Chapter 4: Buzzed

WARNING: This chapter contains sexual content that may upset some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Eiya

The sky was buried in dark clouds. I had been walking to my part time job downtown. It has been raining for the past few days so I brought my umbrella. As I continued walking, I felt a few raindrops fall onto my face and opened my umbrella.

"Eiya! You're just in time! I was waiting for you. I was worried I was going to get soaked today. Luckily you brought an umbrella," said the young woman in a white long sleeved crop top and blue denim shorts. Her blonde bob cut hair and green eyes brightened the dark shadows of clouds.

"Hey, Mina," I smiled as I walked towards her. Mina swooped my arm into hers and clung onto me.

"Let's go to work together!" Mina chimed. I could feel her hand slide into mine's. I started to feel my cheeks burn a bit from the touch of her chest pressing against my arm. I still wasn't getting used to her holding my hands randomly or getting this close, but it seemed to make her happy so I wouldn't stop her.

Snap! Snap!

Those were the last shots. It had been a long day of modeling. It's almost 5 P.M. now.

"Good job today, Eiya!" said Director Katerina. She was the one who scouted me when she found me walking to school.

I smiled back and waved, "See you next week!"

Mina should be done with her shoot by now, too. I went into my room and changed my clothes, returning the clothes from the shoot onto one of the racks. I grabbed my umbrella and walked to Mina's room. Huh, her lights are off so maybe she's not here.

Maybe she went home ahead. But she would have texted me if she had something going on, right?

I'm a little thirsty. I think I'll get some juice from the vending machine downstairs. One of the rooms on the way was lit up. It had a small glass window near the door. 

"Haha, isn't this a little too early?" a voice said.

I recognized the first voice. It's Mina. I walked up to the room then stopped.

Ah. She's not alone. I could see them from the glass window. This might take a while. We usually went home together after our shoots if we ended around the same time.

"Not at all. I've been waiting all day to see you," said another voice.

I guess I could just stand here and wait for her- I watched a taller man lean over her. That bastard- he must be pushing himself onto her!

"Wait," Mina said as she gently pushed him against the desk behind him, "It's my turn today."

I froze as I watched them lock lips as she held his hands. I turned away and quickly walked out of their sight.

I- I thought she liked me. I guess not. I guess I was just assuming things. I was never anything special to her.

"Oh, hey Eiya!" said a voice. It was Director Katerina but I didn't want to see anyone right now so I continued to walk. I hope she thinks I didn't hear her.

As soon as I exited the building, tears rolled down my face. I really liked her a lot. There were times she did make me feel a little… unsettled by her behavior like how she would get jealous when other girls at the shoot came to see me. So, I thought she liked me. I guess I was wrong. Maybe she was just being nice to me all this time.

Ding! I got a text. It was from Hiroshi.

"Come hang with me tonight!" he texted.

"Sure. When?" I texted back.

"Now, if you're off of work," he texted.

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. Hopefully, he doesn't notice my red eyes. Maybe the redness will go away as I walk to his place.

We had been drinking and gaming for a few hours now. The sun had dipped down past the horizon.

I sat on the couch, my fingers gripping the game controller, trying to focus on the screen. Hiroshi was sitting next to me, his laughter loud, echoing against the walls.

"Ha! Got you again," Hiroshi said, laughing as the "K.O." hit the screen.

"You're cheating, admit it," I retorted, half-joking.

"Just face it—you'll never beat me," he teased, leaning closer and nudging me with his shoulder. 

His touch lingered for a moment too long. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, noticing the small smirk on his face. There was an edge to his playfulness tonight, something that sent a strange, nervous flutter through my chest. Maybe it was the alcohol. Or maybe my heart was telling me what I was starting to figure out for the past month. Did I... also like Hiroshi? Was I... attracted to guys?

"You're just mad you're bad at this," he added, his tone lighter again.

"Oh, whatever," I said, rolling my eyes trying to hide the heat in my cheeks. I think I might like him.

As we continued to play, his touches became more frequent—a hand brushing against mine, his knee pressing against my thigh. Was he signaling something? Or was I overthinking it? My heart beated again as his shoulder pressed against mine.

Ding! I looked at my phone. It was a text from Mina.

"I hope you got home safely! Sorry I didn't walk with you today. My shooting went on a little longer than expected," her text said.

I scoffed a little. Liar.

"C'mon! It's starting, Eiya!" Hiroshi said.

At one point, I won a round, and he dramatically dropped the controller. "You're getting better," he said, leaning back against the couch, his arm stretching along the backrest behind me. His hand rested on my shoulder, his fingers lightly grazing my neck.

"Maybe I've been letting you win too much," I said, trying to sound normal, but my voice came out a little nervous.

He chuckled, leaning in just slightly. "Or maybe you're just hiding your skills."

His words made my stomach twist in a mix of flattery and unease. There was a warmth in his gaze, but it carried an intensity that made my heart pound faster.

"Eiya," he said after a pause, his voice quieter now. "You've been different lately… in a good way."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not sure where he was going with this. I hope he can't see the redness in my face. The room was dimly lit by the television but still bright enough to see the hue of our skin.

"You're just… special," he said, his hand moving from my shoulder to my knee. The touch sent a shiver through me— my chest tightened. Did the alcohol go to his head? I don't think I like the way this is going. I thought I was okay being around him because he was a friend but this just didn't feel right. Why was my skin screaming to reject him? Wasn't I starting to like him a little more than a friend?

I shifted slightly, trying to create space between us, but he didn't move his hand. Instead, he leaned in closer, his breath warm against my cheek. We often drank together before but he never got close like this.

"You feel it too, don't you?" he murmured.

The room felt smaller suddenly, the air heavier. I didn't answer, my mind racing as his hand started sliding up my leg. I was feeling good moments ago but this- it just felt and looked something familiar. My skin recognized this crawling sensation. It felt wrong.

"Hiroshi, wait," I said, my voice trembling. "I think—"

"You think too much," he interrupted, his tone soft but insistent. "You don't have to overthink this, Eiya. Just let it happen. it's okay."

As his words sank in, a wave of fear gripped me. The way he touched me, the way he spoke—it reminded me of the past. Flashes of my cousin's hands on me, his voice telling me the same, filled my mind.

"Hiroshi, no, it's- this is NOT okay," I said more firmly, trying to pull away.

But he tightened his grip on my leg and arm, leaning in until our faces were inches apart. "Why are you acting like this?" he asked, his voice taking on an edge. "You know you want this. Don't lie to me."

His body was a little bigger than mine. We were around the same height and yet I felt intimidated by his size.

I shook my head, panic setting in. "I said no. Let me go."

"Eiya," he said, his voice softening again but still holding that manipulative edge. His smile turned dark, no longer the friendly one I recognized. "You're just scared. It's fine. You'll see, it's fine."

"No, it's not fine!" I yelled, shoving at his chest, but he didn't budge.

"You're overreacting," he snapped, frustration slipping into his tone. "Why do you always have to make things so difficult?"

His hand moved to my wrist, gripping it tightly as he tried to pull me closer. "Hiroshi, stop!" I yelled, my voice shaking.

"Just relax," he said, his tone dropping to something almost condescending. "You'll thank me later."

The fear crawling up my spine turned to desperation. My heart raced, my breathing quickened, and I acted on instinct. Twisting my arm, I yanked free, but before I could step away, he grabbed me again—this time by the forearm.

"Don't leave," he said sharply. "You're being ridiculous."

I struggled against his grip, fear and adrenaline taking over. "Let go of me!" I screamed, raising my elbow and slamming it into his chest with all the strength I had.

He stumbled back, falling to the floor with a grunt. For a moment, he just lay there, stunned. "Eiya…" he started, his voice carrying a mix of anger and disbelief.

I didn't wait for him to recover. My hands trembled as I grabbed my guitar case and my phone. Then, without looking back, I bolted out the door.

"Eiya, wait!" he called after me, but I didn't stop. 

I scrambled to turn off my location so he wouldn't follow me. My legs carried me as fast as they could through the quiet neighborhood streets until I reached the school campus. A wide man made squared lake spread across in front of the brown buildings. I ran straight to my favorite spot, the bench at the furthest point of the lake.

I collapsed onto the bench, gasping for breath. My chest heaved, my mind racing with what had just happened. The reflection of the moon on the rippling water seemed distant and unreal, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me.

I sat there for what felt like hours, clutching my phone and trying to steady my breathing. The fear still lingered, but so did a strange sense of relief. I was out. I was safe. For now.

I clenched my fist and yelled out to the night sky. Tears slipped down my face as I let out my cries. It was past midnight. Surely no one would be out at this time of night. It should be fine crying out here in public. But at the same time, I kinda don't care. I just want to pour out whatever I was feeling.

I wiped my face then took a deep breath and picked up the guitar out of its case and cleared my throat. I sniffled and started to strum.