Chapter 10: Shadows of Doubt

The next few days passed in a blur of routine for Jian. He attended classes, worked on his sketches, and occasionally saw Hana in the art courtyard or on campus. Their conversations were warm but brief, always interrupted by her packed schedule or his reluctance to linger too long.

Yet, despite the quiet moments they shared, a sense of unease began to grow in Jian's heart. Every time he saw Tae-hyun around Hana, laughing with her or casually draping an arm over her shoulder, Jian felt something stir inside him—an unfamiliar bitterness he didn't want to admit was jealousy.

---

One afternoon, Jian sat at his favorite spot in the art courtyard, a half-finished sketch on his lap. He had been working on a series of pieces inspired by the changing seasons, but his thoughts kept wandering back to Hana.

He remembered how she had smiled at him after their creative session in the dance studio, her voice filled with trust and appreciation. Why can't I hold on to that feeling? he thought.

His pencil hovered over the page, but he couldn't bring himself to draw.

"Hey, deep in thought again?"

Jian looked up, startled. It was Hana, standing in front of him with her usual bright smile. She held two cups of coffee, offering one to him.

"Thought you could use a break," she said, sitting down beside him.

"Thanks," Jian muttered, taking the cup. He glanced at her, feeling a mix of happiness and anxiety.

---

They sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping their coffee. Hana leaned over to look at his sketch.

"Wow," she said softly. "It's beautiful. You're really good at capturing... emotions, I think."

Jian's cheeks warmed at the compliment. "It's not finished," he said, downplaying it.

"It doesn't have to be finished to be meaningful," Hana replied. She tilted her head, studying the drawing. "You've got this way of making even simple things feel... alive."

Her words made Jian's heart swell, but he also felt a pang of guilt. She was being so kind, so supportive, and yet he couldn't shake his growing insecurities about Tae-hyun.

"Hana," he started, his voice hesitant.

"Yeah?" she said, turning to him with her full attention.

"Do you—" He stopped himself, unsure how to phrase the question without sounding ridiculous.

Hana frowned slightly. "What is it? You can ask me anything."

Jian hesitated, then shook his head. "It's nothing," he said, forcing a smile. "Just... tired, I guess."

Hana studied him for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, but if something's bothering you, promise you'll tell me?"

"Yeah, I promise," Jian said, though he wasn't sure if he meant it.

---

After Hana left for her dance practice, Jian sat alone, staring at his sketch. The coffee she'd brought sat untouched beside him, now lukewarm.

Why couldn't I just ask? he berated himself. Why can't I ever say what's on my mind?

The truth was, he wanted to ask about Tae-hyun. He wanted to know if there was something more between them, even though he knew how irrational it sounded. They were cousins, for heaven's sake. But the way they interacted—so natural, so effortless—only highlighted the gaps in his own relationship with Hana.

Jian sighed and closed his sketchbook, feeling defeated.

---

That evening, Jian wandered through campus, trying to clear his head. The air was crisp, carrying the faint scent of fallen leaves. He ended up near the dance studio, the soft rhythm of music spilling out into the night.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he peeked through the window. Inside, Hana was practicing, her movements graceful and fluid. She looked completely in her element, as though the world outside didn't exist.

But she wasn't alone.

Tae-hyun stood at the edge of the room, clapping as Hana finished her routine. He said something Jian couldn't hear, and Hana laughed, her face lighting up. Tae-hyun handed her a water bottle, and they started talking, their expressions relaxed and happy.

Jian's chest tightened. He knew he shouldn't be watching, but he couldn't look away. The scene felt intimate, even though it was probably innocent.

---

The door to the studio opened suddenly, and Jian stepped back, his heart racing. Tae-hyun walked out, his phone in hand, and noticed Jian standing nearby.

"Jian, right?" Tae-hyun said, smiling.

"Uh, yeah," Jian said, feeling caught.

"You waiting for Hana?" Tae-hyun asked, slipping his phone into his pocket.

Jian hesitated. "Not really. Just... passing by."

Tae-hyun nodded, leaning casually against the doorframe. "She's something, isn't she?"

"What do you mean?" Jian asked, his voice wary.

"Hana," Tae-hyun said, his tone admiring. "She's always been like this—bright, full of energy. People are naturally drawn to her."

Jian felt a lump form in his throat. "Yeah, she's... amazing."

Tae-hyun studied him for a moment, then smiled. "You like her, don't you?"

Jian froze, his mind racing. "What? No, I mean... we're just friends."

Tae-hyun raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Relax, man. I'm not judging. Hana's easy to like."

The way he said it made Jian's stomach churn. Tae-hyun wasn't mocking him, but the conversation felt too direct, too exposing.

Before Jian could respond, Tae-hyun pushed off the doorframe. "Anyway, I should get going. Good luck, man. You seem like a good guy."

With that, Tae-hyun walked off, leaving Jian standing there, feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment.

---

Hana emerged a few minutes later, her face glowing from the workout. She spotted Jian and smiled.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" she asked, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"I was just... walking around," Jian said, trying to sound casual.

"Perfect timing," Hana said. "Walk me back to the dorm?"

Jian nodded, falling into step beside her.

---

As they walked, Hana chatted about her routine, the upcoming performance, and how much work still needed to be done. Jian listened, but his mind was elsewhere.

Finally, he gathered the courage to speak. "Do you ever feel like... people don't really see the real you?"

Hana looked at him, surprised by the question. "What do you mean?"

"Like... they see what they want to see. The version of you that fits their idea of who you should be," Jian explained, struggling to put his feelings into words.

Hana was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean. People expect me to always be happy, energetic, the 'fun' one. But sometimes, I wish they'd ask how I'm really feeling."

Jian glanced at her, sensing a vulnerability she rarely showed. "How are you really feeling?"

Hana smiled softly. "Tired. But also... grateful. I have people who care about me, and that's enough."

Her words hit Jian harder than he expected. He wanted to be one of those people—someone she could rely on, someone who truly saw her.

---

By the time they reached her dorm, the tension in Jian's chest had eased slightly.

"Thanks for walking me back," Hana said.

"Anytime," Jian replied.

She hesitated for a moment, then reached into her bag and pulled out a small keychain—a tiny, delicate flower carved from wood.

"I saw this earlier and thought of you," she said, handing it to him. "For good luck."

Jian stared at the keychain, his heart swelling with emotion. "Thank you," he said softly.

Hana smiled and gave him a small wave before disappearing into the building.

Jian stood there for a long time, holding the keychain in his hand. It was a small gesture, but it felt monumental.

As he walked home, the shadows of doubt that had been haunting him began to fade, replaced by a quiet determination. He didn't have all the answers, but he knew one thing for certain—he wasn't ready to give up on Hana.