life and death (I)

In cold December, concubine Cui finds herself pregnant. This is her third time getting pregnant. The first was a still born that makes her depress for a while. After two years later, she give birth to her second child, Li Mei. This is a daughter that she hope for. A daughter that is sweet to her and stay with her. At the age of thirty three, she already have given up hope to get pregnant. It is consider a late age to give birth. Thus the entire mansion have to be cautious of the superstatious restriction for pregnancy. No hammering, no digging, no slaughtering, no unsightly items or paintings to be around and no sewing to be done on the room. Her daughter is taking good care of Lady Cui. While Li Jun have send news to the Cui clan of the good news. Two days later, servants come by with medicine for Lady Cui to ensure that she will have a safe delivery. Her own nanny too come along. It is a tearful sight to see two woman who haven't seen each other after Lady Cui moved in with Li Jun. Even when Lady Cui is not an official concubine of Li Jun but she is respected in the capital as a refine Lady of culture. She never asked Li Jun for an official title nor asked for anything. Thus Li Jun treat her with respect and called her his wife. She is one of the oldest lady who wiling to follow him without conditions. Even thou her own father had tried to stop her from following a man who cannot give her a title, she still believe in her choice she made. Till today, she never regret nor wants to leave. She continue to serve the man she falls in love with. She is determined to give birth a son for him. 

The third month of pregnancy, even though her tummy is not that big but her breast is so swollen that she cry. Her daughter at a loss run to Banou and ask her for help. Banou and Aylin along with LI Mei walk into the room to see Lady Cui crying in pain of her breast. Lady Cui look up to see three girls looking at her. She wipe her tears. "I have never been in pain when i have Li Mei. Now this child... my breast is so heavy and there is milk produced. What should i do?"

Banou walk to her and sit beside her. 

"Lady Cui, please don't mind what i am going to say. I was like this too. At that time i did something to ease the pain. It lasted a few hours then it came back and i redo the same again."

"What is it Lady Ban Nu?"

Banou look at the door. She asked Aylin to close the door. After that, she swallow her saliva and breath in. "Lady Cui, please dont mind me saying this. What i did was i squeeze the milk out of my breast. It is the milk that is causing the pain in the breast. After it's out, you will feel relief." 

Lady Cui open her eyes wide and Li Mei's face is flush red. 

"How ... how ..how do i squeeze it out?" 

Banou quietly show by pressing her own breast. Lady Cui's face is flush red. While LI Mei is red like a tomato. 

"Can.. ca... can ... you do it for me? I never breast feed my daughter before. I have wet nannies to do it for me."

"Lady Cui, how did you get rid of the milk after you give birth to Li Mei?"

"I .. i dont have milk at that time. So i never breast feed." 

"It's ok. I show you how to do it. Aylin go fetch a bucket. Make sure it doesn't leak."

Aylin go running off. While Banou show her again how to massage her breast and slowly press the areola. When Aylin comes back with the bucket, Banou ask Aylin to stand guard at the door. Li Mei volunteer to follow Aylin to stand outside. While Lady Cui and Banou in the room, Banou place the bucket on Lady Cui's lap. Lady Cui is in a confused and in pain. So she doesn't understand what is going on. Banou help her to remove her top. However Banou doesn't touch her and tell her to massage and press her areola when she feels there is something leaking out. Lady Cui cup and hold her own breast still in confused and in pain. So Banou take her hand and show her how she should massage starting with the left breast. Slowly she help Lady Cui to massage. 

"Do you feel something is coming to your..." Banou point to Lady Cui's areola. 

"I think so." Banou again ask her to press and see if anything milk comes out. Nothing is leaking out yet. So Banou encourage her to continue to massage all around her left breast. 

"Lady Ban Nu. Can you please help me to do it? I can watch and learn. After i massage, i feel that it have moved around but nothing is coming out as you said. Can you show me?"

"Are you permitting me to do so?"

"Yes. Please."

"Then i will help you. Please excuse me. I will sit beside you and massage your left breast and will press your ... please forgive me if you will feel offended." Lady Cui nod her head as she wants to pain to go off fast. 

"Please watch and note how you feel. After that you can do on the other side. So i am going to do it now." 

Banou reach out and start to massage the breast from top to bottom to left and to right. The left breast starts to becomes warm and soft. Not that hard anymore. Her areola shows signs of milk leaking out. Banou shit the bucket nearer with Lady Cui's breast laying on the brim of the bucket. She request Lady Cui to tilt the bucket and she pinch her areola. The milk squirt out naturally into the bucket with Banou keep massaging, pinching and releasing it. Lady Cui's face is in ecstasy. Banou try to concentrate on helping Lady Cui however the soft moaning is making her feel uncomfortable.