Chapter 60: Tug of War between Conscience and Reality

The vehicle blocking the front started slowly, but Xu Tianna seemed not to notice, her shoulders trembling slightly. The vehicle behind was already honking to urge her.

Su Ran finally patted Xu Tianna's shoulder gently and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

Xu Tianna raised her head and wiped away her tears with her hand. She didn't look at him, but just said softly, "It's okay", and then shifted the gear and drove along with the traffic. At this time, the song "Love Proverbs" ended, and the car gradually returned to silence.

Su Ran didn't intend to let Xu Tianna know that he worked at Baoli, so he asked her to drop him off at a station. Before leaving, he asked Xu Tianna, "Hey, can you come to help me move tonight? It's more convenient to use your car."

"If you don't work overtime tonight, it's fine." Xu Tianna didn't refuse.

Su Ran smiled and said, "Okay, call me after get off work."

Xu Tianna nodded, closed the car window, and drove away in the vast traffic in an instant. Su Ran stood there for a long time, and in his mind, he recalled her crying on the steering wheel because of a song, and he felt lost.

He didn't want to explore what kind of memories Xu Tianna had evoked in the song "Love Proverbs", but he couldn't help but sympathize with her, and this sympathy further aggravated his guilt.

When Su Ran came to the company, before she could catch her breath, Fang Yuan called the members of the planning copywriting team to start a "brainstorming".

During the meeting, everyone gradually evolved from expressing their opinions to verbal battles, setting off waves of thinking. However, Su Ran always leaned over, sitting absent-mindedly in the corner, and said nothing. This silence lasted until the end of the meeting.

After the brainstorming ended, everyone left with folders. Su Ran still sat there, and his thoughts had already drifted far away.

Fang Yuan took out a cigarette and shook it under his nose. Su Ran came back to his senses after smelling the tobacco, and asked Fang Yuan woodenly: "Is the storm over?"

"I just want to know where the storm has taken you?" Fang Yuan's tone was a little unhappy. He was always rigorous and serious at work.

Su Ran was speechless. He snatched the cigarette from Fang Yuan's hand, lit it and took a deep breath, but Fang Yuan took it back, extinguished it, and threw it into the trash can.

Su Ran frowned and said: "Why are you competing with me? I'm annoyed!"

Fang Yuan was stunned for a moment, and then realized the reason for his irritability. He dragged a chair and sat down next to Su Ran. Before he spoke, his face was full of expressions that were about to start a painstaking exhortation.

"Are you still entangled in the matter of Zhuo Mei and Xu Tianna?"

"I'm so annoyed! From yesterday to now, I feel like a criminal who dares not confess after committing a crime. It's like a lump in my throat!" Su Ran said word by word, venting his inner depression.

Fang Yuan sighed, slowed down his tone and advised: "Su Ran, in fact, I have already explained the interests to you very clearly yesterday. Even if you feel guilty, it is ultimately an internal matter of Zhuomei, and we must stay out of it."

Su Ran fell silent again. It was useless to talk to Fang Yuan about this matter. He could not look at the problem from his own standpoint. But Fang Yuan was not at fault. Although they were old friends for nearly ten years, they were not the same kind of people, and their life trajectories were also completely different. At this moment, Su Ran understood why they graduated from the same university but took different paths after graduation.

After a long time, Su Ran said to Fang Yuan: "I will sit for a while, I will think about this matter clearly."

Fang Yuan nodded, and then reminded: "I don't know what you think about this promotion plan. Let's talk alone later."

"Okay." Su Ran responded.

Fang Yuan took another cigarette from the cigarette box and handed it to Su Ran, saying: "Go to the smoking room to smoke, and pay attention to the impact in the company."

Su Ran took the cigarette numbly and looked at Fang Yuan. Fang Yuan patted his shoulder and turned away. Su Ran's fingers quickly turned the cigarette, and he felt more and more numb inside.

At noon, Su Ran and Fang Yuan had lunch in the company restaurant. They chose a relatively quiet corner to sit down and did not directly mention the promotion plan they were preparing.

Fang Yuan said to Su Ran: "Yan Yan is free tonight, let her cook a few dishes, come to my house, and have a few drinks."

"Forget it tonight, I'm moving."

"Has the moving not been settled yet?" Fang Yuan was a little surprised.

"No, I just found a suitable house and was busy recently."

Fang Yuan nodded, and after a brief silence, he said: "Su Ran, I'm not saying anything bad about you, but you're also at the age where you should start a family and build a career. If you can settle down, settle down as soon as possible."

Su Ran asked Fang Yuan seriously: "You said that we have graduated for so many years, and classmates and friends who should be stable have settled down, and those who shouldn't be stable are desperately trying to settle down. Why am I the only one who lives like in a fantasy?"

Fang Yuan answered without hesitation: "Because you have been too self-centered over the years, and your self-centeredness is accompanied by strong idealism. Su Ran, you have to know that no matter how beautiful the castle built with sand on the beach is, it will collapse in an instant when a wave hits. Your pain and anxiety come from this."

Fang Yuan's words made Su Ran feel confused. He understood that the waves Fang Yuan was talking about were the cruel reality, and his pain came from his unwillingness to accept reality, so he fantasized about the city in the sky and the long-haired woman waiting in the city.

Fang Yuan added: "Don't think about the struggle among Zhuomei's top management. People have to live in reality after all. Conscience is important, but this matter has gone beyond the scope of simple conscience. If you only measure and tell Xu Tianna based on conscience or humanity, reality will give you a heavy blow. Su Ran, learn to respect reality and don't put yourself in danger."

"Why do you bring this up again?" Su Ran said with some dissatisfaction.

After a short silence, Fang Yuan sighed softly: "Because I understand you, I am worried."

Su Ran stopped talking. Although he and Fang Yuan are not of the same kind, the brotherhood of nearly ten years has made Fang Yuan understand him better than many people. If he did not consider this matter based on humanity and conscience, how could he be so tormented?

Fang Yuan continued to say to the silent Su Ran: "If Chen Jingming takes advantage of the internal strife of Zhuomei to bring two first-line brands to Baoli Department Store, he will almost certainly be promoted to vice president of the company. As his confidants, you and I can also be regarded as having a firm foothold in the company. Especially for you, Su Ran, this will be a major leap in your life, and your life will also undergo a qualitative change."

Su Ran lit a cigarette, took a deep puff, raised his head and closed his eyes, and exhaled the smoke in his mouth. For the first time, he felt that the belief he had held for many years began to waver. Perhaps he should really respect reality. He has reached the age of starting a family and building a career. Now he finally sees the dawn of life. If he extinguishes it with his own hands, he may struggle in the darkness in the future.

"Let's talk about your ideas for this promotion plan."

Fang Yuan's words temporarily pulled Su Ran out of the quagmire of struggle. He finally nodded and prepared to discuss the promotion plan with Fang Yuan. However, the waves in his heart did not subside, and conscience and reality were tug-of-war fiercely in his heart. On one hand, there is guilt and sympathy for Xu Tianna, and on the other hand, there is the career prospects of himself and his friends. The future path becomes increasingly unclear in this dilemma. Every step is full of unknowns and fears. He does not know where he will end up, nor what impact his choice will have on the people around him. He can only grope forward in this confusion and find a trace of balance and peace in the collision between human nature and reality.