Self-Realization

The voice that came this time from within his mind was far different from the usual mechanical voice of the System. It seemed as if a whole other being was speaking this time.

[YOU, A MERE MORTAL DARES TO SPEAK BAD OF THE GREAT DEITY. DO YOU WISH FOR THE MOST PAINFUL AND ETERNAL DEATH? IF I WAS NOT RESTRICTED BY THE COMMAND OF THE GREAT DEITY, YOU COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU FOR SPEAKING SUCH ATROCITIES WITH THAT FOUL MOUTH OF YOURS.]

Ashok couldn't even breathe the entire time the System's words echoed in his head. Each syllable felt like a weight on his chest, suffocating him, and leaving him powerless.

He realized with horrifying clarity that the System was not a mere tool or helper instead it was the puppet master, pulling every string, holding a leash to his very existence, and it could snap that leash at any moment with no more than a thought.

The words continued, dripping with disdain and superiority, as though each sentence was designed to remind him of his inferiority. With each passing word, Ashok felt more and more helpless about not being able to fight back, of not being able to live his life the way he had dreamed, that feeling fueled something far deeper inside him. It wasn't fear.

It was rage, pure and raw, an uncontrollable surge that flooded through his veins with every syllable the System spoke.

'What even am I?'

Does my existence mean nothing?'

What use is all my knowledge, all my achievements that I earned giving my all when I am working as a dog under this System and a deity whom I don't even know of?

Completing Quests, did I transmigrate for that? Didn't I have enough of those while playing the game?

Am I now also a character now being played by God?

Do the quests given by this System means life and death for me now?

Since when did I become this incompetent.'

Unknown to the System, which was currently showing Ashok his place, something very sinister began to stir deep within his mind. As the weight of its control pressed harder against his soul, Ashok's thoughts began to twist in ways the System never anticipated.

The more he questioned his existence, the more the seed of resistance took root. It wasn't just helplessness or anger anymore—it was a hunger for something darker, something far more dangerous than Ashok could fully grasp in his current state.

'HA! I don't care even anymore.

I will live my life like the way I used to live. I will live with freedom, not caring about things like endings.'

The words echoed in his mind like a promise, a pledge to himself. He wouldn't be a mere cog in the machine, wouldn't let his every action be dictated by commands and quests.

'But how do I get this freedom?

Should I just kill myself? NO! That will not be the freedom that I want, but giving up.

I have to somehow get rid of this System, but the question is how? There is no such thing as this System in the game. The game only presented a Status Panel, not some self-conscious God-manipulated System.'

As Ashok became more and more absorbed in his thoughts, formulating his plan for freedom, he didn't notice something crucial unfolding around him.

He didn't notice that the System had already stopped speaking and the heavy pressure that he was under, was completely lifted. Even though he was under no pressure, his body remained frozen in the same position, his hands and knees still pressed against the cold floor, his head bowed low in submission. His eyes were vacant, empty, staring at nothing as if his mind had disconnected from the world around him.

The momentary silence that had settled after the System's previous outburst was finally broken, not by Ashok, but by the System itself.

[Host] called the System

Though the System called him, Ashok was no longer mentally present there.

'What is this System?'

[Host]

'Who created this System? The Great Deity that it keeps mentioning—just what God is it?'

[Host]

'There are many Gods in this world, belonging to different alignments: Heaven, Hell, Fallen, Outer. I have to find out which faction the God belongs to... and then, maybe... just maybe... I can get rid of this System myself.'

[HOST!]

The sharp, forceful shout from the System jolted Ashok from his deep concentration. His mind snapped back to reality. Ashok finally came out of his trance-like concentration. The heavy weight of his body on the cold floor, the numbness in his limbs, all of it rushed back to him in an instant.

Ashok slowly pushed himself up, the aching of his knees a sharp reminder of the position he had been forced into, but it wasn't enough to break his focus. He wiped his hands over each other, brushing off the dirt. As his hands moved, the sharp, deep red of his eyes gleamed brighter. The glow that radiated from them was now more intense than ever before—undeniable, palpable. And though the fire that burned within him was fierce, he concealed it beneath a veneer of calm. It was a fire of defiance, of resentment, a fierce refusal to be controlled.

[I apologize for my previous uncontrolled demeanor. Host.]

For a moment, Ashok stood frozen, his mind racing to comprehend what had just happened. The System, the entity that had dominated his existence, that had constantly spoken to him with an air of superiority and disdain, was apologizing?

The words hung in the air of his thoughts, but Ashok didn't waste time questioning it. He didn't allow the confusion to fester or let himself be caught up in the sudden shift. Instead, he did something he had done before—he went with the flow.

"Yeah, it's fine. It was my fault anyway. No matter what, I should never have cursed the God who granted me a new life."

Ashok's voice was calm, almost regretful, the words flowing out with a level of composure that starkly contrasted the frustrated and rageful tone, he had used moments ago. It was a subtle shift, almost like a mask he had put on.