Chasing the storm

I crave the chaos, the rush, the fire,

My mind is a storm, my heart on a wire.

I want to push, to pull, to fall,

To feel something, to burn it all.

The pain feels familiar, like a broken song,

Like it's where I belong, like I've been here too long.

I chase the high, the sharpest cut,

The kind of hurt that doesn't shut.

But do I want the chaos or just the need?

The rush of emotion, the craving to bleed.

I want to feel something deep in my bones,

A connection, a spark, before I'm alone.

I'll reach for you, though I know it will hurt,

A twisted dance, a fleeting flirt.

I'm caught in this pattern, in this game I play,

Hoping the chaos will guide me today.

But maybe it's not you I need to destroy,

Maybe it's just a way to feel joy.

So I'll speak my truth, raw and unrefined,

And hope for a feeling that clears my mind.