Chapter 15. "Rolling stone."

Hey kid.

I hope that this entry finds you well.

Wherever you are, and if you even exist yet.

Me?

I don't know.

I am either fine or dead lol.

I can't tell the future kid.

But I can make sure that these old notes find you one way or another.

I won't keep you, you probably have many things to do there in your timeline lol.

And you -loyal Reader- I won't keep you either, and I hope that you have been just as well in these chaotic times we live in. 

Catch you on the flip side.

Enjoy!

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September 7th, 2018.

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Dear you.

XXXXX XXXXX.

Also known as "Paradise."

She was my godmother.

She passed away on my 29th birthday...

That was a bad start to 2018 for me, and it kinda set the tone for this year...

She was a great woman.

When I was 13 I met her son.

XXXXX, and with him was his little brother XXXXX.

XXXXX couldn't have been more than 11, and XXXXX (or XXXXX as I came to know him) was probably about 7-8.

We all became fast friends and that's when I met what I came to see as my second family. 

I don't know why I got the urge to talk about them...but I guess you are meant to know that part of my story...

XXXXX was a tall, skinny, rather ugly kid.

Not SUPER ugly lol but ugly enough to make talking to girls...difficult.

I created a monster...

I showed and taught him how to approach and talk to girls.

That was one of the worst choices I've ever made lol.

While I don't blame myself for all of the things he's done...I know he became who he is/was due to my guidance at points in his life.

I can only apologize to all of the women that he's treated like crap over the years...

More about him some other time.

XXXXX A.K.A. XXXXX.

He grew up chasing us.

-Me and XXXXX- and he wasn't always welcomed along lol.

His life was tough.

XXXXX's as well...

Their mom was a rolling stone.

She wouldn't stay put in one state for too long...

He is currently in jail for murder.

From what I hear, he didn't do it.

His "friend" had his gun and pulled the trigger.

I believe this story...

I know XXXXX had a really good heart...

Since the gun belonged to XXXXX...

Well he has to do the time.

That's how it works.

Don't tag along.

It's not worth sitting in jail for 20 years. 

-Dad.

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 -Man...this was a tough one for me.

I have never been very close to either of my biological parents, unfortunately, and that never sat well with me.

This woman was my godmother, and she treated me so much better than my real mother ever had til that point. My mum wasn't abusive or anything, nonetheless she gave birth to and raised eight of us very nearly at once.

That is quite the feat.

My godmother though...SHE was a whole different type of human.

She helped me embrace myself and my weird, artistic mind.

My sense of style.

My sense of self.

She was so kind, open, and welcoming to me when I was young and without such a mother figure in the ways that I needed one...I wish that I had gotten a chance to sit and talk with her for a bit before she suddenly passed.

To thank her for everything that she did for me and gave me with or without her knowledge. 

To this day I still have no idea what fate took her, and her son...well, we had a falling out at the end of 2024 actually...he never told me. 

Not with any certainty anyway...

Bah.

She helped raise me when my own mother wasn't around, and she instilled in me a sense of pride and awareness of myself and the world around me that I hadn't shown up til that point.

She was quite uncouth at times lol, her generation was just that way.

She favored a good, stiff drink, and whatever narcotic was her choice.

She and my mom had become fast friends, and they could often be found together at one local pub or another with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

When I was a kid the world was a bit different lol

At 14, 15, and 16 I was already finding myself perched on a barstool or leaning over the edge of a pool table at 9, 10, and 11 pm.

Often time with a wine cooler in one hand or the other.

In Wisconsin, the bars would let you in with a parent, you know? lol

And as BOTH of my moms were friends with all of the Barkeeps, it was not uncommon for them to offer me a little something on the house.

I was not one to indulge though, and I am glad that I never really picked the habit up even from that young age. I did drink in my 20s, but never excessively.

-Her eldest son (the one who was 11ish when we met) was my best friend for nearly 23 years.

He was recently arrested for something that my morals would not let me keep him around after, so we went our separate ways. Another story for another time, and for AFTER the legal proceedings are over.

I feel like I created a monster with him...

As stated above, he was tall, gangly, and not the most handsome.

I taught him how to be confident, and to offset his physical shortcomings with a sharpened vocabulary, humor, and impressive wit.

It worked a bit too well, and now he is a womanizing, manipulative, abusive piece of work...

He became the Anakin Skywalker to my Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I live with that to this day, and I feel like I owe all of his exes an apology, lbvs...

-Her younger child -the one who followed us about all the time, and eventually caught a murder charge- was so bright. 

So artistic and creative and funny and full of potential.

He got caught up with the wrong crowd...

His mom didn't help with that simply because she inadvertently destroyed his stability by constantly moving across the country every 2-3 years.

The sad part is, she HAD to.

She had fibromyalgia and the colder Wisconsin winters were no good for her.

She would move to Florida or Texas or somewhere similar so that the cold couldn't reach her.

That made for a very hectic and mobile lifestyle for her children, you know?

I am rambling a bit...

He is in jail now.

Has been for...man.

Maybe 10 years now?

It is hard to say, I haven't spoken to him in years.

Be careful who you call your friends and who you tag along with kid...

You never know what small choice could either take or change your life or that of someone else...

His mother passed away with him in prison, and he didn't even get to go to her funeral.

I'm sorry that this entry got a bit heavy.

Death sucks, you know?

She died on my birthday!

You know something?

I know that she was laughing at me "crying like a bitch" as she floated off to wherever her Aetheral wings carried her lol. 

She was that sort of rough-and-tumble woman.

I miss her dearly...

She would have loved to read this series lol.

She would have loved to mee you kid, I am sure of it!

I will see you back here for the next one, yeah?

Safe travels kid -you too Readers!-

And always:

Stay safe.

Stay healthy.

Stay vigilant.

-Redd.