the past doesn't let go

Banou walks in the garden lost in her thoughts. She is holding the book of poems that Li Jun had given to her when they were travelling back to Great Tang. It remain her favourite book. Some of the words written in it brings deep meaning to her. It makes her remember her past but not forgetting the present. She remember whenever she did well in class, she will receive a book or a plate of pastries as a reward from her father, the Sultan. Her siblings too will receive it when they do well. They are all equal however whenever she gets her reward, she will find missing pages in the book or pastries are half eaten on the plate in her bedroom. This doesn't make her angry nor upset. She is used to it. Banou doesn't make a fuss out of it. She continue her life as it is. Whatever food that is given to her, she will finish it. For the missing pages, she will go to the library and find if there is similar book and copy the missing pages. She spend her days in the library reading the books. When other Sultans ban woman from reading books, Banou's father bend this rule and allow all his children to read and write. No one is to be illiterate. Thus because of this bended rule, Banou is able to read and write to please herself and the Sultan. Also because of this bended rule. she enrage her sisters and irritated her brothers. Some day, she will teach Li Xing to read and write the basic Arabic wordings but for now Li Xing learning a thousand Chinese characters is keeping him busy. 

Li Jun comes back home for dinner looking upset. Banou roughly guess what is the issue. However she is keeping quiet about. She is sure that Li Jun will privately tells her what is bothering him. True enough at night, in bed. He complain to her that he spend the whole afternoon arguing with the officers working in the law bureau. They are not complying with him on his request to add Banou as a citizen as well as into the family tree. They request for her full documents even though it well be written in Arabic. Thus he suggest that they make a new identity for her. The officers promise to reconsider this issue and suggest that he goes home and wait for their reply. 

"Once i have your documents. Its easy to add you and Li Xing as well." 

"Li Xing is born in Great Tang, can't he ..."

"He needs to be adopted as consort Wu's son. That will make him listed under the family tree. "

"I have to give him up?"

"Unfortunately yes. On paper only. While physically you are always his mother. Just like the rest of the children i have. The younger children before their Ji Li and Guan Li, i will ask the concubines if they are wiling to give up their children to be adopt by Consort Wu. Unfortunately in our law there is no way around it." 

That night Banou lay in bed not able to sleep. Li Jun Is holding her waist so she can't move much. She remember the rest of the concubines giving up their sons and daughter to be adopted under Consort Wu. They cry but they said it is a price to pay for their future. Soon, Banou also have to do that. She wants Li Xing to able to do things that he like. Not restricted as a slave. The other day she saw a small boy helping his mother who is a slave to move the vegetables into their storage. She was slow and get scolding and beating. The little boy who wanted to help his mother was pushed to the ground. The mother begged for mercy not to hurt her son. Banou wonder why a person wants to enslave another to work for them. Why can't a fair trade is done. 

Three days later in the evening, Banou and Aylin join the children to go to the busy street. They buy candies and food along the busy street. Just as they are enjoying themselves, Banou see a carriage with the Persian flag ride past them.

"Princess Banou!" A male voice yell in Arabic. Banou panic and walk fast. Li Xing yell for her but she is in a hurry to get away as fast as she can. That night back in the mansion, she can't sleep again. She got up and walk to the small courtyard. She sit on the bench and look at the waning moon. The wind blows and her long hair begins to dance with it. Her white robe is moving along to the rhythm of the wind. Li Jun wakes up and see her siting alone. She looks like a painting, a lone woman in her garden lost in her own thoughts. He slowly walk out of the room and bring a coat with him. Banou watch him walking to her. He drape the coat on her shoulder. "You are just wearing this thin garment. Is not enough to cover your body. What if a male servant walk past? He might not able to withstand the beautiful sight." 

"No one will walk in here. Unless it's you." 

"That is true. Then let me see your naked body under the moon light. I think the fairies will be shy and hid away." 

Banou refused to do what he say so he undo the tie at her waist and push the garment slightly off so that her chest is exposed for him to see. Banou could do nothing. She just sit there like a statue and allow his hands to ram around her chest area. Li Jun grope her breast and he move down to suck the breast. Even though he is sucking and licking her, he keep his eyes looking at her. His hands wonder to her private parts and find that she is wet. He got excited and he push her garments and spread her legs. In a hurry he push his pants down as he stare at the beautiful woman before him. He penetrate her in a hurry and the little courtyard is fill with skin slapping in the air. Banou place her finger over her lips and chew on it. She cannot make too much noise as Li Xing's room is not too far from where the courtyard is. Li Jun keep thrusting and enjoy seeing her body reacting by squirting. She squirt a few times and his pants are wet because of it but it doesn't stop him from wanting to stay this way with her. After along time, the wind die down and they are fill with sweat beads. Finally he come inside her and the wind starts again. They both breath deeply and look at each other. 

"Father?" LI Jun look up sharply to find LI Xing awake and rubbing his eyes. He is walking towards where they are. Banou panic when she hear her son awake. She try to pull up the garment and the coat to cover herself. While Li Jun pull up his pants in a hurry. "Stop Li Xing!" His son obey and stands there rubbing his eyes. Li Jun hurry up and walk to his son. He lead Li Xing back to his room. While Banou who is laying down on the bench, get up and rush back to her room while trying to pull up the garment and the coat. She nearly trip but managed to get up and get into her room. She close the door and lean on it. She hope that Li Xing haven't see anything. It's an embarrassing sight as a mother.