back as his breathing hitched. Nicole gasped, but I didn't waver.

He needed to face himself. Whether he came back stronger or not at all—that was up to him.

The silence between us stretched, the only sound the faint rustling of grass in the wind. Nicole stood a few feet away, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her fingers fidgeting at her sides. I noticed the way she hesitated, like she wanted to say something but wasn't sure how.

I sighed internally. The awkwardness was growing by the second.

Then, finally, she spoke. "Um… thank you. For last night."

I glanced at her briefly before looking away, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "Yeah," I muttered.

She smiled softly. "I mean it. It really helped."

I nodded again, still not meeting her eyes. The air between us felt too heavy, too expectant, and I didn't like it.

Nicole took a small step closer. "Liam… if you ever need to talk. About your mom or… anything, I'm here."

At that, my body tensed. I could feel her sincerity, and for a brief moment, something in my chest tightened—but I pushed it down. Hard.

My voice came out cold, sharp. "Whatever happened last night was a lapse. It won't happen again, so don't expect it to."

Nicole didn't flinch. She didn't even look hurt. Instead, she just smiled—a genuine, understanding smile that somehow irritated me more than anything else.

"Okay," she said simply.

And that was it. No argument. No protest. Just acceptance.

I hated it.

Nicole smiled at my cold dismissal, unfazed by my words. She didn't push further, and for that, I was silently grateful. Instead, she turned her attention back to Ken, who remained unconscious on the grass, his breathing steady but deep.

We sat in silence, the weight of the moment settling over us as we waited. The field around us was still, the wind barely stirring the grass. I exhaled quietly, stealing a glance at Nicole, who was now absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of her sleeve. The awkwardness between us hadn't faded, but at least she wasn't pressing me for another conversation I wasn't ready to have.

As we waited, the world moved on elsewhere.

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