Chapter 16

The alarm clock on the bedside table flashed 3:47 AM, its crimson light the sole illumination in the room while I shifted restlessly in the cramped twin bed. My thoughts would not settle, swirling with uncertainties and self-blame. I revisited each moment from the previous day—Ruth throwing the men out, Noah's hurried arrival, his anxious expression. I despised the level of comfort his presence provided and how dependent I had become on him.

*This isn't the person I'm meant to be,* I mused resentfully, striking my pillow.

"Damn it," I grumbled, sitting up suddenly and swinging my legs off the edge of the bed. The crisp air nipped at my skin, yet I hardly noticed as anger surged inside me.

I gazed at the subtle shimmer of my father's pendant on the nightstand, my fingers longing to grasp it. Instead, I wrapped my arms firmly around my chest, as if to keep myself intact.

*Amelia, you are an adult now. Chloe's sole guardian. You shouldn't depend on others for your safety. That's your responsibility.*

My mind grew even gloomier as I recalled my history, the individuals who left when I became overwhelming. The pain of those recollections strengthened my determination.

*Individuals only remain close when you're dependable. The moment you become a liability, they leave.*

My jaw stiffened, and I gripped her hands. "Never again will I regret," I murmured passionately. "I've finished being a person who requires rescuing."

However, as if destiny chose to challenge my determination, the morning welcomed me with Chloe's cries cutting through the silence. Chloe's wails were piercing and incessant, cutting through the delicate silence I had struggled to achieve throughout the night.

I tossed aside the blanket and hurried to her crib, my heart dropping at the view of her red, tear-stained face. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" I whispered, lifting her and holding her close to my heart. She writhed, her tiny hands thrashing as her screams became increasingly intense.

I attempted all options. A container? She shoved it aside. Shaking? She merely screamed louder. I even found myself humming the lullaby my mother sang to me, my voice breaking on the notes, yet it didn't aid.

Anxiety gripped my heart. *What if there's an issue?*

When Ruth and Cindy arrived around mid-morning, I was struggling to keep it together. I was walking back and forth in the small kitchen, with Chloe still crying in my embrace.

"What in the world is happening here?" Cindy stormed in ahead, her voice slicing through the turmoil like a rescue line.

I didn't respond, too overwhelmed to articulate anything. She approached directly and took Chloe from my arms, her cheerful expression fading with worry. "Oh, darling," she murmured, rocking Chloe softly. "What's making you so troubled, huh?"

Ruth trailed closely, her demeanor serious as her piercing gaze examined Chloe from top to bottom. "She seems fine," Ruth whispered, placing her hand on Chloe's forehead. "Absence of fever."

"She's been this way all morning," I managed to force out, my voice strained with fatigue. "I'm uncertain about what actions to take."

Ruth nodded contemplatively, her fingers softly poking Chloe's stomach. Chloe whined but did not fight back. "Ruth asserted confidently, 'She isn't ill.'" "However, she is certainly angry about something."

I felt like collapsing at that moment, but I noticed a movement from the corner of my eye—Noah, staying by the door. He didn't enter, merely remained outside with that same anxious expression he always had, as if the world could collapse if he closed his eyes.

*Please, not like this,* I thought, my stomach churning. The last thing I required was him coming in and making me feel even more inadequate.

I averted my gaze, attempting to concentrate on Cindy, who was now bouncing Chloe on her hip while softly humming a happy melody. "She's likely just uninterested," Cindy remarked, glancing back at me. "You both have been confined here for far too long."

The words struck me like a blow. I stood still, my face losing all color.

"I don't believe—" I began, but Ruth interrupted me.

"She's correct," Ruth remarked, folding her arms. "Breathing in fresh air could benefit her." "Seems like you're doing well also, by the way."

I began to speak in protest, but before I had the chance, Noah finally entered the room.

"No," he replied decisively, his voice soft yet resolute. His shyness appeared to have disappeared. "It's excessively perilous."

My heart raced as all eyes shifted towards him. "I can manage it," I replied swiftly, attempting to maintain my composure.

"No, you cannot," he retorted, his gaze fixed on me.

I recoiled at the challenge in his voice. "You can't make that decision for me, Noah."

"It's not only concerning you!" His voice elevated a bit, and Chloe whimpered in Cindy's embrace. He inhaled deeply, evidently attempting to soothe himself. "Amelia, I ask you." Simply consider this. "It isn't safe out there."

I despised the way his words caused me to pause, even if just for an instant. However, I then recalled my restless promise. *Never depend on anyone else again. No further regrets.*

"I have to accomplish this," I stated, my tone soft yet resolute. "I won't allow fear to dictate my life."

Noah appeared ready to debate further, but Cindy, always the mediator, positioned herself between us. ""Come on, everyone, let's just pause for a moment, alright?" she remarked, her voice cheerful yet tinged with strain.

I didn't hold off for the conversation to advance any more. Seizing Chloe's walker and a diaper bag, I made my way to the door. "I'll return shortly," I remarked without turning to face anyone.

"Amelia, hold on!" Noah shouted, yet I didn't pause.

As soon as I went outside, the air struck me like a frigid slap. For a moment, I hesitated, my heart pounding as I looked back at the restaurant. Noah stood in the doorway, his face showing both anger and concern.

*This is not a good plan,* a voice murmured in my mind, but I pushed it aside.

I repositioned Chloe in the carrier secured to my chest and began walking towards the park. Each step seemed weighty and incorrect, yet I persisted, the soothing sounds of Chloe's gentle coos my sole support.

I didn't pause and truly allow myself to reflect until I was halfway down the street. My grip on the carrier's straps tightened as I became aware of just how vulnerable we were.

*What am I up to?*

The streets were alive with energy—kids giggling while running after one another, the blaring horns of cars, and dogs barking far away. The atmosphere was crisp, touched by the fragrance of blossoming flowers, yet it felt suffocating to me. Each noise appeared to be more intense than it ought to be, and every motion in my peripheral vision felt more suspect.

I looked around, attempting to concentrate on Chloe's gentle murmuring. She was settled in her stroller, unaware of the turmoil rising within me. However, the joyful environment hardly did anything to calm the memories surfacing. The previous occasion I visited a park, it was not a joyful experience. It had been...

I I brushed the thought aside, compelling myself to focus on the now. I had to demonstrate that I could manage this.

As I turned a corner, I noticed something—or someone. To my left, casually leaning against a black sedan that was parked by the curb, stood a man in a black suit. His head leaned just a bit, and although his features were obscured, I sensed the intensity of his stare directed at me.

My heart sank.

I tightened my hold on the stroller and quickened my pace, my breathing becoming quicker. I looked back over my shoulder, my heart pounding in my ears.

However, he was not present.

The vehicle remained, now vacant, as though I had dreamed the entire experience.

*It's not a big deal. Just your imagination,* I reassured myself, yet the notion did little to ease the thumping in my chest. I watched each person who walked by, scrutinizing their gestures and facial expressions. All individuals appeared doubtful. The individual seated on the bench with his newspaper, the jogger who paused close to the playground, and even the teenager with his dog.

I sensed that I was unable to draw breath.

A hand on my shoulder caused me to scream.

"Sweetheart, are you feeling okay?" a gentle, worried voice inquired.

I spun around, my heart racing, to find an older woman positioned behind me. Her expression was furrowed with concern, her hand gently placed on my shoulder.

It seems like your message was cut off. Could you please provide the full text you'd like me to paraphrase? "I'm okay," I stuttered, my voice shaking as I attempted to regain my composure.

"You're as pale as a spirit," she remarked, her gentle eyes examining me. "Why don't you take a seat for a minute? "Take a moment to breathe."

She pointed to a nearby bench, and I silently nodded, settling onto it with trembling legs. The woman paused briefly, gently patting my hand before moving along.

I remained seated, holding onto Chloe's stroller, her gentle cooing being the sole thing anchoring me. The surroundings appeared to fade away as my mind sped up.

*What am I up to?*

Yet, as my breathing calmed, the pressure in my chest started to change. It wasn't dread that occupied the area now—it was determination.

I would never allow anyone to harm Chloe. I will never allow anyone to make me feel helpless again.

Shaking off my discomfort, I got to my feet and started walking again, my steps more steady this time. If there was a threat beyond, I'd confront it. For Chloe, for me. For the family I vowed to safeguard.