Clarity

Post-nut clarity.

That shit hits you hard, it is like getting hit by a philosophical truck. One minute, you're on top of the world, literally and figuratively. The next, you're wondering what the fuck just happened and how it happened.

The walk to the bus stop was quiet.

She was back in her uniform, skirt smoothed out, blazer neat, tie still a little crooked like she hadn't fixed it all the way. If you saw her now, you'd think she just left a study group. It was just a normal evening.

Was it now?

Taking a glance at her, she looked normal. Comfortable. Meanwhile, I could still feel the ghost of her legs around my waist. We hadn't talked about it yet. Not when we caught our breaths, not when we showered and dressed up.

Just a lot of breathing, silence, and then the sound of zippers and buttons like nothing ever happened. No conversation. No eye contact longer than necessary. She just got dressed, tied her shoelaces, and said she had to catch the next bus before it got dark.

So I offered to walk her obviously. Because I'm me, and I also felt extra responsibility because of the sex and also because walking someone halfway through your shared confusion felt less strange than letting her go alone.

Post-nut clarity hits different when you don't know what the hell you're supposed to say afterward.

I mean… this is Mina.

We're close. Excluding Denki, she's the only person I really talk to without filtering my thoughts. She's loud, unpredictable, and always getting into some kind of chaos but that's just her.

She's sexy, obviously. Everyone knows that. She walks like she owns the air around her. But I've never looked at her like that. Never crossed that line, never even thought about it.

Until now.

And not just thought about it, we did it. All of it. No hesitation. No plan. Just heat, timing, and bad decisions wrapped in good feelings.

Now I don't even know what box to put this in. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I regret it. It wasn't regret actually, just… weight. Like the kind that settles on your chest when you're trying to sleep, not heavy enough to crush you, but annoying enough to keep you awake.

We walked side by side. Our shoulders didn't touch.

A part of me wanted to ask, 'Are we gonna talk about it?'. I wanted to say something, ask her what this meant. Or if it even meant anything. But she just walked beside me, phone in hand, eyes on the road, like she was pretending we were still in that 'before' phase and I didn't know if I should pretend too.

My mind went to the couch, remembering it was soaked in her juices. I had no idea what to do concerning that, just pray my parents don't come home tonight for starters.

I glanced at her and we locked eyes. I think she was about to say something, but the bus pulled up before either of us could find the words.

She let out a soft smile, as she got on the bus. 'Hey....wait, Mina.' I tried to say but the words were stuck in my throat. I didn't know whether because or I didn't know what to say.

Like my thoughts had magically reached her ears, she turned just at the entrance. The silence between us felt extremely loud as our eyes locked once more.

'Hey...'

"Hey.." I cleared my throat.

"Hmm?" She replied, although it was barely audible.

'I don't know how to put this...'

"Hey, um..uh.."

'I don't know how else to say this...'

"So, about today.."

'What are we now?'

"Thanks....Thank you for checking up."

'We are still friends or not?'

"I really appreciate it, it actually means a lot."

'Would everything change? Do you have feelings for me?'

"I'm sorry for stressing and worrying you, I thought that would only be exclusive to my parents" I awkwardly chuckled at my joke, somehow it got a smile from her.

'How long have you had feelings for me?'

"Thank you for today.."

'I just want to know...'

"I really liked it..."

'What are we now?'

"Really glad that my first time was with a hot girl like you" A genuine smile appeared on my face regardless of my thoughts. Her eyes soften as a warm smile appears on her face as the doors closed.

I watched the bus drive off, red taillights blinking like the end of something I didn't have the language for.

***

CRACK!!

The sound echoed through the bedroom like a slap.

I watched the blade split clean down the middle, then crumble into smoke and fragments at my feet. Four seconds. That's all I got before it fell apart again.

I didn't even blink.

I exhaled through my nose, watching the shadows fade away like they were embarrassed. None of them lasted. Not yet.

Every time I got a little closer, it slipped through my fingers like it was mocking me.

'Not yet there but I can feel it'.

The past few days had been quiet. Since I had recovered, I spent my time training and mostly practising on making the weapons. The earlier I could add to my arsenal, the better it would help me to free myself from AFO's grasp. I could feel myself getting better but the progress seems quite slow for me, I don't really know if that's just impatience.

Mina and I haven't really talked, we have but not like we used to. Just some dry texts here and there. Well, it's not really a big deal. When we meet, we'll talk.

I crouched, focused, and pulled again, let the darkness gather, into something solid. The outline of a blade formed fast, sharper than before. Lighter too. But even as I gripped it, I could feel it, wobbly.

It broke after two swings.

Another deep breath.

I didn't scream in frustration. Didn't punch the wall. Just closed my fist, let the shadows melt away, and tried again.

'It is really pressuring knowing the power to probably change things lie in your hands.'

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A/N: I tried to tidy up the ends of the dynamics between Azaria and Mina. Hope you like it, I acted felt I hadn't really done much on romance. Next chapter resumes with the usual.

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