Chapter 22: I don't want your forgiveness, my boy

Basil POV:

"Queen Sybil was the strongest enchantress in the demon realm, or so we were told, when she first appeared," I leaned into Rowan, wanted to get some bravery from his warmth, his good soul. I knew how the story will end. Dreaded the moment when those damning words would have to leave my lips.

Still, I owed it to the boy. It won't wash the blood off my hands, but I didn't even think I deserved something like that. No, what I wanted, was that the boy got a reason to hate me if he really wanted to do so. 

Anger without a goal was like a sickness for the soul. I didn't want him to keep running in this cursed circle of anger and confusion.

"King Stephen was not very popular back then. Just the third son, doomed to get a small keep somewhere, never to wear a crown," the boy must have good memories of his parents. I was destroying them, that I knew with certainty. 

But for an infected wound to heal, one had to cut the infection out. And if that was not possible, to amputate the entire limb.

"Then, within months after Queen Sybil started going out with Prince Stephen, Princess Lydia, the crown princess, died in childbirth. Her son should have been the crowned prince after her, but the poor boy died in the cradle."

Something that should have given us all a hint that something was wrong. But back then, Lergo was just a peaceful giant, which didn't like mingling with the other countries. 

"Then, Prince Caspian should have taken the throne," I continued, as the boy took to the bottle once more. "But then he had the bad luck of dying during a hunt. It was a miracle when Prince Stephen didn't take ill or die months after becoming crown prince. A week after his coronation as such, he married the Queen."

I had no idea how I could tell him about demons, deals for souls, or the other information I had pieced together during the years. Just knew that he looked like a smart boy, and could figure the things out for himself.

"And... mom wanted the throne?" He whispered. I nodded.

"Not because she wanted to rule over Lergo, no. She was a demon saint, Nate. If she wanted to rule, she would have single-handedly taken over Lergo. She already had an army. Nothing could have stopped her. But there was one thing she couldn't take by force: The Divine Right."

Most people would say that The Divine Right was just nonsense. Those people hadn't fought against a demoness with one. The gods were fickle things, yes, but they stood behind their champions. 

"The Queen wanted to become the champion of Loki, the trickster God, have you heard of him?" I asked softly. The most people in Lergo still cursed that name under their breaths. I was sure that Nate had heard it a couple of times, still, I wanted to word my next sentence as softly as possible.

"The one who... wanted to bring Ragnarök with the help of his son, the World Serpent?" He asked. As I nodded, he emptied the rest of the bottle. "Mom... she gave money to the poor. Fed the orphans..."

I let him mull over his own words. He knew his mother better than I. I was certain that he was now thinking about her in a more critical fashion. He shifted the bottle in his hands, exhaled loudly.

"But they wouldn't be orphans, if it wasn't for her, right?"

The truth was now within his grasp. I needed to just lead him an extra mile further.

"For the first couple of months it was not so. Lergo continued to be a rich country, with abundant resources. The relationship which she kept with her neighbors didn't change, and then..." I didn't want to tell it to the poor boy. It was too cruel for words. He was just a child. 

I lowered my head, held my tongue.

"Yes?" But the boy wanted to finally get the veil off his eyes.

"But then the Queen started sacrificing people to Loki," said Rowan. My rock in the ocean of ruin. "She started off with criminals, then worked her way up to pregnant women. Pregnant women in the ninth month. Loki wanted such sacrifices from her. She grew stronger and stronger. The King, your father, made sure that she never ran out of people to kill."

Nate's gaze was locked on Rowan. I felt better, that I didn't have to say such things to the poor boy. What would follow next was something that I shamelessly left up to Rowan. Many of the people who knew me would say that I had a bleeding heart.

Maybe they would even be right, I didn't know. It is not like I never killed anyone. How could I have gone through the ranks without darkening my soul?

Still, I didn't want to utter this truth to the boy. It was too cruel for words.

"Everything went without a protest, until Loki demanded King Stephen as a sacrifice," continued Rowan. Nate started to shake. A movement which took over his entire body. I knew for a fact that he wished that the bottle was now full of vodka.

"And she... my mother?" He was going through hell. I didn't want to be him.

"Yes. And then Loki demanded you," said Rowan. "But the Queen didn't want to sacrifice you. She disobeyed Loki, offered him the population of a whole of three countries. Her plan was to melt the Heart of the World. According to the intelligence we have gathered in Naschestan, the Queen made a deal with the God of Chaos, to put a barrier around Lergo. She... loved you."

Which was her only saving grace. The reason I chose a fast-working potion to mix into her drink, and not something which would have taken hours to put her six meters under the ground.

"My mom... my mom..."

"Nate!" We heard a scream from outside. I was glad that one of the prince's friends had come to find him. Wanted to just forget the bitter taste in my month, the regret in my soul.

I was a coward. The truth as to who killed the Queen didn't leave my lips. Rowan spared me as well. Still, the truth would one day be reviled. 

Of that, I was sure.