I NEED to go back to therapy again. I've been handling myself all this while, I've been able to control what I can and leave the shit I couldn't, but recently, I've become a whirlpool of useless emotions.
Unpredictable emotions.
One moment I'm smiling at Lucas because we got caught doing the silliest thing behind the paper thingy used for photoshoots, and the next moment I'm annoyed because his attention is fixated on Lynn.
To think I was the one who said this was going to be a no-strings-attached deal. I'm getting jealous at everything like he's my boyfriend, and I desperately want to tell him but, yeah, you know the drill now…I'm scared.
I don't want to date him and I do at the same time. I want to call him mine and yet I don't want him carrying a piece of me wherever he goes. What if he breaks it?
I need therapy. I need fucking therapy.