Conflicted feelings (1)

"Princess Mira, would you like to go have lunch now?"

The voice of her maid coming from below reminded the girl of the time. There was no need for anyone to accompany her at all times but there was a need to stick to schedule. At least that's what the girl thinks given how much her maids put emphasis on it.

"Yes, I'm coming down."

The girl responded as she looked at the pile of books in front of her. She got through four books relating to earth magic in just under five hours. It was decent progress but she wanted to do more.

"I guess I'll come back to it later."

She closed the book that she was reading and started to put the others away. As she was putting away the last book, her eyes gravitated towards a book she only briefly saw before.

'Prowess of the Gods.'

Just reading the title across the spine of the book, one could infer what it was about. The girl somewhat remembers reading the book a long time ago. Though even if she had, she would probably have been enthralled by the fantastic tales of the gods.

Thinking about the possible contents of the book, an uncomfortable feeling began to creep the girl.

'It can't be that right?'

Surely that was only a cover. An eye catching graphic that would make one want to read the book. As she was anxiously reaching towards the book, the sudden voice of her head maid made her retract her hand.

"Princess? Are you alright?"

Turning to the top of the stairs, the girl saw the blood red hair of her head maid coming into view,

"Ye-yeah… I'm fine Emma. Let's head down."

"That is great, Princess. Please allow me to lead the way."

She was asking more out of courtesy than anything. Though the girl obviously knew the way to the dining hall, it was better to have someone escort her as it would be that way during any public appearances. It was not particularly hard for her to follow her maid, so it was no big deal.

Though if there was one thing, the girl and her maid were practically silent on their way. The girl's mind was elsewhere at the moment so the silence went unnoticed by her.

However, her maid was a different story.

'Not talkative today either.'

It had been that case for the past week now, so it was far from new, but it was still off putting. Now that the girl was silent all the time, it made them remember just how talkative she was in the past. Apart from the return of the first princess, there was no other event that took place recently. So her change had to be because of that.

'It's still so odd to see'

Though there seemed to be a reason for her change, the change itself was odd. The first princess returning was supposed to be a joyous occasion, so the girl should've been even more chatty than before.

And yet now…

"..."

The girl hardly let out a word.

****

Just before reaching the dining hall, the two came across their counterparts.

"Mira! Lady Mythea."

Across the halls, they heard Aurelia's voice call out to them. Turning to her direction, they see her waving widely at them with a big grin on her face.

"Did you have lunch yet?"

"N-not yet. I just came from the library."

"That's great. Let's have lunch together then."

Aurelia grabbed the girl's hand and tilted her head. There was little room for argument from the girl, so she merely nodded her head at Aurelia's words.

"Great. Let's head in then."

The maids opened the door for the two princesses then closed it behind them. Normally they would also go inside to handle the princesses' meals but when they got a small glimpse inside, they already saw the emperor and empress.

The two walked away to continue with their other duties.

"They'll be alright, right?"

"I-I think so. Um… Lady Jenna?"

"Yes, Lady Emma?"

"Has Princess Aurelia always been that carefree?"

"Not necessarily. Though ever since we came back she has been smiling a lot more. Coming home really lifted her spirits. Why do you ask?"

"Well… it's because of Princess Mira. She's been really… out of character I guess."

Emma scratched the back of her head as she spoke.

"You know how Princess Aurelia's been dragging her to the library almost everyday? Princess Mira went there today. By herself."

"Isn't that a good thing? I don't see the problem."

"She doesn't do that."

It was as simple as that. The girl was not one to be studious on her own and Emma knew that better than anyone.

"Maybe she does now. People can change Emma."

Jenna's voice softened as she voiced her opinion. 

"Hmm…"

Even though that was what Jenna was saying, Emma was thinking differently. 

'Am I overthinking things?'

Even with all the evidence pointing in the same direction, it was hard for her to accept the sudden change. As the person that was probably the closest to the girl, Emma had enough reason to see the situation as rather suspect.

Though her gut was telling her that something was amiss, as there was no other evidence, she had to accept things.

No matter what she thought, it was a good change regardless. 

"I guess it is what it is."

With her mind off the topic, she continued with her other duties alongside Jenna.

****

"Ah there you two are. We were just about to ask someone to go fetch you two."

Even when he was just talking to them, Pyron's voice still boomed across the entire room.

"Hi daddy."

Aurelia gave her father a beaming smile and a casual wave.

"Hello sweetie. How was your lesson with Terain?"

"It went well. Teacher Greus is really excited to see me try adept class magic."

"Already? Isn't it a bit too early for that dear?"

"Well if she has the talent for it, I don't see why she shouldn't try. Sounds like Terain has confidence in her as well."

"If you say so. How about you Mira? Found anything interesting in the library?"

The girl shook her head at Jyllene's words.

"Keep at it dear. The process has meaning too."

Before the conversation lulled, the first course of lunch was served. The aroma quickly took over the table and before long only the sounds of silverware could be heard.

****

After a satisfying lunch, the imperial family sat in the dining hall for a bit giving their bodies a brief reprieve before going back to work.

"Oh right."

As they were all resting, Jyllene remembered something rather important. 

"Both of you, be sure to sleep early tonight ok?"

The girls tilted their heads at her as if to ask why.

"It's time for um… Ivan's funeral."

"Oh…"

'It really is official now.'

Aurelia's head hung low as she heard why they were to rest early today.

It had already been some time since Ivan had passed, but it was still a bit too take in.

"As we were supposed to become family, house Gildea invited us. We're going but if you don't feel like it sweetie, you can just stay here."

Pyron's normally loud voice was noticeably softer than usual as he leaned in and looked at Aurelia.

"No… I'll go."

What happened was already in the past. Though she misses him, it was time to face that he was gone.

Though her mind accepted it, her heart was less agreeable.

"Alright then dear."

Jyllene looked at her watch and stretched, readying herself once more.

"I'm gonna go back to work. As should all of you ok? No reason to waste the day. But if you need me, don't hesitate to come up."

Jyllene left presumably towards her office with those parting words.

"I suppose she's right."

Following in his wife's actions, Pyron also stood and readied himself.

"It'll be some time before your next teacher arrives, so how about you join your sister in the library in the meantime."

"I… think I'll just rest a bit more before teacher Dayuun arrives."

It was plain to Pyron that the smile on Aurelia's face was fake but he understood her feelings.

"Very well. Remember Aurelia, our doors are always open if you wish to talk."

"Thank you daddy."

"No problem sweetie."

Pyron gives his daughters a kiss on their forehead before going back to work. They were a bit old for the gesture but they both accepted it regardless.

Now only herself and her little sister remained in the dining hall.

"Sis…"

"Yeah Mira?"

"Are you ok?"

Her little sister's eyes were filled with worry for her.

"I'm ok Mira."

It was hard for even her to tell if she was saying that to convince the girl or herself. Though before she could have any other thoughts. 

"!!!"

Her little sister put her in an embrace. It was a sudden show of affection. Aurelia was going to ask what this was for, but she already had a guess.

Surrounded by her little sister's warmth, the feelings that Aurelia was trying to keep buried leaked out.

"Mira…"

Aurelia returned the hug with shaky arms and tears in her eyes. She was supposed to be the mature one of the two of them. But just this one time, Aurelia let herself cry in her sister's arms.

The girl brushed her hand across Aurelia's hair, comforting her. Like that, they stayed together for a little while.

****

"I'm sorry."

After indulging in the girl's embrace for a while, her big sister regained her composure.

"Did my eyes get puffy?"

The girl shook her head at her sister's words. Truth be told it was slightly puffy, but the girl felt that it would be impolite to say that.

"Ok, hoo… I should get ready to meet teacher Dayuun again. See you later Mira."

"Bye sis."

After waving each other goodbye, the two went their separate ways with the girl going to the library once more and her sister presumably to one of the parlors.

The thought of sitting in on one of their sessions had crossed the girl's mind before but she decided against it.

Her sister was older so it probably would have been hard to keep up with her lessons. Not to mention that they might also be learning different things as their status was ever so slightly different with her being the heir. 

And besides, these moments where she could do what she wanted had become somewhat rarer lately, so the girl was going to take full advantage of it. After being escorted to the palace library once more, she went back to the second floor to continue looking into ways to help her fiance.

As the girl grabbed, read, and placed back various books, her eyes were always drawn to a certain book. After enough passes through the aisles the girl's curiosity finally won and she took the book from the shelves.

Prowess of the Gods.

"..."

The girl stared at the appealing cover depicting a family tree of mostly cryomancers judging from the heads of white hair on them being watched over by the goddess of winter, Skadi. The eerie feeling that she had only grew stronger as she stared at the cover.

"Hoo…"

The girl tried to calm her nerves and the beating in her heart. There should be no way that what she was thinking was actually the case but she was beginning to have doubts.

Thanks to her fascination with fairytales and the stories about the gods, she was well aware of her situation. 

Not having an awakening despite being ten years old already was odd. Especially considering that she supposedly had a blessing from the goddess Sol. There was a record of someone else in her situation in the imperial records regarding the imperial family. However, that was of little comfort

Her mind came up with various explanations for her, all of which were rather difficult for her to accept. The book in front of her could hold the information that could confirm her suspicions, and she was afraid that they would be right.

"Ok… ok…"

The girl opened the book and began to read through its contents.

"This…"

The girl began to read the book with wide eyes…

Before tossing away the book.

"Is completely useless to me."