All My Fault

The Blade ship drifted through the void, its sleek hull slicing through the silence of deep space. The hum of the controls filled the cockpit, where Sil and Shiro sat side by side, their eyes fixed on the glowing navigational readout. The coordinates blinked on the screen—they were close now. Just a few more hours of sublight travel. 

Shiro leaned back, rubbing his hands together. "Alright, let's run it again. What's the least suicidal way to grab the boys and get out before anyone notices?" 

Sil exhaled tiredly, fingers drumming absently on the console. "Stealth is the best option, but that's a long shot. If they're being held in a secure location, we might have to breach and extract them manually. Best case, they're in a cell, and we can hack in, grab them, and ghost out before anyone realizes." 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. "Worst case?" 

Sil's lips pressed into a thin line. "We walk into a trap, and they kill us all." 

Shiro winced. "Not a fan of that one." 

Neither of them were. 

The ship remained quiet aside from the steady thrumming of the engines in low-power mode. The girls had been asleep for hours, resting before the mission ahead. Sil and Shiro had taken turns monitoring the ship's course, occasionally trading words but mostly lost in thought. 

Shiro frowned at the readout. "No life signs detected yet, but that doesn't mean much. We'll assume there's someone watching. We'll have to go in ready for anything." 

A soft zip signaled the cockpit door was sliding open. 

Jade was stretching her arms overhead, suppressing a yawn as she and Cassidy entered the room with sombre expressions. They both wore dark circles beneath their glazed over gazes. Though she had just had a full night's rest Jade felt like she hadn't slept at all. She was restless. Judging by the absent minded look Cassidy had on her face and the extra frazzled untamed way her usual well kept hair had become, Jade could only guess she felt the same.

"Morning, boys," Jade said, her voice still laced with sleep. "Any brilliant ideas while we were gone?" 

Sil leaned back in his seat, looking over his shoulder at them. "Working on it." 

Cassidy folded her arms, nodding toward the ship's display. "How close are we?" 

Shiro glanced at the readout. "Minutes away from visuals. We'll drop down in speed, engage stealth mode, and—" 

The ship shuddered, the distinctive lurch of the engines disengaging. 

Outside the viewport, the void stretched wide, stars glowing cold and distant. And then, looming ahead, something massive came into view. 

Not a planet. 

Not a station. 

What quickly became visible ahead of them was what looked like a city ship. 

Its monolithic form hovered in the abyss, darkened by time and neglect. Towers and spires jutted out like broken teeth, their lights long extinguished. Entire sections looked gutted, hollowed out by age or battle.

It was like an ancient beast, the remnants of a civilization that once soared through the stars. But Sil knew it wasn't dead. The ship was just floating still, it maintained a general rotation around what appeared to be the remnemnants of some destroyed planet.

His breath caught. A chill coiled through his chest. His fingers gripped the console. 

He knew this ship. 

Recognition hit him like a fist to the gut. His stomach twisted, his skin went cold. 

"Calyx." Sil said breathlessly.

Sil had been here before. 

"A lifetime ago. Back when i still looked like my brothers do now—back when I had been full of rage, blind with purpose. I stood aboard that very ship, face to face with its ruler, a being who called himself a god. And I killed him."

Or so he had thought. 

A dry, sick feeling settled in his throat. He sank into his chair, staring at the ghostly outline of the vessel. 

He didn't speak for a while. His hands went to his face, pressing into his eyes. His breath came slow and uneven. Guilt curdled in his gut.

This was his fault. 

He had spent centuries hunting Celestials, eliminating threats before they could come to Earth. He thought he was doing the right thing. He had seen what would come if he did nothing—the destruction. He had been so sure, so ruthless. Just like that night at the Temple back on Blade island, he had thought he was doing the right thing. Thought everything would be ok in the end. He believed that he knew what he was doing.

However he had been so incredibly wrong. And people that he loved had lost their lives because of it.

But now, sitting there, staring at the ruined city of a god he had slain, he saw the chain reaction. 

"Calyx came back. He came back because of me. He took Vorden and Raten because of me."

His hands clenched into fists against his forehead. 

"How many more are out there? How many others have waited in the dark, sharpening their blades, biding their time? How many others might come for me? How long then, before they stop coming for me and go for Earth instead?"

The others watched him in silence. None of them had ever seen Sil like this. 

Shiro was the first to speak. "Hey. Stop."

Sil didn't move. 

Shiro smacked his arm. "I mean it. Cut that shit out." 

Sil's fingers curled. "This is on me." His voice was hoarse. 

"Maybe," Cassidy said, shrugging. "But you also saved a hell of a lot of people. Don't act like you were some mindless killer out for blood. You made choices based on what you thought was right." 

Jade stepped forward, kneeling next to his chair. "Sil." 

He looked up at her. 

Her brown eyes were steady, unwavering. "We are not going into this mission with you falling apart. Vorden and Raten need us. You need to be focused. Existential crises can wait." 

Shiro grinned. "Yeah. You can do the whole brooding self-hatred thing when we're not all about to die." 

Sil exhaled sharply. It almost—almost —sounded like a laugh. 

Jade gave him a firm look. "Shake it off. We'll figure out the future later. Right now, we need a plan." 

Sil ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah… yeah, alright." He straightened, rolling his shoulders. His face hardened. "Let's get our boys back." 

Cassidy clapped her hands. "Now you're talking."