The Weight We Carry

The wind carried the distant echo of the school bell, signaling the end of lunch, but none of us moved.

For the first time in years, I had let someone in.

Haru stuffed the last bite of his food into his mouth, speaking through a full mouth. "So… what now?"

I glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he swallowed, "you just unloaded your entire past on us. Heavy stuff, by the way. Are you expecting us to treat you differently now?"

I looked down at my hands. Did I?

I had spent so long assuming that if anyone knew the truth, they'd abandon me. That the weight of my past would be too much for them to bear.

But they were still here.

Sayoko crossed her arms. "If you're waiting for us to leave, it's not happening."

Kane nodded beside me. "We're still here, Yuki. Because we want to be."

The words sank deep into my chest.

For so long, I had been alone.

Even before that night.

My entire life had been dictated by expectations—by parents who saw me as a reflection of their failures rather than as their son.

I had convinced myself that isolation was the only thing I deserved.

But here they were.

I exhaled slowly, letting the tension in my shoulders ease. "I… I don't know what comes next."

Haru grinned, slapping a hand on my back. "Then let's figure it out together."

I looked at him, at all of them.

Sayoko. Kane. Haru.

They weren't just classmates anymore.

They were my friends.

I had spent so long running from my past, but maybe—just maybe—this was the first real step toward something new.

Something better.

I picked up my untouched lunch and took a bite. The food was cold, but it didn't matter.

For the first time in years—

I didn't feel like I was eating alone.

The wind carried the faint sounds of the school below—distant chatter, the shuffle of students returning to class—but up here on the rooftop, it felt like another world.

For a moment, none of us spoke.

I kept my eyes on the half-empty lunchbox in my hands, still processing everything that had just happened.

Then, Kane shifted beside me. "Yuki."

I glanced at her. "Yeah?"

"You said… you killed them to end their suffering." Her voice was quiet, careful. "But… what about you?"

I felt my grip tighten around my chopsticks.

I hadn't thought about that.

Because it had never mattered.

My entire life, I had been something for others—a prodigy, a tool, a son who was meant to achieve everything they couldn't. The moment I ended that cycle, I thought I had erased everything I was meant to be.

What was left of me after that?

Haru leaned back on his hands. "I don't think anyone's ever asked you that before, huh?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then I'll ask," Sayoko said, her voice firm. "What do you want, Yuki?"

The question settled in my chest like a weight.

What did I want?

For years, the answer had always been nothing. I wanted nothing. Needed nothing. Because nothing belonged to me in the first place.

But now—

I looked at them.

The people who stayed. The people who knew everything and still sat beside me.

Maybe, for the first time—

"I want to live," I said.

Kane's expression softened. "Then live."

The rooftop fell silent again, but this time, the quiet didn't feel suffocating.

For once, it felt like the beginning of something new.

And for the first time—

I wasn't afraid.

The wind swept across the rooftop, rustling the edges of our lunch boxes. The weight of my own words still hung in the air.

"I want to live."

I had never said it out loud before. Never even thought about it as something I was allowed to have.

For years, survival had just been a consequence of my actions, not a choice. But now… it was.

I felt their eyes on me—waiting, watching. Sayoko's fingers curled against the fabric of her sleeve, as if holding herself back from saying something. Kane's lips were pressed into a thin line, deep in thought. Haru, for once, wasn't making some sarcastic comment.

I exhaled. "You wanted to know everything." My voice was quieter than before. "Now you do."

Sayoko nodded. "Yeah."

I looked down at my hands. "So?"

Kane tilted her head. "So what?"

"Do you still want to be around me?"

For a moment, none of them spoke. Then—

"Idiot."

I blinked as Kane flicked my forehead. "What kind of question is that?"

I frowned, rubbing the spot. "A fair one."*

"A stupid one," Haru corrected, sighing. "We're still here, aren't we?"

Sayoko nodded. "You think we'd just leave?"

I didn't know what I had expected. Pity, maybe. Fear. But not this. Not certainty.

Not the quiet warmth in their voices.

Kane folded her arms. "You killed them because you had no choice. That's not something we'll ever fully understand. But it doesn't change who you are now."

"And who am I?"

"Someone who wants to live," Sayoko answered. "And if that's what you want, then we'll make sure you do."

I let out a slow breath.

The weight in my chest didn't disappear—but it felt lighter.

Haru smirked. "Man, I thought this rooftop lunch would be boring, but turns out it was the most dramatic meal of my life."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to be here, you know."

"Yeah, right." He leaned back against the railing. "Someone's gotta make sure you don't mope around all day."

Kane smiled. "Besides, now that you've told us everything, you don't have to carry it alone anymore."

Sayoko nodded. "We're your friends, Yuki."*

Friends.

The word felt foreign.

Unfamiliar.

But maybe—

I looked at them, at the people who stayed.

—maybe it didn't have to be.

I let out a quiet laugh, shaking my head. "Alright."*

Kane raised a brow. "Alright?"

"Alright," I repeated. "Let's eat before our food gets cold."

They grinned, and just like that, the conversation shifted—back to teasing, to small complaints about class, to the things normal students talked about.

And for once, I let myself enjoy it.

For once, I let myself believe—

Maybe living wasn't so impossible after all.

The rooftop lunch had settled into something quieter now, less heavy but not entirely weightless. The wind still carried the echo of what I had confessed, but instead of pushing me away, it carried me forward.

I had spoken the truth.

They had listened.

And they had stayed.

That alone should have been enough.

But the uncertainty lingered, somewhere deep in my chest.

Was it really that simple?

Was I allowed to move on?

---

The afternoon classes passed in a blur.

Teachers spoke, chalk scraped against the blackboard, students whispered in low voices. But none of it reached me.

I kept thinking about their reactions. About Sayoko's unwavering certainty. Kane's immediate acceptance. Haru's casual deflection.

No hesitation. No fear.

It didn't make sense.

After everything I had done, how could they still—

"Yuki?"

I blinked.

Kane was staring at me, eyes narrowed. "You spaced out."*

"Just thinking."*

She studied me for a second longer before sighing. "Right. Well, don't think too much or your head might explode."*

"Thanks for the concern."*

"No problem."*

The final bell rang, cutting off whatever snarky comment she had lined up next. Students gathered their things, voices rising as they shuffled out the door.

Haru stretched, yawning loudly. "Finally. I thought this day would never end."*

Sayoko rolled her eyes. "It was six hours, Haru. Not a lifetime."*

"Felt like one."*

I stood up, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I hesitated for a moment, then said, "Come with me to the shrine."*

Kane raised a brow. "Why?"

"I don't know." I exhaled. "I just... feel like going there."*

Sayoko and Kane exchanged glances, but neither of them questioned it.

Haru groaned. "Man, why do I feel like we're about to get wrapped up in something again?"

"No one's forcing you," Kane shot back.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Let's go before I change my mind."*

---

The shrine was quiet when we arrived.

The sun had begun to set, casting a golden hue over the worn stone steps.

I hadn't been back since that night.

Since I sat here with Komaru, sifting through my past.

Now, I stood in the same spot, but it felt different.

Lighter.

Sayoko stepped forward, tilting her head. "You come here often?"

"Not really."*

Kane glanced around. "So why now?"

"Because I need to stop running."*

Haru let out a slow whistle. "Damn. Alright. Go off, main character."*

I huffed a laugh, shaking my head. "Idiot."*

Sayoko smiled. "But he's right, in a way. This is your story, Yuki. And you're the one writing it."*

I looked at them—the people who had chosen to stay.

Maybe it wasn't fate.

Maybe it wasn't some grand, predetermined path.

Maybe it was just this.

Me.

Making a choice.

I let out a slow breath and turned back toward the shrine.

The wind stirred through the trees, whispering through the leaves.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them.

"Let's go home."*

And for the first time in a long time, I meant it.

The walk back was quieter than usual.

Not the uncomfortable kind of silence—just… a settled one.

Like the weight that had clung to me for so long had finally started to loosen its grip.

Sayoko walked beside me, arms crossed as she occasionally glanced my way. Kane had her hands stuffed into her pockets, her gaze fixed ahead. Haru trailed slightly behind, kicking a stray rock along the pavement.

For once, none of them felt the need to fill the silence with empty words.

And I appreciated that.

The streets were bathed in the dim glow of the setting sun, stretching long shadows across the pavement.

A quiet evening. A normal evening.

For the first time in years, I was just… walking home with friends.

No weight of expectation. No fear of judgment.

Just this.

And maybe that was enough.

---

As we reached the part of town where our paths would split, Kane was the first to stop.

She turned to me, shifting her bag higher on her shoulder. "You alright?"

I hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah."*

She didn't look convinced, but she didn't push either. "Good. Get some sleep. You look like you need it."*

"Tch. Thanks for the concern."*

"I'm always concerned. You just don't listen."*

I smirked. "Right. See you tomorrow, Kane."*

"Later."*

She waved lazily before heading off.

Haru was next, stretching as he yawned. "Man, what a day. Never thought I'd be hearing all that deep emotional stuff while eating lunch."*

"Would you have preferred another dumb argument with Kane?" Sayoko teased.

"Hey, those are the highlight of my day."*

I shook my head. "Goodnight, Haru."*

"Yeah, yeah. Try not to overthink everything, okay? You're already short, don't make yourself shrink even more."*

"Shut up."*

He laughed, giving a lazy wave before walking off.

That just left me and Sayoko.

She stood there for a moment, staring at me with that unreadable expression of hers.

"You still worried?" she finally asked.

"Not worried," I admitted. "Just… unsure."*

She nodded, as if she understood exactly what I meant. "That's fine, Yuki. You don't have to have everything figured out right now."*

I exhaled, looking up at the sky. "I know. It's just… weird. To let go of something I carried for so long."*

"Then don't let it go."*

I frowned, glancing at her. "What?"

She gave me a small smile. "Your past is part of you. Don't throw it away—just carry it differently."*

I stared at her for a moment before huffing a quiet laugh. "You always talk like a wise old lady, you know that?"

"I'll take that as a compliment."*

I shook my head. "See you tomorrow, Sayoko."*

"See you, Yuki."*

She turned and walked off, disappearing into the evening streets.

I stood there for a moment longer, watching as the last traces of sunlight faded behind the buildings.

Then, with a slow breath, I turned and headed home.

For the first time in years, the weight on my shoulders didn't feel so heavy.

Maybe—just maybe—I could finally move forward.