The Cost of Belonging

I tiptoed back upstairs, my mind racing. "Why was Mom so worried about Emerald? And what did Aunt Denise have to do with it?" The conversation I overheard between my mom and Marie weighed on me, but it was too much to process all at once. As I laid down in bed that night, I decided to push those questions to the back of my mind. For now, I focused on the warm laughter I had shared with my new friends. After months of loneliness, I finally felt like I belonged.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual, brimming with excitement. I got dressed quickly, helped my siblings get ready, and darted out of the house before breakfast. Mom's voice followed me as I ran toward the gate.

"Hope! At least take your lunch box! Your friends aren't going anywhere!"

But I was too eager to care. I knew Mom would hand my lunch box to Marie later. Today was about my new friends, and I didn't want to waste a single second.

When I arrived at school, the air seemed lighter, brighter. I rushed to my seat, and soon, Jessica entered the classroom, flashing me a cheeky smile. During the lesson, she kept glancing my way, making exaggerated faces that mimicked the teacher's expressions. At first, I was shocked by her audacity. Then I found myself giggling, unable to resist.

"Hope! Is there something funny going on here? Why are you smiling?" The teacher's sharp voice cut through the room as she threw a piece of chalk at my desk.

I froze, my smile vanishing. "N-nothing, miss. I just remembered... something."

"I hope it's your lesson you remembered and not last night's Mr. Bean show," she retorted.

The entire class burst into laughter, including Jessica, Emerald, and Amelia.

"Silence!" The teacher's yell silenced the laughter as quickly as it began. "Hope, this behavior shouldn't happen again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, miss. It won't happen again," I murmured, lowering my head. I avoided Jessica's gaze for the rest of the class, focusing intently on my book.

When the break arrived, I didn't run to Marie's class like I used to. For the first time, I had my own friends to hang out with. Jessica, Emerald, and Amelia took me to the playground, where we claimed a bench near the swings.

"Don't feel bad, Hope," Amelia said, trying to cheer me up. "That teacher is grumpy all the time. Besides, you made everyone laugh, and making people laugh is a good thing."

"Yeah, I know making others laugh is good... but not when they're laughing at you," I replied, slouching against the bench.

"Don't worry about it," Emerald chimed in, brushing off my concerns. "Let's talk about something else. How about hobbies? I love gardening. I've grown a beautiful black rose plant in a pot, and I take care of it myself."

"Wow, gardening sounds amazing! Growing a black rose is no easy task," Amelia said, her eyes sparkling with admiration.

"Of course not," Emerald said proudly. "It takes dedication, but it's worth it."

"Well, my hobby is shopping," Amelia said, flipping her hair. "Whenever I feel stressed, I buy a new dress. It helps me relax. Plus, who doesn't love pretty dresses?"

Jessica rolled her eyes playfully. "How luxurious! Well, rich people can do anything. My hobby is playing the piano. I love creating melodies—it's so relaxing."

"That's such a noble hobby," Emerald said, nodding in approval. Then she turned to me. "What about you, Hope? What's your hobby?"

I felt a surge of excitement as it was finally my turn to share. "I love drawing! In my free time, I sketch my favorite cartoon characters. I even have a sketchbook full of different drawings. I could bring it to school tomorrow and show you!"

As I stood to fetch my bag, Emerald stopped me with a wave of her hand.

"No need to show us your... sketches," she said, her tone dismissive. "Drawing is a pretty lame hobby, to be honest. Anyone can doodle."

Her words hit me like a slap. "W-what do you mean by that?"

"It's boring and nerdy," Emerald replied nonchalantly. "We're your friends, so we don't mind. But don't go around telling people about it."

Jessica chimed in, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Hope. We'll help you find a better hobby. That's what friends are for."

"Yeah," Amelia added. "You could learn to play the violin. It's elegant and sophisticated. We'll help you get started."

Their words echoed in my mind: Drawing is boring... We'll help you find something better. At first, I felt a sting of sadness, but they were my friends—they must want the best for me. "Okay," I mumbled, forcing a small smile as I sat back down.

Emerald quickly changed the topic. "Anyway, have you noticed that chubby boy in our class?"

"Do you mean the red-haired one with braces?" Amelia asked.

"Yes, that one! What's his name?" Emerald turned to me.

"Brandon," I replied cautiously. "Why do you ask?"

Emerald smirked. "Brandon, I see. You sit behind him, don't you, Hope? I feel bad for you. He's like a pig, always eating."

Amelia laughed. "Yeah, he smells all the time. It's like he never showers!"

Jessica joined in. "He smells because he farts constantly. Poor Hope has to deal with his smelly farts every day."

Emerald's laughter grew louder. "I bet he eats trash when he runs out of food!"

The others erupted in laughter. Their laughter was contagious, but I couldn't bring myself to join in.

"Don't laugh like that," I said, feeling a pang of guilt. "Brandon probably tries his best not to fart."

Jessica waved off my concern. "You don't have to defend Brandon. It's just for fun, you know. It makes us happy."

"Happy?" I asked, frowning. "Does belittling Brandon make you happy?"

"Yes," Emerald replied without hesitation. "He's like a living joke. Everyone knows it, and I'm sure he knows it too. It's not a big deal. It's just for laughs."

"Oh... okay," I murmured. I tried to laugh with them, but the words lingered in my mind: Making fun of others makes people happy.

When I returned home that day, I was quieter than usual. Marie noticed and asked, "How was your day? Did you have fun with your friends?"

"I guess," I replied, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. "We talked about hobbies and... other stuff."

"What's wrong?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just tired, that's all."

Mom overheard and chimed in. "Tired from talking so much, I bet. You must have had a lot of fun."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, I did."

But as I lay in bed that night, I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling. Was this what friendship was supposed to feel like?