A Talk with a Psychiatrist

Dr. He arranged his office. He is one of the best psychiatrist in the country. He is famous for his observational skill. He sometimes also assist police or detectives to talk to a criminals. And he also one of the high paid psychiatrist. So most of his patients are rich.

The cleaning lady just cleaned and left the room. Yesterday, one of his friend Feng Delun called him and asked him to help his friend De Longjun. Feng Delun is also the private doctor of De Longjun. Feng Delun also have him the basic details of De Longjun, including a non disclosure agreement. I don't disclose details of any of my patients. Well.... I guess rich people are too careful..... Signing the non disclosure agreement, Dr. He pondered. What may be the reason? I should wait for it....

***

In sharp three o'clock, De Longjun knocked Dr. He's room.

"Welcome Mr. De. Please sit down." Dr. He welcomed him.

De Longjun nodded and sat in the sofa.

"We can talk to me safely mr. De. We won't disclose any of our meetings." Dr. He took his notebook and smiled.

"Good."

"Then tell me more about you. Mr. De. Just give me an introduction."

"I am De Longjun. Now twenty five years old. I have a family consisting of my father and mother, two sisters and a brother, along with my grandfather."

Its the basics. "So... Mr. Feng is a friend of mine. He had sent me some details abouts your health. According to him, you are an upright man."

"No." De Longjun shook his head. "Now I am sure I am not one of them."

"Why did you say that mr. De? Did something happen?"

De Longjun paused for sometime. "I have illicit feelings towards a minor." He stated.

What? What did he say? Illicit feelings towards a minor?

"You said you have illicit feelings towards a minor. Right?!"

"Right."

"Could you elaborate it? How would you describe your feelings for that minor?!"

"I can't put her away from my head. I want to kiss her for long and long time and be in her embrace for sometime... She is so fragile.... I want to keep her protected all time...."

"Mm...." Dr. He nodded.

"What is the girl's age?!"

"She is fifteen."

"Fifteen....." He wrote it in his book. "Mr. De. I will give you some pictures. Could you look at it and tell me what you feel?!"

"Yes." De Longjun nodded.

Dr. He stood up and took an album from his book rack and gave it to De Longjun.

De Longjun opened the book. Inside it, there were pictures of many girls of different ages.

"What about this kid?!" Dr. He tapped on a photo of small child.

"Nothing. I don't feel anything."

"Okay. Then imagine a scenario. You badly wanted to have a sexual encounter with a girl. But when you walk to get someone, you saw this girl in a dark ally way with no one around. There is no camera, no one's watching.... How would you feel? What would you do?"

"I would tell my assistant to call police. And about the feeling, I dont feel anything." He answered.

He is telling the truth.

"But who are these girls? How would you get this pictures?!"

"Oh. Its not illegal. Its some cartoon, manga manhwa like that. You know, like how they look in real life. I got permission from the government. And it's not even nude photos. Just faces."

"I understand."

"What about your friends? Are they male or female?"

"All of my friends is male. I don't have any female friends."

"Do you talk with any of the women? Or girls?!"

"I don't speak to them too much. Sometimes my friends bring their girlfriends, but our communication remains minimal."

"Good. So..... Another question. Do you have a girlfriend?!"

"No. I haven't had one yet."

"Oh..... You haven't dated one girl yet....."

"No."

"Why?!"

"I didn't feel attracted to anyone."

"Mm.... Good. Then tell me about the girl more. The fifteen year old one."

Mentioning Zan Guiying, De Longjun went soft. "I first met her when she was two years old.... At a wedding.... She felt so cute and innocent.... Like a cute furry animal..... Spending time with her put my mind at ease..... I was happy with her... I felt happier..... I don't know when my feelings changed to this."

"So you are telling you might have had this feelings before you understood about it."

"Yes.

"What is your relationship with her?! Is she your family?! Like blood related?!"

"No. She is my grandmother's friend's granddaughter."

"Oh. Okay. Then what is the trigger that made you realise that feelings?!"

"Yesterday..... She had an accident. I thought I would lose her.... So I kissed her."

"You kissed her. Without her permission."

"Yes."

"What do you think about the kiss now?!"

"I shouldn't have done it.... It was an impulse.... But whatever I did was not right..... It was wrong..... And now it so hard to face her."

"So you feel guilty."

"Yes. I am."

"If you find her in this type of situations again, what would you do?!"

"I don't know.... I fear I will do this again."

He is telling the truth. Dr. He closed his notebook. "Mr. De. From far I noticed, you are not a pervert or a paedophile. I could say.... Its about knowing more people, especially girls."

"What?!"

"Let me elaborate. Other than girls from your family, or your friends, or work place, that girl is the only one person you are close with. You may have known or friends with so many of opposite gender, but you are so close to her and has a great bonding. She is with you for so many years. So she became a irreplaceable a part of your life. This compassion, closeness and bonding grew in your mind. Because you are spending time with her. You never considered her even as your sister. This unknown relationship with her grew.... because you never felt close with any other girl. You wanted to protect her more than anyone else... you felt afraid when she is in danger... Its not familial love.... The unknown feeling grow.... into something more..." Dr. He paused and looked at him.

"Love.... I am in love with her....." De Longjun himself is quite shocked.

"Yes Mr. De. You are in love with that girl...." Dr. He confirmed the words again... "Congratulations Mr De. You are experiencing love...."