Going home

That night Banou stay up and look at the night sky. The stars are so brilliant. Growing up, her nanny told her that her mother have become a star and so she believe. Thus everyday she says good night to the stars in the sky. Sometimes she see a star blinking at her, She knows she will sleep very peacefully. 

Li Jun see Banou siting alone watching the sky. He walk up and join her to sit and watch the beautiful night. They sit in silence for awhile. Smile occasionally. Li Xing who see his parents are together smile. It brings warm in his heart. While LI Nan who is loyal to his father, dislike what he is looking at. He rush to where Banou is siting and squeeze in just to sit in the middle of them. Banou hold her youngest son till he falls asleep. Li Xing in the end have to drag his little brother back into the room. Leaving his parents alone again. 

"Ban Nu, I hate to think that tomorrow we are starting our journey home."

"Don't you want to go home and see the family that you leave behind?"

"I mIss them but i will miss you more."

Banou keep silence. Li Jun reach out and hold her hands. 

"These past two years, is the only time i have spend my time with you. Besides your sons, i am the one who sees what kind of environment you have grow up in. Is that why you fear to go home?"

"I don't fear my family."

"i can see the dynamic of your family. You don't fear your father but fear your sisters. Am i correct?"

"Yes, they bring the fear into my life. I was so small when i don't understand why are they act like that. Why would they want to rip up anything that is new in my life. Why so many why. Then after that day, i realised that. The eldest was taught and learn from her mother. I pity her. While the rest learn from the eldest. They poison each other with negative thoughts. I am glad that i stay away and pick up books instead. People always envy those who are born and live in a palace but i don't. I don't get to see my father. I lost my mother at the age of three. I stay away from my brothers and sisters. My nanny passed away when i was nine. My personal maid betray me for things that my sisters provide her with. So being a princess is nothing good."

"So bring you to Tang, is the best thing that i have done for you?"

"Yes. I did not know life outside as a Persian. I did not know how wide and how far the sand stretch. Then there are lands fill with green grass. Giant lakes of water that frozen when the weather change to winter. So many things that i have open my eyes to see."

"So you are grateful to me."

"Yes i am."

"Then why didn't you fight for the rights to marry me? My heart was broken because of that."

"My master... you are always my master. Also Consort Wu can never leave you. She married you from a young age till now. She did nothing that you can divorce her. If you divorce her just because of me. I will feel guilty forever. The Wu clan will not spare her. Master, there is a lot to consider. It is not just you and me. It's many people involved."

Li Jun understands but he knows that besides that she truly like his brother more than him. However today he wants to talk it out and let her know that he likes her all the years together. Banou knows and understand. She appreciate that this man never force her to do something she doesn't want to do. He doesn't make her feel useless. He taught her things that she never think that she will do. He make her life fill with things to learn. He never stop saying that he wants her but she have chosen to marry his brother and push her way through. She only can be sorry for hurting his feelings. For now, she will be extra nice to him. 

The next day bright and early, everyone who is leaving for Tang sits in the caravan. Ayaz who is now returning to Tang have to pacify his parents especially his mother. Her eyeliner is ruing from crying excessively. He promised to return home within five years. While Banou goes into the palace with her Chinese garments, she greet her father before his morning court sessions and visit the crown prince for a final time. The crown prince and the Sultan who have grow custom to her is unhappy to see her go. Yet they know she have to continue her life in Tang. As the Sultan walk with her out of the palace, he say quietly

"You do know that you have to prepare mentally back to Ottoman..."

"Father, i hope that day doesn't come fast because it means one thing to me. The crown prince is no longer around..."

"Or i won't be living at that point. Banou as a co-regent. If a heir is not appointed, you will be delegate to find a suitable one. While i try to find one in many grandchildren i had... it doesn't look promising now. They lack of everything. I am trying to fill up the holes that they are missing. It is not easy but i will try to find a suitable one. Your brothers had made a promise to me to support you fully when you are the co-regent. Thus, Banou you are my hope for the future and of course i hope that the crown prince will live on after i am gone. "

They walk to the palace gate. She see Halil and her two younger sisters standing in a distance she bow to them and they return the bow. She kiss the hand of her father. They look at each other.

"Banou did i tell you. You have your mother's eyes and her kind nature. Thank you for being alive. Praise god for your existence."

"May god watch over you and the empire."

"Go now, They are waiting for you."

Outside the palace gates, Banou finds most of her brothers are standing there waiting for her. They greeted her and bless each other. She see some of her sisters are standing in a distance. Whether they are sincere to send her off or not, Banou still bow to them. She then hop on the caravan with the Chinese word Tang hanging on the top. Slowly it start to move. In a distance she see that her sons are on their horses. Their horses are moving with the speed of the caravan. She lift up the blinds to look at her father for the last time. All she see is a tired man who wants to take a rest but none of the children are able to allow him to rest. It's now up to the grandchildren. Hopefully, there is someone worthy of the throne.