chapter 6

Eileen felt ashamed in Cesare's presence. Even she realised that this was a lousy attempt at crossdressing. Still, she wanted to hear his personal opinion on it.

Eileen observed Cesare cautiously but was taken aback the instant their eyes met. She had expected a look full of pity, not this unfamiliar intensity.

Red eyes, akin to ruins, were shattered and crumbling, with only remnants left. She could not fathom how his once proud and brilliantly shining eyes were now laid to ruin. 

The feeling of danger vanished instantly, and Cesare returned with his usual twinkle in his eye. Why do these moments always seem like a fleeting dream?

'I didn't conjure this up, did I?'

In her confusion, he moved to sit next to her. He took the untouched snacks and carelessly peeled off the wrapping paper.

"What are you so afraid of?"

When Eileen could not answer, he teased a small cookie to her lips. Eileen slowly opened her mouth, and he popped it in with a graceful motion.

"I cannot even stand the thought of hurting you. But if it comes to a kiss, I'm uncertain if I can uphold myself to that promise."

Eileen nearly choked on the cookie. Munching on it in distress, he was already unwrapping another one.

She was completely beside herself. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought she would ever have this conversation with Cesare, let alone hear him utter the word 'kiss'. How unbelievable! His flippant change of subject was hard to follow. It was so shocking that she felt like the earth was about to split open.

She accepted the second treat but refused to be fed again. So Cesare contented himself with brushing the crumbs off Eileen's lips.

After finally swallowing the first cookie, the girl asked in a cracking voice.

"Y-You really want to m-marry me?"

"Why do you remain suspicious? Shall I prove my worth in other ways?"

He did not seem angry, even though it sounded like he was hurting.

"No, no! That's not it."

Eileen hastily denied it. Then, holding onto the cookie he gave her, she was more careful with her next words.

"You've never acted like this before, it's strange. I-I mean, I understand that things are different now. It's just… It's surprising how much you've changed all of a sudden."

"Those seven years… Every change is worthwhile."

"Seven years?"

It was a confusing number. The war lasted three years, and she knew of no other significant events. Had something happened in the past that had been kept from the press? Perhaps she had misunderstood him, so she waited for him to correct her. Cesare just smiled without saying another word. Defeated, Eileen moved on.

"Isn't there another way?"

She could not find the courage to tell him the truth. The thought of a loveless marriage was unbearable, but expressing her love for him seemed too bold. She feared his reaction to her audacious feelings.

Marriage between nobles was, first and foremost, a transaction. To these blue-bloods, Eileen's romantic ideals would probably be dismissed as childish whimsy.

As her mind wandered to their kiss, Eileen bit the corner of her lip at the embarrassing memory. It may have been a casual act for Cesare, but it was a moment that would follow Eileen to her death. It was also the cause of many restless and sleepless nights.

'That was my first kiss.'

Eileen had always kept men at a distance. Perhaps her father was to blame, with his revolting habits of drinking, gambling, and whoring.

The young woman had grown up watching her mother suffer for her father's affairs. It was no wonder that she developed a strong aversion to the opposite gender and became devoted to her studies. 

Many men persisted, but fortunately for her, they withdrew when Eileen remained uninterested. Cesare's knights dealt with those who overstayed their welcome.

Eileen never received an embrace, much less a kiss. She only had a few brief interactions with the knights during their escorts, such as guiding her by the hand.

The nobles described her as 'rustic'. She would be a dull companion by their standards, both boringly innocent and tiresomely modest.

It never bothered Eileen. She did not crave attention from the opposite sex, so she lived a relatively contented life. 

That all changed on that eventful day.

Just the memory of that passionate kiss ignited her lips. The strange sensation she had felt at that moment slowly resurfaced from within.

"Eileen."

The low, husky voice startled Eileen out of her reverie. He did not even have the decency to stop tormenting her with scandalous questions!

"Did you really hate the kiss?"

How could she hate it? It was her first kiss with her secret crush, after all. Yet she could not confess to enjoying it either. She was at a loss for words in the face of a completely new and profound experience.

Cesare rolled his eyes slowly as he observed Eileen, who appeared perplexed. Her heartbeat quickened. After realising their uncomfortable proximity, Eileen closed her eyes and blurted out,

"Ye-yes, I hated it!"

Cesare grinned knowingly.

"I told you not to close your eyes when you lie, Eileen."

Who was she kidding? Cesare was a man who knew all of her ticks and habits. He saw through them all. Thus, Eileen was forced to confess the truth.

"I honestly don't know…"

He tilted his head as she spoke, her face crestfallen. The distance between them grew even smaller, their breaths almost touching. Cesare whispered with urgency.

"Should we keep exploring until you find out?"

Her heart had been racing for some time. It felt like it could explode at any moment.

His red eyes were piercing. Up close, she wondered how long his eyelashes were. His well-defined lips spoke in an even lower tone.

"It would be inconvenient if you disliked it. There are other things I would like to try with you in the future."

His breath danced along her skin, and the resonance of his deep voice echoed within her being. That strange and peculiar feeling surged through her body once more.

Frozen in place, Eileen emitted a short, breathy whimper. Just before their lips could meet, she swiftly turned her head.

Eileen muttered, her eyes widening at the unfolding events. Feeling his lips brush against her neck, a shiver ran down her spine.

At first, his touch was light, but then it intensified. His lips found hers, trailing with the tip of his tongue. A soft sucking sound followed, and his teeth grazed delicately against her flesh. A faint, almost tickling feeling, akin to pain, enveloped her.

'What is this?'

Her hair stood up all over her body, and her abdomen tightened at the new sensations.

'Why do I feel like this? Was it because of the bite? Or…'

Eileen knew very little about coupling, only the basic biological facts. She could not tell what sensation came from where or what caused what. All she could do was tremble and plead with Cesare.

"This is weird–! Ah!"

Her body trembled and twitched with each strange sound that escaped her throat. His long fingers tugged on her shirt's loose collar.

As his lips traced her exposed collarbone, she felt her nether region tighten. It was all too much, and she could not stand it any longer.

"Stop…"

Eileen pushed Cesare away in a panic, driven purely by instinct. He seized her wrist, despite her struggles, and yanked it to his lips. In a sudden, violent motion, he sank his teeth into the tender flesh where the blue veins flowed.

It was a short bite, but Cesare refused to let the wrists go, nursing his teeth marks with his tongue. Eileen's fingertips twitched as she panted, flushed at the sign of his claim.

Her heart fluttered at his open display of lust, his red eyes burning with need.

"You should only do things like this with people you like…"

Eileen subconsciously whispered her thoughts. It might be a naive or stupid idea… She could not even think of a clever way to express her raging thoughts! All that was left was a head full of chaos.

She was unsure what to do, and Cesere stroked Eileen's cheek lightly, finding her very sweet.

"You can do it with the person you intend to marry."

He responded casually and carried on in a soft tone.

"Tomorrow you will enter the Imperial Palace. Come to the Victory Banquet and congratulate me."

Would it be possible?

Eileen nodded absentmindedly. Then Cesare stroked her head.

"We'll talk more at the banquet. And about your father…"

He paused briefly before continuing with a reluctant tone.

"Do not worry. I will find him and send him home."

***