o(* ̄▽ ̄*)ブMany thanks to Kermit for their Patronage!♥♥
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"Why am I making this harder on myself?! Tracking down criminals and secret chambers is exactly the kind of thing professionals should handle!"
Kasenhis suddenly realized—he had a genius neighbor at his disposal.
Sherlock Holmes, I chose you!
There was no need for him to sit here agonizing over the map…
He had been overcomplicating things—completely overcomplicating them…
Wait, no—
He worked for that map, climbing seven floors on an empty stomach with Dumbledore.
It still needed to be useful.
For example, once someone decoded it, he could use that data to create a full 3D model of Hogwarts.
If he added a name-tracking spell, it could even function as a surveillance system.
As for finding the actual Chamber of Secrets? That was Holmes's problem to solve!
England had been relatively peaceful these past few years—he is probably dying of boredom from all this quiet living.
All Kasenhis had to do was rephrase a few things:
Hogwarts becomes a regular old castle. The Basilisk becomes a gun. Voldemort becomes a murderer. Moaning Myrtle becomes just a regular deceased person. The Chamber of Secrets becomes the killer's hideout.
So, finding the Chamber just turns into finding clues in the killer's hideout.
As long as he translated all magical elements into ordinary terms that Holmes could understand, the mystery would solve itself!
After so many years of being neighbors with Holmes, Kasenhis had absolute confidence in his deduction skills.
That level of reasoning was practically the Dumbledore-equivalent of logic and investigation. Quite possibly unmatched in the past and maybe even in the future!
And considering Holmes's obsession with solving everything purely through deduction…
To be honest, when he first arrived in this world, he thought it was a detective-themed universe.
After all, if your friend is Sherlock Holmes, who on earth would expect Hogwarts to exist?
With his current tasks officially delegated to his lovely neighbor, Kasenhis suddenly realized…
He had nothing to do.
"???"
For the next stretch of time, Kasenhis's life at Hogwarts was extremely boring.
Same old routine:
Classes
Meals
Sleep
Occasionally tutoring Neville in Alchemy
Dropping by the Hogwarts kitchen to cook up special meals with the Hufflepuff students
Days passed lazily—Until finally, Merlin himself put on his white lace tights.
Christmas break arrived.
Snow blanketed Hogwarts, and at Hogsmeade Station, the Hogwarts Express once again cosplayed as an old-fashioned steam train as it pulled into the platform.
Kasenhis stood by the floor-to-ceiling window of his Alchemy Office, gazing toward the distant station.
Originally, Neville had planned to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays, but a letter from his grandmother called him home instead.
He had even invited Kasenhis again, but once more, he was politely declined.
This time, though, Kasenhis actually had some valid excuses!
Tracking down Lupin!
Pinpointing the exact location of the Chamber of Secrets!
In short—Christmas this year was, once again, a holiday of absolute freedom.
Next, all he had to do was find an excuse to bail on next year's Christmas as well…
Hmm… maybe he wouldn't even need an excuse.
Under Dumbledore's leadership, Hogwarts has become a land of legendary chaos, after all.
Last year, they had Quirrell.
This year, they had a Basilisk.
If something equally ridiculous didn't happen next year, it would just feel wrong.
There was no need to go looking for excuses—he just had to sit back and wait, and the reason would come knocking on its own.
After watching the Hogwarts Express pull out of the station, Kasenhis donned his coat and headed toward Dumbledore's office.
After weeks of living like a carefree slacker, he had only just remembered that when Dumbledore asked him to find Lupin, he never actually gave him Lupin's address.
And while England wasn't exactly massive, it wasn't small enough to explore on foot either.
"Cockroach Cluster."
The stone gargoyle moved aside, and Kasenhis climbed the stairs to Dumbledore's office, knocking politely on the door.
"...."
Silence.
"....."
"No one's here?"
He frowned, then used Ender Pearl teleportation to jump straight inside, making a beeline for the liquor cabinet in the corner! Kekeke~
After grabbing a few bottles of fine wine and storing them in his ring, he casually flopped down into Dumbledore's chair.
"Ahh… so comfortable. Is this a headmaster's privilege?"
"You could say that."
One of the portraits hanging on the office wall replied.
"Mm-hmm… Did you all use this same chair when you were headmasters? Or was this purchased from somewhere?"
Kasenhis asked, eyes still closed.
"This chair carries enchantments from Lady Hufflepuff herself—naturally, it's far superior to any chair you could find elsewhere."
"…Can I take it?"
Kasenhis dropped all pretense and asked outright.
"Unfortunately, you cannot."
One of the former headmasters replied firmly.
"Fine."
Even as he said that, he still stood up and lifted the chair from behind.
At first, it left the ground smoothly.
And then—BZZZZT—BOOM!
Kasenhis vanished in an instant.
The chair, however, remained in place, slamming back down with a loud thud.
"Damn! Alright, I thought you guys were just being dramatic, but turns out you actually meant it."
Kasenhis reappeared in the office, sighing as he flopped back down into the headmaster's chair.
"The chair is magically bound to the office—it cannot leave."
"Of course, if you really want it, you could always apply to be the next Headmaster. Maybe Dumbledore will give it to you."
One of the portraits helpfully suggested, clearly enjoying the chaos.
"Unfortunately, if I really had that idea, I'd go talk to the next Headmistress—McGonagall."
"Then you'd be waiting a very long time."
"Mm-hmm… Right, where did Dumbledore go? Do you lot know?"
Kasenhis asked.
"We won't tell you."
"All we can say is that he disappears for a day or two every Christmas."
The portraits responded.
"Alright then…"
He glanced at the watch on his wrist.
"Time for me to head out as well. Farewell, Headmasters of history."
With that, Kasenhis Ender-teleported away, returning to his home on Baker Street.
"Hopefully, they're not in the middle of a case right now… and just sitting around bored at home."
Muttering to himself, Kasenhis rummaged through some corner of his house, pulled out a large bag, stuffed two bottles of wine inside, and headed next door.
BANG BANG BANG!
"Sherlock, open up! I demand presents! Also—WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER?!"
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P@treon: Dragonel