9-NEVER:WILL HE RUN FROM ME?

VIOLET'S POV

I am staring at myself in the six-foot-length mirror in my bedroom.

I am looking at myself in casual purple shorts with a white shirt and purple sneakers Mum used to wear. My hair is tied into a messy bun and I am not wearing makeup.

My face is pale and lean and too white. My eyes start to water, and I bite my lip.

I can never be beautiful again. I cannot be full of life and energy again. In no time, my hair will fall off, and I'll be ugly, and no one will enjoy speaking to me.

I shut my eyes and drink my tears back in. There is no use putting on makeup anymore and pretending like I'm not dying.

I don't know what Ethan would think of me when he sees me this way. If he runs away looking at me, I'll be glad he did because I am tired of pretense and being treated with pity.

I fill up my bag with my calculus textbook, my English textbook, and a small notebook.

I head on to the living room and see Aunt Mary reading Once Upon A Broken Heart while holding Rufus to her body.

I smile, seeing him sleep, walk to him, and place a kiss on his delicate forehead.

Aunt Mary looks at me and smirks, " Where are you heading to all dressed up?"

" It's just a casual wear."

" Well does it have to do anything with that boy that came over yesterday?" She winks.

I laugh, grab a pillow from the couch, and throw it on her. My aim is always on point, so it strikes her head.

" Maybe or maybe not." I head for the front door.

" Make sure to come back early and use protection!" She shouts before I close the door.

I hold a smile and begin to walk to Ethan's house. I don't know why he didn't tell me where he lives. Does he know I have known where he stays since ninth grade? I surreptitiously followed him to his street.

Maybe he knows Ashton had shown me his house a couple of times before.

I envision my legs as a skipping rope, well, because I have nothing left but my weird imagination. I try to skip over my legs. The more I fail, the more I try again.

" Uh, purple."

I pause my stunt and I look up from my leg and to my side to see Ashton on his bicycle, staring at me with a watery smile. His expression falls, and when I realize why, I look away.

" You okay?"

I nod too abruptly. " Yes, I'm fine.."

" Oh… okay. You can hop on my bicycle; I'll ride you to wherever you are going."

I look at him again and he isn't looking at me with pitiful eyes. I am a bit relieved. I get onto the rear rack, my body facing in one direction while I wrap my arm around his waist.

He laughs for some reason. " You don't have to hold on too tightly. I mean, I have to breathe while riding this thing."

" Oh," I flush and slightly weaken my grip on his waist.

He does something with his foot on the bicycle pedal. I observe. He kicks another foot on the ground and I am moving. My heart is racing.

In less than a minute, his leg is kicking back and forth and the bicycle is moving very quickly.

" So where to Purple?"

" Ethan's."

He laughs again. " For real, where's your destination?"

" Ethan's."

" Oh, uhm, are you serious?"

" Yes, he wanted me to be his tutor. He said Principal Michaels threatened to expel him if he didn't get his grades up."

Ashton goes mute for some seconds. " Oh, yeah, he told me about that on Monday but I thought he was… joking. At least someone smarter than me gets to be his tutor."

I smile and smack his back at the sarcasm in his tone. " Shut up."

" No, seriously, Ethan deserves a tutor who has gotten first place throughout elementary school. I mean Violet, you need to be applauded." He laughs.

" Oh my God, don't tell me you'll keep saying this till we reach Ethan's." I groan while laughing.

" Sometimes I wonder why we aren't in a relationship, you know me too well."

Ashton managed to make me laugh for a whole fifteen minutes. I nearly peed on myself because of him. He always knows how to take away my bad mood.

He comes to a stop in front of Ethan's house, and my heart begins to race. Emily is outside, watering the flowers in the mini garden and, at the same time, gazing at her phone.

I don't think she realizes I and Ashton are here.

I look at Ashton to thank him for the ride. He is face is more red than it was a minute ago. He is looking at Emily and scratching his neck.

Everyone knows he has a huge crush on her except her.

His eyes narrow down at me, and when he notices I'm smirking at him, he frowns and looks away. " All right, tell Ethan I said hi and I hope to see you in school soon."

He gets on the bike and rides off when I nod in response.

Emily finally looks up from her phone. Her eyes narrowed as they followed Ashton before they landed on me, and she nearly dropped the watering can when she flinched.

I don't know if to be offended or not.

" Violet? Shit, I didn't see you there." She dropped the watering can and walked to me before pulling me into a tight hug. You have not attended school since my brother hurt James, which got me worried. I'm sorry I slept with him, I thought you guys had broken up."

" It's fine Emily." I grab her hand and pull away.

We aren't that close because she is two grades younger than me and all but we are at least friends.

She knows I know she's Ethan's sister, but she made me swear not to tell anyone even though I wasn't planning to.

" My dog is sick and I had to take care of him—"

" Oh, Rufus. I'm so sorry."

" No, it's fine, it's not your—"

" No wonder you look so pale, it must be so hard taking care of a sick dog."

" Yes but—"

" I'll come over tomorrow to check up on Rufus, poor thing he must be—"

" Emily that's enough." Ethan is standing by his front door, wearing a scowl while staring at Emily.

She pretty much rolls her eyes at him and then looks back at him. " Like I was saying—"

" Emily I said it's enough." Ethan is standing by her side. " You won't even let her complete a statement before cutting her off."

Emily ignores Ethan and flashes a fake smile my way. " What snacks does Rufus like?"

" Uh, he—"

" Is it cheese balls or—"

" Emily!" Ethan hissed and grabbed her hand, but she shoved him hard on the chest. He does not even budge an inch in response to her hit. She grinds her teeth at him before storming into the house.

Ethan sighs and runs a hand through his face.

They do not speak to each other in school and when they are at home, it seems like they are enemies to each other. I don't understand why, but I can see from the looks in Ethan's eyes that he's trying to say something, but he is holding himself back.

" I'm sorry for her behavior. She speaks too much sometimes." He is looking me straight in the eyes and isn't acting like he is seeing me without makeup.

" I know but there was no need to speak to her like that. We are friends, so I'm used to it."

" Eth— Ethan, who is that you are with?" Ethan's mum is standing by the front door; her eyes are filled with excitement and surprise as she looks at me. " Dear, come inside, come I made chocolate cookies."

Ethan doesn't look happy that she is talking to me but I cannot say no to her. She looks really happy seeing me. I guess it's maybe because I might be the first girl Ethan is talking to aside from Emily.

I walk to her, and she takes my hand in hers. Her hands are really cold. She looks stressed out and I feel a pang in my chest because I remember how vibrant she used to look.

" You look kind of familiar, what's your name?"

We walk into the medium-sized living room, and she lets go of my hand when I sit on the red sofa.

" Violet Griffin," I say as she walks to the dinette. Ethan is standing by the door leading to the foyer and his face is expressionless as usual.

Mrs Reed gasped. " Griffin?" She walked quickly into the living room and placed a platter filled with cookies on the small table in front of me before sitting next to me and holding my hands again.

Her eyes are wide with happiness. " Uh, is your dad Freeman Griffin?"

" Yes, we used to live in California years ago before we moved to Seattle," I tell her and she beams.

She looks at Ethan. " You remember her, don't you? She used to come to our church in Beverly Hills back then."

I look at Ethan, waiting to hear his answer.

" She's the one you bought a Christmas present for on our last Christmas in California."

Ethan's arms are folded around his chest. He is looking at everywhere but us. Why doesn't he just answer the question?!

He's nodding. " Yes, I remember."

Millions of giant ants are running a parade in my stomach. He remembers! Does he remember me? I am blushing and smiling and almost laughing. I feel like pulling his mum into a hug.

" Are you guys friends?" Mrs. Reed has hopeful eyes. " I've been so worried Ethan would die having only one person to talk to. I like Ashton but a guy needs a person other than his fellow sex to talk to sometimes."

I chuckle. " We aren't friends… yet."

" Well, there's always a starting point. I can't remember when last I've been so happy. I'm really happy to see you… Oh, have some cookies; I have somewhere to run to, so I'd leave you and Ethan alone."

She throws a look towards Ethan. " Don't mess this up, you see, she's really pretty."

I stifle a chuckle when Ethan begins to scratch his neck.

Mrs. Reed leaves us.

Ethan peels himself from the wall and sits next to me. " What subject are we starting with?"

" Uh, calculus."

I wanted to ask him what the present was that he got for me, but he left the living room before I could open my mouth.

I take a cookie and take a bit. My eyes widen at the sweet taste, and I manage to eat up to seven before Ethan returns with a notebook and textbook. He looks at the platter and then at me with surprised eyes.

I smile and take another. Not my fault I'm a glutton.

" You remember me?" I say when he sits.

His body goes stiff. " What topic?"

" Huh?"

" What topic in calculus?"

" Oh, binomials," I say and take out my Calculus textbook. " Page 107."

He opens his textbook too quickly and eagerly like he's very interested in learning binomials. He doesn't look up at me throughout the teaching. He only hums when I ask him a yes or no question. I guess he's just really interested in learning.

Maybe I should stop looking at his lips while teaching him.

I give him some questions to solve, and now he is sitting on the floor with the book on his elevated knee while solving the question.

He grumbles while biting his pen and I try to hold a smile. He's really cute when he's oblivious.

" I am unsure of number five but…" He gives me the notebook. " I'm through."

Not the best handwriting I've seen. I take the book and scheme through his solution. I wince while going through it.

Four out of ten, no bad for the first time.

I show him his score, and to my surprise, his eyes brighten up. If it were me, I'd be rolling in the soil and crying.

" Thanks." He takes the book and gets up from the ground. " I made a good choice." He glanced at the wall clock. " Five thirty, I think you should head home before it gets late."

" But, I still have enough time left," I say.

" Uh, I have to head out plus I think it's enough for today."

"Okay, but I will leave you with an assignment. Give me your textbook."

He hands it to me, and I tick out some exercise questions for him to do. I pack up my stuff into my bag and get up then I hand him back his book.

" 60 dollars per hour, is that okay?"

I could use it to buy food for Rufus and pay for his medical bills with Silver's Dad. He said he could do his best to extend Rufus' life, but it would be expensive.

" Very. Thank you." I chew the inside of my mouth. " I'll leave now. Yes, and Ashton says hi."

He narrows his brows and I explain. " He rode me here on his bicycle."

" Oh... Okay, you don't have to come here tomorrow. I'll stop by at your place, maybe you could tutor me somewhere else without relatives intruding." He rubs his neck. " I know somewhere quiet we could stay."

" All right."