Josh

Ted woke up at around midday. The night before was such a blur once again. Maybe he has been drinking too much lately. As he goes to reach for his head, a soft small piece of fabric grazes his face. Focusing his eyes, he realizes he's been holding onto a silk tie this whole time! Ted knows only one person who wears a fancy silk tie! Barney had helped him get home! Shit! Damn, the tie smelled so good, a mix of spicy cinnamon and fresh ginger with a hint of smoke. Suddenly Ted felt his pants become uncomfortable. A low groan escapes his lips as he shifts his body off the side of his bed. 

"Fuck… B-Barney, fuck, fuck"

Ted couldn't control his hands. Whipping out his member he began to stroke it while holding the tie close to his nose. Inhaling the scent deeply, it didn't take him but a few minutes before Ted came into his hand. After masturbating, a sharp pain struck his head and he collapsed again onto his bed. This time Ted couldn't be bothered to lie to himself, he had thought of Barney while he… did the deed. He had to do something about this! No, maybe not! Yeah, this is just a crush! A stupid, dumb crush that'll pass after, what? Like a week? A few days at most? Ted didn't even like men, this was just… a passing thing! A phase most likely! And the person of his attraction… well…

'It's Barney! I'll forget about this stupid, whatever this is, and we'll go back to being good friends!'

Thinking this, Ted rolls up Barney's tie and places it inside his bedside table drawer. Taking some tissues and cleaning himself up, Ted heads out of his bedroom and heads to the kitchen for a glass of water. Today was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and Ted checked his phone for any missed calls or texts. Most from Marshall, telling him about what's been happening throughout the day for him and Lily. Lily sent some from her perspective and gave some reminders to speak with…yeah. And Robin sent one about something to do with one of her five dogs. How she was able to keep them in that small apartment was commendable and most likely illegal, Ted thought. Huh, this was strange, Barney didn't send anything… Not since two nights ago asking to go do laser tag. It's probably nothing to worry about. Ted will talk to him when he next sees him and they'll sort this whole thing out. Ted was sure everything was going to be fine. Things will go back to how it was before…just like how he wanted it to be…

…

A week. It's been exactly 7 days since Barney contacted Ted. He would never admit it, but Ted was starting to worry. After not hearing from Barney that Saturday morning, Ted bit the bullet and texted him first. Sitting down on the couch, Ted held his breath. For what reason, he didn't know. He was nervous and drew a blank on what to send. It shouldn't be so nerve-wracking, it's just texting a friend! Totally a normal thing everyone does! Doing a quick internet search, he came up with something perfect, not too formal or worried sounding. Just a casual text, he's got this!

Teddy Westside: Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. You good?

'You good? You Good? God, what the hell was that? Have I ever said that before? Fuck, maybe this was a mistake!'

Just as Ted was regretting everything that led up to this moment, his phone buzzed. A reply!

The Barnacle: Yeah, all good man.

…That's it? After days of radio silence, only 4 words as a reply? Ted was worried! He couldn't concentrate on anything for days and when he tried to reach out, he only got 4 words! Ted stared at his phone's screen for what felt like hours, waiting for more texts to come through. Nothing!... Taking a moment, Ted replied to the other texts of his friends and set his phone down. If Barney didn't show up at the bar tonight, he was going to go to his apartment and give Barney a piece of his mind! Feeling pissed, Ted got up to make himself coffee but stopped halfway. Thinking about Barney, about what would happen should he find himself going to Barney's apartment… the start of a couple of pornos started popping into his head but he replaced the girl with Barney. Feeling his pants become a little too tight, Ted redirected to the bedroom, towards the bedside table drawer. Ted will give back the tie…just…later. Much later.

***

As evening was approaching, Ted started making his way down to the bar. Entering through the doors, Carl gave him a stern look. Ted didn't know what that was about and he didn't ask. He just brushed it off as Carl having a tough night, maybe with a dumb drunkard. Taking his seat across from Lily and Marshall, Ted gave a courteous hello before ordering a drink as Wendy came by. She rolled her eyes at Ted in annoyance and went to fetch him his usual beer. This time she had brought 2 with her and set them both down by Ted before strutting off to her next customer. Ted, thinking that was weird, started drinking his first beer at a rather slow pace. A good sign at least. Lily, seeing this, smiled as she spoke:

"So…How'd it go with Barney? Everything okay now?"

"...umm…"

Ted stopped drinking and slowly set his beer down on the table. He only wanted to speak to Barney when he saw him face to face but not seeing him for days, made Ted not have the talk he promised to have… Actually, Ted wasn't even sure what they would have to talk about. He just said that to make Lily stop talking about how weird he's been being around Barney. Now that he knew why, he didn't want to even think about it anymore. There was nothing to think about! In fact, right now, things are good!... And then Barney had to ruin it…

"Hey guys! Haaave you met Josh? He's my boyfriend."

As Lily and Ted were talking, they didn't see Barney walking in and up to their booth. Marshall, however, did see him and this "Josh" guy and tried to signal for him to leave, to save himself. Barney paid no attention and continued. Behind him stood a tall and muscular guy, the tight gray shirt he wore really showcased his large pecs, and his long black hair was pulled up into a man bun, some loose strands he had missed had perfectly framed his strong jawline. He had a silver studded earring on his right ear and he was holding hands with Barney. Lily and Marshall sat there stunned both their mouths hung open in surprise. Ted was even more speechless, his mind was a blank and time seemed to have stood still for him. Just then, Robin came in, saying a casual "Hey" as she took a seat next to Ted and unknowingly took his second beer. Beer… booze…Ted needed it! Now! At the moment Robin was about to take a sip, Ted yanks it from her and begins to chug it down. 

"What the hell, man? Oh, hey Barney, hey Josh."

"Robin, you know about Josh?"

Lily was caught off guard. Not only was this the first time she's heard about Barney having a boyfriend but apparently her best friend knew about it and didn't say anything? Meanwhile, Barney pulled over two unused seats for themselves and ordered a gin and tonic for himself and a beer for his boyfriend. 

"Oh, yeah. I bumped into them on a date yesterday."

"And you didn't tell us?"

"Marshall, I'm not gonna tattle like that, jeez. And it's not my business to tell."

"Thank you, Robin. Beers on me tonight! Let's celebrate!"

Barney raised his glass as a toast and took a swig, Josh following right after with his beer. Lily and Marshall gave each other a concerned look, but… free beers?...

"Cheers to that! Hey Wendy, another round over here!"

"Make that two!"

Ted yelled right after Lily made her request. Looking over at Barney and Josh so close together, Ted started chugging down his original unfinished drink. This whole night was ruined now. All conversation was centered around Barney's new boyfriend; a Korean/American aspiring musician who plays guitar for some local band, he plays hockey on weekends, he did some volunteer teaching overseas to children in underdeveloped villages, and works as a maintenance man for companies that switched to eco-friendly facilities. The perfect man by any one of the group's standards. After a few more rounds of drinks, Ted being a few rounds ahead, he couldn't take it any longer. The giggling, the touching, the goddamn snuggling up to each other! God, they were worse than Lily and Marshall when they first got together! Ted stood up and rushed out the doors, or at least made an attempt. His effort just made him fall over Robin in the booth and practically passed out as he hit his head on the table when he fell. Seeing this, they all decided to call it a night. Everyone said their goodbyes and Barney and Josh were the first to leave. Lily looked at Ted and sighed, looks like they didn't actually talk things out. 

"Well, looks like someone's gotta help Ted back home again… Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not- damn it! Fine, come on Ted"

Marshall grins as he goes out to hail a cab. Lily stays behind and helps Robin get Ted out of the booth. Robin, in frustration, yanks Ted up and mutters how stupid he's being.

"He better not say something stupid again like last time!"

"What? Ted said something stupid?"

Robin's eyes went wide, she didn't know she had said that out loud. She was pretty buzzed as she had to keep chugging down her beers to prevent Ted from stealing hers. She started to sway as she held Ted up, one of his arms around her shoulder while her hand gripped at his side. Suddenly, she felt like she couldn't control what she wanted to say.

"Ted was so drunk the first time I helped him home, he thought I was Barney and said some…suggestive stuff…I think Ted likes Barney…Pfft hahahaha, can you imagine! Ted and Barney getting together? Hahahah, Like Barney would ever go for Ted when he's got that cute hunk of man meat by his side! Pfft hehehe hic! Oof, I don't feel so good, I'm gonna get him home… Where does he live again?"

Robin was starting to feel dizzy, the alcohol was beginning to hit her all at once now. Lily just looked at her, then at Ted… Things were starting to make more sense now. She took a moment to breathe and as Marshall came back in to fetch his fiance, Robin then collapsed with Ted still leaning on her. As the couple watched them fall, they knew that they would have to be the ones to help both of them home now. Great… just great… maybe next time, they'll all just go to Ted's place to drink instead…