Driving Everyone Crazy

When he said those words, my mind went blank.

Everything inside me just… stopped.

I couldn't think. I couldn't react. I just stood there, silent. Numb.

It was like those few words had completely wiped my mind clean, washing away every thought I had been holding onto so tightly. Every ounce of anger, every bitter resentment I had been nursing—it all just vanished.

Like his words meant something. Like they held something.

But I couldn't shake the feeling that he was lying. That this was just another one of his tactics—buying time, making excuses, whatever.

I didn't know what to say. And for someone like me, who always had something to say, that was terrifying.

And then, as if sensing my hesitation, he spoke again.

"Look, I'm sorry."

His voice was softer now, not demanding like before. Not pushing, not cornering me.

"I didn't mean any of that. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble or make you uncomfortable. I just…" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just thought you wouldn't agree if I didn't do things my way."

His way.

"And my way… is straight."

There was something in his tone. Frustration? Sadness? Disappointment in himself? I wasn't sure.

"It's just… so straight," he muttered. "And I should have taken it slow. I should have talked about the feelings. I should have just…"

He trailed off, shaking his head, like even he didn't know how to finish that sentence.

For the first time, Daræy sounded… unsure.

And that scared me.

Because Daræy was never unsure. He was always confident, always straightforward. He never hesitated. Never second-guessed himself. He just acted.

And now, here he was, standing in front of me, stumbling over his words, not knowing what to say.

It felt wrong.

Because if he was this shaken up, then what did that mean for me?

And yet… I just couldn't.

I knew he meant it. I knew he was being sincere.

But that didn't change the fact that I still felt humiliated. That this whole thing still felt like a stain I couldn't wash off.

That he felt like a stain I couldn't wash off.

So I took a breath and steadied myself.

"Daræy."

I said his name softly, carefully, because for the first time, I felt like I was the one who had to be careful with him.

"I know this is hard for you."

His head snapped up. His eyes met mine, searching.

"But you've got to give me space."

It wasn't a request. It wasn't a plea. It was a fact.

A truth neither of us could argue against.

And with that, I turned and walked away.

This time, he didn't try to stop me.

He didn't call after me.

He didn't say another word.

He just stood there, watching me leave, letting me go.

And somehow, that hurt more than anything else.

Because that was just his way.

His way was straight.

His way was direct, unwavering. He didn't know how to do things any other way. He didn't know how to bend, how to shift, how to move at someone else's pace.

It was always his way.

And maybe that's why, in the end, we both got what we partially wanted.

Not what we really wanted.

Not what we needed.

But something in between.

Something unfinished.

And that was just it.

It's been more than a week since I last spoke to Tessa.

A whole week.

Not a single word. No texts, no calls, nothing. Just silence.

The last time I saw her friends, I tried to be casual when I asked about her. Like it wasn't eating me up inside. Like I wasn't desperate for an answer.

"She went back to Yentown, Yenagoa, Bayelsa," Ruth had said, almost absentmindedly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

But it wasn't normal.

Tessa leaving, just like that, with no word, no warning? It didn't make sense.

Sure, Yenagoa was still in the same state as us, but it wasn't here. It wasn't where she was supposed to be.

And the worst part?

She left because of me.

She traveled just to avoid me.

That realization hit differently.

I had told myself that maybe, just maybe, if we all met up at Justin's house like we were supposed to, I'd get a second chance. I'd be able to explain, to fix this, to make things right.

But damn… I was so wrong.

She had already made sure that wouldn't happen.

I could feel it in my chest—the sting, the weight of knowing I had messed up so bad that she actually went out of her way to leave.

And I never even meant to hurt her.

That's the part that kills me the most.

I was just… trying.

Trying to do things the only way I knew how.

Tessa isn't the type of person who likes big gestures, who likes being put on the spot. She's shy—quietly shy. The kind of person who doesn't want an audience when she's making a decision.

And I knew that.

I knew that.

And yet, I still went ahead and did what I thought was right.

And now here I am, alone in Justin's house, surrounded by laughter and noise, yet feeling like I'm in the quietest, loneliest place in the world.

Everyone's having fun, but I can't.

I've tried—God knows I've tried—to distract myself, to laugh along with the jokes, to pretend I'm fine.

But no matter how much I force a smile, no matter how loud I make my laughter, it doesn't wash out the fact that Tessa isn't here. That she's mad at me. That I might've lost her completely.

And what makes it worse?

Justin.

Not him specifically, but the way he talks about her. The way he brings her up in every conversation, the way he keeps laughing about something she said or did.

They play so much. They joke so much.

And every time her name slips past his lips, it feels like a punch to the gut. A reminder.

A reminder that she's not here. A reminder that this is my fault.

I can't do this.

I thought I could. Thought I could be strong, that I could handle this. That I could move on from this screw-up like I always have.

But I was wrong.

I was right about one thing, though—I ruined it.

Tried to get closer, and I ruined it. Again.

Why do I keep doing this?

Why do I keep messing things up with people?

First my parents.

Then Anita.

Then Justin, for a while.

And now Tessa.

And out of all those losses, this one stings the most.

Because with her, I didn't think I'd ruin what we had.

I didn't think I could lose her.

And yet… here we are.

What a damn bummer.

I wish I could just hit pause on everything, rewind time, and take back what I said.

Because what did I even really know about her? Did I even try to understand her properly?

No.

I just put two and two together and assumed I had all the answers.

And that was my mistake.

Why am I even this brilliant? Should I have had a career in investigative journalism? Maybe I'd be better off writing detective novels instead of running my mouth.

The thoughts in my head won't shut up. They're screaming at me, taunting me.

And the worst part?

I can't deny them.

I'm lost in my own shadow, and I don't even know how to step out of it.

The weekend passed. Then a few more days.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, I had already convinced myself that I'd gone at least two minutes without thinking about Tessa. Progress.

Then Justin stormed into my house.

Fuming.

Like, full-on ready to break something fuming.

I raised an eyebrow, casually leaning back on the couch.

"Yo, what happened?"

Justin ran a frustrated hand through his hair, pacing back and forth before finally growling out—

"That Tessa of a girl."

I sat up straight.

"Shut up. What happened to her?"

"Nothing happened to her!" he snapped. "But something definitely happened to me!"

I blinked, tilting my head. "Okay… what?"

He exhaled sharply, looking personally offended as he pointed to his cheek.

"She punched me."

I swear, I almost choked.

"Tessa did what?!"

"Yeah, you heard me. She punched me. With her actual fist. On my actual face."

The mental image alone nearly took me out.

"Bro, I was so held back," he continued, frustration laced in his voice. "Because if I had hit her back, people would've lost their damn minds. I'd be the villain, the bad guy, the monster who hit a girl. So I had to just stand there and take it like an idiot."

I shook my head, still trying to wrap my mind around this entire situation.

"Okay, hold up. Back up. Start from the beginning—what the hell is going on?"

Justin groaned, rubbing his temples like just remembering it was giving him a headache.

"Okay, so, I had a thing with one of her friends."

I stared at him.

"Not anyone in the crew," he added quickly. "I mean, yeah, I did have something with Irene, but that ended when she moved out of the house."

"Wait—hold on. Irene moved out of the house? When the hell did this happen?"

Justin rolled his eyes.

"Dude, are you even alive in this city anymore? Seriously, you're always in your own little world, zoning out, never listening to anything we say. You're with us, but not really with us."

I frowned. Okay, fair. But still.

"You know what? Forget it," he sighed. "The point is, I had something going on with this girl named Divine, and… yeah, I ended things. Rashly."

"Rashly," I repeated, unimpressed. "So basically, you messed up."

"I did not mess up—okay, fine, maybe a little," he admitted. "Anyway, Divine was obviously upset. She cried and everything. But instead of her coming at me, you know who did? Tessa."

"Wait—Tessa? Why? It wasn't her relationship."

"EXACTLY! That's what I don't get!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "It's not even her relationship! But what does she do? She stands up in front of everyone and just punches me. Right in the face. No hesitation. Like, who even does that?!"

I paused.

"I mean… yeah. Who does that?"

Wait.

"Hold up. You're telling me Tessa—a whole Tessa—just got up, mid-conversation, and punched you?"

"YES!"

"In public?"

"YES!"

"Bro, what did you do to make her that mad?"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!" Justin groaned, flopping onto my couch. "I don't even know! It's not like Divine herself threw hands! But Tessa? Nah, Tessa said, 'I got this,' and rocked my jaw. Like, what even gives her the right?"

I exhaled dramatically. "Well… actually, Justin, I think she does own the world."

Justin shot me an exasperated look. "Oh, please. Don't start with your philosophical nonsense."

I smirked, shaking my head.

"No, think about it. She's got you mad as hell. She's got me losing sleep. Divine's upset. Everyone around her is upset. And somehow, the entire universe is revolving around this one girl. If that's not power, I don't know what is."

Justin groaned, grabbing a beer from the fridge and taking a long sip. "Man, whatever. Just take your little cold beer and shut up."

I leaned back, my mind spinning.

Instead of everything circling back to me, was I really about to try and bring Justin and Tessa back together?

And if I did… would that mean Tessa would finally talk to me again?

Finally?

Just like that, I was back on my Mission: Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned Against Tessa.

A whole damn week had passed, and I had been losing my mind.

This was my shot.

And I was not letting it slip away.

"Never."

절대 안 돼.

(Jeolda an dwae.)