Fourth Prince - Garrett Summarized

Garrett summarized what Nin had said.

"You can hear her?" asked Bon Bao.

"Yes."

"Delicious Lambchop," said Bon Bao. "You're amazing."

"Why did you point the giant telescope at Hell?" Renjie asked Nin.

"To save Cute Boy from a lich!" said Nin.

"Did we almost run into a lich?" Renjie asked Iba Algi.

"No," said Iba Algi. "She means the other Cute Boy."

"Is he as cute as me?" asked Renjie.

"No," said Iba Algi. "But he has the same bubble-bottomed Bon Bao as you."

"What?" cried Renjie.

"Little Princess?" asked Bon Bao.

"Bubble Bottom?" asked Iba Algi.

"You saved Pin Fun from a lich?" asked Bon Bao.

"Nin has stated the facts of the story well, I think," said Iba Algi.

"I think so too!" said Harlecuin Sols.

"Thank you Iba Algi!" said Nin. "Thank you Harlecuin Sols!"

"Last I remember," said Bon Bao, "Pin Fun was taking the ancient vampire's legendary sword back to Jian Peak Abbey in order to give it to Jian Peak Abbot. Did he make it?"

"Yes," said Iba Algi. "Except Jian Peak Abbot died before your Cute Boy got there."

"I am his Cute Boy," said Renjie.

"His other Cute Boy," said Iba Algi.

"I'm his other Cute Boy," said Garrett.

"His other other Cute Boy," said Iba Algi with infinite patience.

"Let's back up," said Bon Bao. "Jian Peak Abbot is dead?"

"All the Sacred Mountain Conclave abbots are dead," said Iba Algi.

"Little Princess," said Bon Bao. "That's hard to believe."

"It is," agreed Iba Algi.

"Was it natural causes?" asked Bon Bao.

Renjie felt a tingle. It was a bit intuition, a bit werewolf senses, and a bit of his innate genius. Iba Algi was up to something. Snowblind Tigress was too. A menacing tension started building as Iba Algi prepared to answer Bon Bao's question. It was natural for everyone to doubt all the abbots might have died from natural causes within a few days of one another.

"Well…," said Iba Algi.

Renjie knew she was drawing this out longer than usual. But he did not know why.

"Yes, that would be too much of a coincidence," she said. "Wouldn't it?"

"It would," agreed Bon Bao.

"Then it wasn't natural causes," said Iba Algi. "But that's all I'll say!"

Tensions remained. But they were only the tensions a demonic red panda genius might expect to feel after such an important question got left unanswered. The extra menace had evaporated.

A test had been passed.

Was Iba Algi testing Bon Bao?

"How did the telescope save Almost As Cute As Me Boy?" Renjie asked Nin.

"I'm not sure about the specifics," replied Nin. "When we got to the tomb the lich was about to kill Almost As Cute As You Boy. Then Hell King Hades showed up and put a stop to that."

"Hell King Hades showed up personally?" asked Renjie.

"Uh-huh!" said Nin. "He wrapped the lich in chains and yanked him down to Hell. He was about to yank the ancient vampire king down too, but Iba Algi stopped him!"

"Lambchop," prompted Bon Bao.

Garrett explained that a lich was about to kill Pin Fun, but the King of Hell prevented it.

"Future Wife?" asked Renjie.

"Future Husband?"

"Why did you stop Hell King Hades from yanking the ancient vampire king to Hell?"

"Because there are too many bad people in the world," said Iba Algi, "and our vampire population is at a historic low. We need more vampires to eat more bad people."

"I see!" said Renjie.

"The ancient vampire king is going to turn Almost As Cute Boy into a vampire!" said Nin.

"Will becoming a vampire make him as cute as me?" asked Renjie.

"I don't think that's possible," said Nin.

Renjie hugged her.

"Pin Fun is going to get turned into a vampire?" asked Bon Bao.

"Jian Peak Abbey's gigolos are susceptible to vampirification," said Iba Algi.

"Princess?" said the Minister of Antiquities. "I haven't heard the entire conversation. But Delicious Lambchop has relayed enough that I think I might reconstruct what you're saying happened."

"Let's hear it!" said Iba Algi.

"The only thing that vaguely resembles a telescope near Jian Peak Abbey," said the Minister, "it the mile long tube of rock at the top of Kadar-Jormu Citadel."

"That's right!" said Iba Algi.

"Fascinating!" said the Minister. "And that telescope was pointed at Heaven. But you changed it to point at Hell. You then traveled to Jian Peak Abbey. Somewhere underneath it is a tomb. In that tomb there is a lich."

"Was a lich," said Iba Algi.

"The lich is no longer there because you used Kadar-Jormu's telescope to summon the King of Hell?" asked the Minister of Antiquities.

"Hell King Hades was looking for the lich," said Iba Algi, "but couldn't find him until my friends and I changed what the telescope was pointing at."

"Hell King Hades was spying on Heaven through Kadar-Jormu Citadel?" asked the Minister.

"The lich was spying on Heaven," said Iba Algi. "Heaven didn't realize that because it's a mess."

"I see," said the Minister of Antiquities.

"I don't see," said Bon Bao.

"She's saying that once the lich started spying on Hell," said the Minister, "he got caught because Hell was not as much of a mess as Heaven and detected the espionage. Who was this lich?"

"Maginobilius," said Iba Algi.

The Minister of Antiquities closed his eyes and entered a state of deep contemplation.

"Maginobilius was a distasteful little man," said Snowblind Tigress.

"An Adjunct Preceptor in the court of First Qianqiu Emperor," said the Minister of Antiquities, "he is credited with making necromancy accessible to people with warm blood."

"Like I said," said Snowblind Tigress. "Is there really a door here?"

"There is," said Iba Algi.

"Interesting," said Snowblind Tigress. "I have no sense of it at all. Or what's on the other side."

"Where do we push?" asked Bon Bao.

"Pushing won't work," said Iba Algi. "Nin. Harlecuin Sols. Assemble!"

Iba Algi placed her hand on the wall. Nin placed her hand on top of Iba Algi's. Harlecuin Sols placed his hand on top of Nin's. Snowblind Tigress then added her hand to the pile.

"If there's water on the other side…," said Bon Bao.

"Most of you will die," giggled the hydromancer Marakiri.

"There won't be any water," said Renjie.

"How do you know?" asked Bon Bao.

"My future wife is pretty silly sometimes," said Renjie. "But not that silly."

"Strictly speaking," said Iba Algi, "I am not able to resolve the future possibilities on the other side of the wall."

"So there could be water?" asked Renjie.

"There could be," agreed Iba Algi.

"And we might all die?" asked Renjie.

"Snowblind Tigress and Imojean will get you and me out in time," said Iba Algi. "Marakiri will be fine."

"That's a relief!" said Renjie.

Iba Algi began concentrating – and concentrating harder. Renjie found that a little disconcerting. Typically, whatever the little princess tried to do came easily to her – at least with respect to the occult. Snowblind Tigress was also concentrating hard. Though most known for combat techniques, her overpowered mhoddim component was fully capable of channeling ancient magic. On top of that, Renjie knew that Nin and Harlecuin Sols were kind of big deals.

Reality came undone.

A huge circle of rock broke into puzzle pieces. The pieces reshuffled themselves, then vanished completely. An opening over a hundred feet tall and just as wide remained behind. Beyond was a corridor unlike any other yet traversed. Its walls were covered with wavy, abstract reliefs on a scale that would only have made sense to giants.

Iba Algi wobbled. Renjie caught her before she fainted.

"You little imp," he said. "Don't overdo it!"

"Don't overdo it, Iba Algi!" repeated Nin and Harlecuin Sols.

"I'm fine," said Iba Algi in a daze.

"That seal," said the Minister of Antiquities. "It wasn't the First Qianqiu Emperor's magic."

"No," agreed Iba Algi. "First Qianqiu Emperor did not know about this seal."

"Who did?" asked Bon Bao.

"It was created by the Asamati Eponymous," said Snowblind Tigress.

"You couldn't have gotten where you're going through the tunnels the First Emperor used," said Iba Algi. "Not unless you dug them out all over again. Now your path is clear."

Her body felt unusually weak. Renjie squeezed her. Nin and Harlecuin Sols helped.

"That's more than a hint," he said. "If you've hurt yourself, I won't forgive you."

"I'm fine," insisted Iba Algi.

"If the First Emperor didn't know about this seal," said the Minister of Antiquities, "and this is a backdoor into the God of War's prison, then there must be another seal at the other end."

"You're not opening another one," Renjie told Iba Algi. "Absolutely not."

"The Princess is tired," said Snowblind Tigress, "because we didn't just open one seal. We opened all of the seals."

"Are you tired?" Renjie asked her.

"I am," said Snowblind Tigress.

"Is this my chance to defeat you?" asked Bon Bao.

Frost formed on his skin. He dropped to the floor and got that funny look all over again.

"If not for Nin and His Majesty," said Snowblind Tigress, "the Princess and I would not have had the power to lift the seals."

"Oh my gosh!" said Nin. "I'm glad that we could help!"

"I'm glad too!" insisted Harlecuin Sols.

"His Majesty?" asked the Minister of Antiquities.

"Harlecuin Sols is the Last Qianqiu Emperor," said Snowblind Tigress.

The Last Qianqiu Emperor hid behind Iba Algi. Iba Algi held a hand over his fluffy blond hair to point out where he was. Everybody got down on the wet floor again.

Renjie pulled them all up. Again.

"Should we proceed?" asked the Minister.

Iba Algi pointed. Onward! Renjie refused. They would proceed, but not until after Iba Algi had lunch. Snowblind Tigress agreed.