Bon Bao - The Advancing Troupe

The advancing troupe stopped in a wine cellar that smelled awful. The passageway beyond its door snaked around more organically than the earlier passages. The walls were lined with rocks stacked in a peculiar way. There were not as many trap mechanisms as before, but it took Pin Fun much longer to deal with them.

"So are these Qianqiu Dynasty traps?" asked Bon Bao.

"Yes," said Iba Algi.

"How can anything that old still function?" asked Ri Ran.

"The Qianqiu Dynasty created many wonders which cannot be duplicated today," said Iba Algi. "Such as the Attendants who serve royalty – and traps."

"Can you help Cute Boy?" asked Bon Bao.

"I could," said Iba Algi. "But by not helping, we help him grow."

"Not if he dies," said Bon Bao.

"Wrong!" said Iba Algi. "Cute Boy's mhoddim component is strong enough to reincarnate with retained knowledge."

"That punk?" asked Lady Wu. "Get out."

"My future husband's bubble-bottomed Bon Bao's component is also strong enough," said Iba Algi. "The Little Master has reincarnated once. You've reincarnated twice, Ogre Queen."

"I'm not sure you should call her that," said Bon Bao. "She's a lot bigger than you. A lot."

"She has embraced the role," replied the little princess.

They reached a round room with a big rock. The students brave enough to keep pace so far squeezed against Bon Bao for protection. Some shivered. The torches they carried cast wobbly shadows. Bon Bao wrapped his arms around as many of the poor things as he could.

"This chamber is intimidating," he said.

"Horrible things happened here!" said Ri Ran.

"Oh my gosh!" said Iba Algi. "Can you see the psychic echoes?"

"If that's what they're called…," said Ri Ran. "I see arms."

Iba Algi walked over to a wall, reached into a gap between boulders, and pulled out a piece of bone. The starving students did not like that one bit.

"It was worse before," said Iba Algi. "With the seals broken now, these terrible vestiges should fade away. The next chamber is bad too. But the only way to get there is through this rock. Cute Boy can't do it alone."

"Then it must be my turn," said Bon Bao.

He flexed.

"You'll have to crack it," said Iba Algi.

"What's the best approach?" asked Bon Bao.

"I'm not sure," conceded Iba Algi.

"You know what rocks were doing tens of millions of years ago," said Bon Bao, "but not how to crack one now?"

"I'm not a geomancer, you big silly," said Iba Algi. "Vibrate something."

Bon Bao snorted. Lady Wu swung her great big beat stick through the air. Starving students dove for cover. With a cry, the Ogre Queen slammed the butt of her rod against the boulder and held it. Bon Bao moved to the other side. Flexing his back, he clenched both hands into fists, encased them in bubbles of force, and punched. After his hands made contact, he continued pressing forward. Follow-through was important with force projection. In concert with Lady Wu, he tried to find a harmony that would make the boulder crumble.

"Punk," said Lady Wu. "Jump up there and give it a tap."

Pin Fun jumped up, materialized a short sword, and stabbed its tip down. His force techniques were not nearly as overwhelming as those of the Gargogryeons – but they were precise. The rock cracked. The starving students gasped. Then they applauded. Lady Wu went to work leveraging the boulder apart with her bronze stick.

She didn't do it quickly, but she did it.

The spiral staircase beneath the boulder permitted only slow progress. Pin Fun triple checked every step. Nobody hurried him. At the bottom of the stairs was a short stretch of level hallway, and then a ramp up. At long last, they entered a grand octagonal chamber. Ri Ran shivered so much Bon Bao was forced to give him a long, strong back massage.

The phoenix mosaic glistened under torchlight.

"Just the bird must be worth a fortune," said Bon Bao.

"It's so valuable," said Pin Fun, "only the royal family or great dukes could buy it."

"Let's sell it to them, then," said Bon Bao. "Why is the big stone coffin open?"

"The vampire king opened it!" said Nin. "He blew the lid clean off!"

"Nobody mentioned a vampire king," said Ri Ran.

"Vampire king?" asked Bon Bao.

"Nin said the vampire king blew the lid off," said Ri Ran.

"He did!" insisted Nin.

"Why didn't Cute Princess mention a vampire king?" asked Bon Bao.

"He's gone," said Iba Algi.

"Where did he go?" asked Ri Ran.

"Wherever he wanted," said Iba Algi. "He certainly didn't want to stay here."

"Princess," said Pin Fun, "if this unworthy servant understands correctly, you released an ancient vampire into Tianming Town because Lord Bon suggested that you might buy one of Ri Ran's paintings?"

"I would say 'but for' Lord Bon's suggestion," said Iba Algi, "I would not have released an ancient vampire. However, the actual reason my companions and I released him was so that Nin could leave this place and come play with me and Harlecuin Sols in the Old Keep."

"Thank you, Iba Algi!" said Nin.

"You're welcome, Nin!" said Iba Algi. 

"Will the vampire start killing people?" asked Ri Ran.

"That's what vampires do," said Bon Bao.

"That's horrible!" said Ri Ran.

"Vampires feed on malignant passions more than icky blood," said Iba Algi. "Consequently, they kill malignant people."

"It helps the environment!" said Harlecuin Sols.

"That's right, Harlecuin Sols!" said Iba Algi.

"What's right?" asked Bon Bau.

"Vampires are good for the environment," said Iba Algi. "All ecosystems require predators to manage problems, and malignant people are problems for just about everything."

"Well," said Ri Ran. "I guess so."

"Cute Boy?" asked Iba Algi.

"Cute Boy answers Cute Princess!" said Pin Fun.

"Stop," said Bon Bao.

"Maybe you aren't realizing the full implications of what's happened here?" asked Iba Algi.

The little girl grew comically menacing again.

Pin Fun looked around the room. He approached the stone coffin. Starving students urged him to be careful. Lady Wu and Bon Bao followed the twink. Pin Fun held his hand out over the open sarcophagus. The hilt of an enormous golden sword caked with gemstones floated up to his palm.

"Is that real gold?" asked a student.

"Are those real gems?" asked another.

"It's all real," said Pin Fun. "But this sword is more valuable than its gold and gems. Because of my unreasonable beauty, I was frequently a guest in Jian Peak Abbot's inner chamber. Through those visitations, I picked up knowledge about lost and forgotten lore. I know the First Emperor was a master of binding magic. He is the one who developed Imperial Theurgy. Binding powerful entities allowed him to manipulate some of their power for his own purposes."

"You're babbling for time," said Iba Algi. "Do you want a hint?"

"Cute Boy thanks Cute Princess," said Pin Fun.

"Stop," said Bon Bao.

"The Arkhanate of Urarhtu's Asamati Polemarch," said Iba Algi, "also known as…."

"Three Wing Devil," said Lady Wu.

Pin Fun let go of the sword. Several students gasped.

"Princess!" cried Pin Fun.

"Cute Princess answers Cute Boy," said Iba Algi.

"Don't encourage him!" protested Bon Bao.

"Have you released the God of War?" asked Pin Fun.

All eyes turned on the little girl in horror.

"Maybe," she giggled.

The starving students gasped.

"Five vampire kings and queens were bound for the purpose of stealing power from the fallen Polemarch," said Iba Algi. "Don't you look at me like that, Cute Boy."

She wagged a finger at him.

"Jian Peak Abbot might have brought you into his private chambers because of your remarkably cute butt," she said.

"Remarkably cute," agreed Bon Bao.

"But he didn't send your perfect bottom away for no good reason," said Iba Algi.

"Is that what the royal twink sniffed in those worthless clothes?" asked Bon Bao.

"Yes," said Iba Algi. "Jian Peak Abbot sent his smelly roses to find treasure."

"Interesting," said Lady Wu.

"It must have been quite a treasure," said Bon Bao, "if Jian Peak Abbot was willing to do without Pin Fun's smelly rose."

"He must also have been confident they would find something," said Ri Ran.

All the starving students looked at Pin Fun.

"They didn't know what they were looking for," said Iba Algi, "but I'll let you in on another secret!"

"What's that?" asked Pin Fun nervously.

"Jian Peak Abbot isn't the only one looking," said Iba Algi. "It's time, Little Master!"

"Me?" squeaked Ri Ran.

"Uh huh!" said Iba Algi. "Take my hand."

Ri Ran took the princess's hand.

"Away Team to Immaculate Homunculus!" said Iba Algi. "Extraction is a go!"

The little girl and Ri Ran vanished.

"Divine technique," said Lady Wu. "Translocation interface. Impressive."

Bon Bao wrapped an enormous arm around Pin Fun's slender shoulders.

"Cute Boy?" asked Bon Bao. "I get the feeling you understood more of what Cute Princess said than the rest of us."

"First Qianqiu Emperor bound five ancient vampires to build a formation he could use to bind the God of War," said Pin Fun. "The God of War's power was diverted into weapons. We were looking for those weapons."

He picked up the golden broadsword again.

"I'm not sure this is one of them," he said. "It feels… older."

"Older than the weapons First Qianqiu Emperor created?" asked Bon Bau.

"Yes," said Pin Fun. "After all, these were ancient vampires even then."

"Work with me," said Bon Bao. "The God of War is the Asamati Polemarch of the fallen Arkhanate. He's also the devil Three Wings. Five vampires were used to bind him. A little girl let one vampire go. How much time do we have left?"

"I wasn't lying when I told you my terrifying master was terrified of that little girl," said Pin Fun.